Charmed

Now. I'm living somewhere I find incredibly beautiful. I love the new people I'm meeting since I moved here. I have been able to travel extensively around Europe. My children and extended family are all healthy and happy (or at least as happy as could reasonably be expected). Materially, I have everything I could possibly need, and emotionally I have almost everything I've ever wanted. I feel incredibly spoiled - to the point that I wonder why all this good stuff is happening for me while others are not so fortunate.

I've had many times in my life when I was exactly where I wanted to be doing exactly what I wanted to do. I don't know if that means I've had a charmed life. I think it means that I figure out what I want, figure out a way to do it, and make it happen somehow. It has also helped that I started out and remain to this day in a supportive family that has helped me achieve my dreams every step of the way. I know that doesn't happen for a lot of folks. I think it also helps to be flexible, adaptable, and have a positive outlook. You draw towards you what you extend to others - I firmly believe that.

I think it's all about attitude em. Some people would have seen the life you were living as absolute hell.

Mine charmed life would be: working any hours I wanted writing music for my own pleasure that the world was hanging out to hear, with my own Abbey Road / Realworld studios and full symphony orchestra on 24 hour standby and all the techy synth gear I could wish for and a 24hr tech team to make stuff do what I want it to do instead of what the manufactures think I want....My mansion would attach to the side and I could pop over to play with my wife and kid any time I want, it would have a huge library of beautiful books and we'd take two big worldwide trips per year, rarely the same place twice.

I'm working towards this.......much more slowly than I would like

But I also wonder about the curse of getting everything you wish for....what would then be my purpose?

E.M.:-

You have to start with certain things given.You should know what those are by the look and sound of you.Advertising is aimed at people who feel,often mistakenly,that they are missing some of them.It's a terrible thing really but there it is.To those who have those certain things,possibly taking them for granted,influences come to play the most prominent role.Influences can negate the value of the certain things which is a minor tragedy and sometimes a major one.Generally that affects our ladies more than us but it can affect us as well if we are not careful.

I am talking self confidence really and advertising sets out to destroy that in order to get you to purchase things to restore what they have destroyed.Which it won't.

It is difficult to discuss because one has to be aware of the sensitivities of people who lack aspects of those certain things and can do little about them.A big nose for example or a degree of illiteracy which doesn't mix with,shall we say,what one would expect on a philosophy forum,or problems with hand eye co-ordination.

I am going on at length simply to stress that I am trying to look at those who have satisfactory levels of the certain things.Those who miss something would do well to work on what they have as a blind person often develops other senses more to compensate a little.

It is important that those who have the certain things develop a clear understanding of the position of those missing some parts as we all do when we meet a blind man.This provides for sympathy and tolerance.

So-influences.This is the fiendish part.

As Philip Larkin famously wrote-

"Thet f**k you up your Mum and Dad
They may not mean to but they do.
They give you all the things that they had
And some extras just for you.

This is an important poem in English culture as is Lawrence's

"Don't be a good little,good little boy,
Being as good as you can,
And agreeing with all the mealy mouthed,mealy mouthed truths that the sly trot out to protect themselves,
And the greedy mouthed,greedy mouthed cowardice.
Every old lout."

(punctuation from memory).

Writers as good as these two don't put stuff out just for the sake of it.They could do beta plus stuff all day and in their sleep as well.They were fully aware of their responsibilities.As I am I might add.
Dylan once said-"You can fry somebody's brain."
And he also said,as you must know-

"Look out kid,they keep it all hid."

Notice the kid in all three.

So be a kid.Never think you know much and look for advice from folks who are good which boils down to fame.Not new fame.That hasn't had time to have been filtered by the culture.If you can't imagine the book you're reading being in bookshops in 100 years you might as well forget it.
There's enough stuff that's 100 years old and more which will be around in 500 years if all goes well.

I don't know really.I'm painting here with a brush a foot wide.It is a massive subject.

Are there ground rules?

