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How do she get out of personality Triangle?

 
 
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 06:23 am
Jasmin is a girl who kinda angry, rude but in person she has a clean heart, she loves to meet and talk with people. She also has soft corners and care for others.

She is funny too but because of her rude nature sometimes people abuse, insult, bad comments on her and then they leave her.

Here’s the problem shows up. She is afraid of loosing people. She thinks that she showed and put effort for them but they didn’t care. Now Jasmin starts getting angry and rude again.

Its a Triangle. She is living inside a triangle. Now the question is how do she get out of this Triangle?

Points to consider:
1. Her nature is being angry, rude.
2. By heart she is very soft and she loves people.
3. She is afraid of loosing cause it makes her cry and regret feeling.
4. She is funny.
5. Then she behaves rude and angry

I have been going though a serious confusion. I am looking for the answer of this question.
I appreciate your time and effort

Thank you.
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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 286 • Replies: 11

 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 09:07 am
@gshankar165,
She's overly sensitive yet also careless with others' feelings.

She sounds like a project. You do not have to fix her. You can walk away.
0 Replies
 
gshankar165
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 11:16 am
Thank you @jespah. I understand.
I can walk away from her but i cant from myself.

I had kinda same situations a year ago.
I started compromising with my feelings and respect other feelings, caring for them. Then people started loving me more and now i am happy too. I am the most funniest guy around.

Later on i met this girl. We became best friends in sort time. It is a coincidence that we have exactly common type of feelings, situations. I saw myself in her.
I found out that she is at the same stage a year before i was. Rude, angry, careless, over sensitive.
If I am not wrong when we meet someone exactly like us, we care for her/him, we do not want loose her/him from our life.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 11:29 am
@gshankar165,
Jes didn't suggest you walk away from yourself.

Stop making this about you and whatever your past was/is.

It's not your job to mold her.

Maybe if people walk away from her when they get to know her, they're not worth it anyway. There are plenty of people in the world that understand the "hard on the outside, soft on the inside" type of person. She doesn't need to pretend to be anyone she isn't.

0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 12:35 pm
@gshankar165,
gshankar165 wrote:


I started compromising with my feelings and respect other feelings, caring for them. Then people started loving me more and now i am happy too.



BTW, the same goes for you.

Are you happy, or are you just telling yourself you are because you're now playing the game?

It's fine to respect others feelings, but not always the best course of action. Especially when it comes at the price of your own feelings being compromised and made less important.

Besides, why should one person be willing to compromise their feelings, but not the others?
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gshankar165
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 02:23 pm
Thank you for trying helping me out.
Actually i did not mention that I compromise for everyone. I do have my sense to do what for whom. Now things like i know when to get angry/rude, i can understand situations.

My mind says that move on, but my heart does not agree with it. My experience tells me to listen to the heart. Thats why i ended up here asking for experienced people view.
I am expecting an answer that convince me that all those happening around are good and will be fine. The answer could help both of us.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 02:35 pm
@gshankar165,
And.........I never said you compromise for “everyone”.

Your saying you’re looking for an answer to convince you (of what I’m not sure, something about “ all those happening around will be good” I take to essentially mean you don’t want to hear and aren’t going to pay any attention to the fact you really have no business in telling anyone how to run their lives.

Your heart is a muscle in your body that pumps your blood around. It doesn’t tell you anything. Your brain is looking for excuses to butt into someone else’s business.
gshankar165
 
  0  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 02:44 pm
Okay. All right @chai2.

Things getting more messy here.
Just tell me what exactly is the solution from your perspective?

Thank you.
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 02:51 pm
@gshankar165,
You’re kidding, right?

The solution is leave this situation alone. It’s none of your business.

That is the only thing both responders have said to you.
0 Replies
 
gshankar165
 
  0  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 07:53 pm
There might be some other angles for it.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 08:03 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:



Your saying you’re looking for an answer to convince you (of what I’m not sure, something about “ all those happening around will be good” I take to essentially mean you don’t want to hear and aren’t going to pay any attention to the fact you really have no business in telling anyone how to run their lives.



Troll
0 Replies
 
gshankar165
 
  0  
Reply Sat 13 Apr, 2019 10:03 pm
May be you guys are right. But i would prefer to wait some more time. If things not as expected, i ll move on.

Thanks anyway.
0 Replies
 
 

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