Critque my poem please!

I was going to comment but it will do no good so there really isn't any point now, is there?

well thanks anyways bella but right now wut I dont need is someone telling me I should work on something or that I am an immature person cuz I am not at a point in my life where I need 2 hear those things my life is really bad right now and I am about to turn into a person I dont want to be but yea go ahead and keep commenting the way you are I am sure its a lot of help to me and u know wut I didnt even have to post my poem on here you people are just lucky you get to read it

I am sorry you are having a bad time in your life but that is no reason to take it out on other people. People who are willing to help you better yourself as a writer. No artist thinks their work never needs tweaking. Do you think that Mozart whipped out every concerto or sonota right the first time? Or Edgar Allen Poe, getting his tremendous poetry and prose done in one draft? Come on.

All I am saying, if you'd stop whining long enough to listen is if you didn't want to hear criticism then you shouldn't have asked for it.

Maybe I am being harsh (as I am sure some other members will say) but sometimes people need to be reminded that they are not victims. You make your own way and decide the kind of person you want to be. Anyone who relinquishes the right to choose their path deserves what they get out of life.

And on a final note, if you are unhappy and in a bad place, please seek help. No one here wants to see you unhappy. And if you want to get out of this rut, you might need to make the decision to get help.

And if it makes you feel better, please feel free to critique my poems. I have no problem taking it.

Poetry

Another thing to remember, jangel, is that some of us on the forum have been there and done that on a whole lot of the issues you are now dealing with. We don't have any axes to grind. So keep on posting and see what happens.

no thank you I am done talking to you!

What a mature attitude! You must be what, 12?

Yeh we already established this... see page 1

you wanted a critique - I do think there are emotions in your poem, however, should you want it to tough the people reading it - you need to work on the poem quality.

Better watch it rossy......there isn't a big reception to criticism in this thread. :wink:

ok well ummm I am not really a good writer and I understand that all I want is for someone to say my poem is good for a beginner I am not trying to make a writing career or even be super good at writing so yea I just wanna hear someone say its good for someone who really doesnt like writing....I HATE writing poetry and essays and stuff and I cant see how people take joy in it so yea just tell me its good for a beginner and get on w/ your lives!

yea I know I didnt punctuate this response at all but get over it some of us have better things to do then to punctuate things correctly...

Keep being yourself. I'm glad to see you back.

We aren't going to lie to you.