Maybe.

Humility.A sense of awe and wonder.Eclectic interests.Enthusiasm.Patience.Toleration.Knowing your limits.Having heroes.Diet.Reasonable fitness-nothing excessive.Avoid "I" as much as possible.

Gee EM-America might need a new educational system.
I'll explore it if you want to but I find short attention spans everywhere I look and they explore nothing.All these I's coming butting in with their take and no interest in listening.That fuss on Balderdash just showed me that people can hardly read and write.

It's a big subject and it's not for BGB's.They are going to have to shift for themselves I'm afraid.

And never forget that you are being judged by a no-nonsense judge.A conglomeration of CJ,devvie,firefly and Madame Lola von Bumpskins,the internationally renowned cundoctress,
to name just a few who spring to mind in alphabetical order.As Mailer once said-If you get plenty you must be doing something right.

That might be classed as a blurb.It's actually like painting the bridge over the Forth.

E.M.:-

I might add that I think that homosexuality is an avoidance of that judge referred to above and is about as "gay" as cold rain running down a ruined wall.

Re: Charmed



Don't know about ME, but one thing I saw happen once sticks in my mind as an example of charmed lives. I was driving North on I-95 between Richmond and Fredericksburg Va and I saw (about 3/4 of a mile in front of me) a car come over the dividing strip and hit another car head on so violently that both cars were lifted in the air and flipped over. Everybody involved should have died but, from all appearances, nobody was injured worse than scratches. There they all were shrieking and cursing at eachother and jumping up an down, and I didn't stick around long enough to see if the cops got there before it turned into a gang fight.

There actually seems to be such a thing as too drunk or too stupid to die.

Spendius,

Are you drunk?

Your aimless, pointless, lack lustre meanderings are as intransigent as your doubtless superiority in complete and utter matchless talent of being the archdeacon of pointless utterings of sheer lunacy. A thread should be appointed for yourself and Manhattan Lola to be able to wile away the hours talking about cuckoo clocks, iddy biddy bum bums, goddesses of little or no interest to those who prefer real women, and we must not omit the price of Wisconsin apples. By the way, Philip Larkin passed away a short while ago, as he was of our time, you should, out of respect and admiration for a good writer, place in brackets, either, deceased or RIP. I would thank you for your considerations towards my gentle words of advice and trust to view an improvement in your posts. Purely from an Englishman to an Englishman. At times, I read your posts and wince, as no doubt many American's imitate when they in turn read Drowler.

Mathos,

Thank you, sir, you are too kind!

Now, where were we?

Ah yaaaaas, regarding your ever so charmed life.....

I

I enjoyed your opener EM, I have had the great fortune to have experienced very similar circumstances. They are without doubt both unique and irreplaceable to the soul.

I remember some six years hence however, when I had sincere cause to reflect on my lifetime. You know, I consider we are all charmed. In simply being here.

Mathos:-

You are getting sentimental again old bean.

E.M.:-

Dung,dung,dung.(Tis a doleful tone at 13.10 GMT)

I ought yesterday to have mentioned "pacing".

It is necessary I believe to pace life in such a way that there is always something else just around the corner or possibly on the corner.

Mailer refers somewhere to "burn out".

It could be said of philosophers that they are experts in discovering new exciting variants to burned out fantasies but I am not sure if we should tell them that we know.

What's your take on that in not less than 200 words.

In descriptions of idyllic charm it is necessary to conjure the charm so that readers may share a little part of it.Your reaction to it,your very presence even ought not to be a factor.You might try to convey the utter beauty rather than expecting your reader to accept what is,after all,your subjective judgement which s/he might be resistant to.There is a description somewhere in my recesses of my darling Emily with her hand in a pool of crystal clear water allowing minnows to swim back and forth between her fingers whilst idly lost in mysterious reverie.An image of that nature has a power which far outweighs every assertion and not only does it give scope to the readers imagination but sticks in the mind forever.It is truly charming.

childhood- innocence

Aren't leading a charmed life and being charming two different entities?

Hm, don't know if I consider my life charmed, yet I always
know what I want and so far have gotten what I want.
That doesn't happen overnight or by accident, it is something
I either worked for or made the right decision when needed.

So, I wouldn't call it "charmed life" it something one reaps in
after making the effort.

And of course, I'm charming, that goes without saying

raheel:-

That is a little inscrutable.

If you mean that when childhood is gone,as it sadly has for me,charm goes with it,I don't agree.

If you mean something else perhaps you might explain further.

C.J.

For sure there is a difference.But a charming person is likely to lead a charmed life.And anyone who is fortunate enough to lead a charmed life has no excuse for not being charming.

Often one meets with people who have circumstances which constitute what most observers,especially third world observers,would call a charmed life but because they are not charming they fail to lead that charmed life except maybe superficially.One also meets people who can live in poor circumstances and get a charmed life simply because they are charming.

Those who have nice circumstances and are charming people have the most charmed life of all.
So while you are right in differentiating there is,I feel, a symbiosis.

Education is the key to being charming and the greatest criticism of both our educational systems is that it seems to be turning out less and less charming people.This might be deliberate if those who rule over us have decided that a society of charming people is a potential risk to our survival,which is a possibility bearing in mind the lack of charm in those who created our lifestyle,and that is not a risk people like us are pepared to take.Thus those with few charms should be understood in this light and maybe they might learn to be charming when they want to be and not so charming at other times.It is up to those with charm,as you say you have,and I don't doubt for one moment that you are right,to set a certain tone for them to see.A charming tone.

Marcel Proust is,to me,a fine example of a charming person and I have learned a great deal about how to be charming from him,zee luffeleey leetle vauryeeen,(I did that in French to amuse you-hopefully),which has been a good thing because I used to be somewhat lacking in the finer points charm myself.There were other factors of course but this is not the place to speak of them.

It not only takes effort CJ,it takes patience as well.Very considerable patience if you lack charm to the extent I did.When I think of all the fun I have missed by not being as charming as I might have been I almost begin sobbing.I say almost because I'm not so bloody charming to be able to sob yet.I have been told that I should sob if I feel like it and not to hold it all up inside but I just can't manage to be that charming as things stand.

What do you think,CJ,about men sobbing their little hearts out?

Ooooops-I thought I was on the daft questions channel.

Spendius,

Getting you now.

You've been holding back, dear chap. As I.

Open it up.

Its always a balance between saying the full thought that you're really feeling (which may take pages and pages)

or

Writing the cute one liner.

____

To put it another way Spendius:

Do you write for your audience,

or write from your true heart of hearts?
or do you (we) even know which it is?

Perhaps it changes. What is your take on that in 400 words or less.

E.M.:-

That is a most interesting question.

Unfortunately I am shortly about to take a break from threading and will be back at around,roughly,depending on certain things unlikely though they are,2pmEMT or 5pm CJT.(I think).

If I am able to give this matter some thought during the forthcoming interval and come to a conclusion on it I'll inform you at the earliest possible time.

(Stumps off pondering!)

Have fun at the pub...

Yes, I agree. Its interesting.

If I write from my heart of hearts (assuming we know where that is), people often say "what the hell are you talking about, I do not get it."

So I end up watering it down some, and making it more accessible, and putting it a one-liner that is accessible, but doesn't really capture the true meaning.

So its interesting on a lot of levels.

Just one level being: If you write something is watered down so that the reader can understand it, but it really is just a weak approximation of what you really wanted to communicate,

is that "better" than (assume we can leave "better" for now to keep this brief)

is the above shorthand one liner
better than

writing the reader one or two pages of what you really feel, but they cannot comprehend it, or only comprehend perhaps 15% of it?

Well thats just one level of the aspects of this question. I'm sure you can ponder 88 more.

Have a drink for me, and smile