SCoates wrote:You're on the list. I'll make a third thread for preliminaries before May 4th.
My I assume that I will be listed on this third thread, SCoates?
The Love & Beauty ticket is surely a winner. Who wouldn't prefer it? Does anyone want to be unloved and ugly?
(I am NOT naming names.)
Vote for Slappy.
If you don't, I will finish you.
Having to resort to threatening people to get votes now, Slappy?
That is so sad.
A vote for Slappy wont make you happy
A vote for Gus brings too much fuss
Dont be a wuss dont be so crappy
Be your own boss and vote for Soz!
Do it for the sheep. You know it makes sense.
<total giggle fit>
See! A vote for Gus is a vote for the lawless infidels!!!! You WANT to make them happy, don't you? You WANT to show them that you have no spine and will waft wherever the politically correct winds blow you, right?
[size=7]Oh wait I'm supposed to have integrity, aren't I?
That's no fun.[/size]
Hey guys, that's fine. Don't vote for me.
However, if anyone wins over me, I will finish them.
Ah, I see things are going well in the poll now. Soz at 6, Gus at 4. <smiles serenely>
"Love and Beauty Party" actually a cult, Insiders say
Staff writer, AP News service
Recent allegations have cast doubts over the credibility and integrity of the so-called "Love and Beauty Party", which has been gaining momentum on the ballots lately in A2K pre-election campaigning.
Tapes of private phone conversations between senior members of the party reportedly contain details of cult behavior, including discussions about the sacrificing of live pigs, ritualistic necrophilial "chocolate orgies" every friday night at midnight, and allegations of kidnapping and torture.
Other allegations have been made recently, which are currently being investigated. Herbert Cloen, an envelope stuffer from Peoria, Illinois allegedly worked for them for a day, but when he saw the inner workings of the organization, decided to leave. He spoke to Eva, one of the groups founding members, about the situation, and according to Mr. Cloen, that is when the campaign of "torture, humiliation, regularly scheduled beatings, and brainwashing" began.
"It's a cult, as sure as I'm sitting here right now", said Mr. Cloen in a statement released moments ago. "Those Love and Beauty People are just plain Kooks!"
Eva, a spokesperson and founding member of the group, told reporters in response to the allegations, "Aaaw, go f*ck yourselves! I'm busy trying trick these stupid sheep into voting for me!"
The Love and Beauty Party is also loosely affiliated with Soz, who is leading the polls in her districts by a slim margin over her closest rival, Gustavratzenhoefer.
As I am following PROPER time, it is 8.40pm here <burp>...oooh, thats better, and I have just finished <parp> ,,,excuse me, I have just finished a Chicken Tikka Masala <freeeeep> Sag Aloo, Bombay Aloo <belch> pardon, three colour Pilau Rice, Peshwari Nan <hic> and a large bottle of Tanglefoot Bitter.
< F-F-F R-R-A-A-A-A-P-P-P-P >
Hold on a jiffy...back in a mo.....I've got a bit of a crisis in the old trouser department.
SORRY!
Spanky is clearly out. Flatulence is a major turn-off
for any party.
Vote for Love & Beauty instead!!
If I win, I'll get Ted Nugent to play "The Star Spangled Banner" at the inauguration.
Who cares!
IF we win, we'll spread love around
AAAHH! Thats a weight off my mind. If the tide is right, that will reach Boston by Thursday.
Now, where was I....buggered if I remember really!
But whatever it was, it was JOLLY important, and ended up by saying "Vote GKE", as recommended by all good Dentists.
" You wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent " (sponsors of the GKE campaign)
Campaign Manager Arrested on Ethics Charges
(AP) NEW YORK CITY -- Today at 4 p.m. EST, agents of the A2K Election Board, assisted by officials of the Associated Press, stormed the headquarters of the gustavratzenhofer/kickycan/Lord Ellpus campaign and arrested its manager and press spokesman, kickycan. Multiple counts of ethics violations were cited.
Heavily armed A2K agents interrupted the campaign manager as he was attempting to hijack the AP wire service to distribute malicious and misleading information about political rivals, the Love & Beauty Party. An insider tip was credited with giving A2K the precise whereabouts of the nefarious kickycan, who was reported to have been overheard planning the scheme with his fellow party members, Ellpus and ratzenhofer. Kickycan was apprehended after a short but violent burst of gunfire which injured two AP officials. The campaign manager was seriously wounded by a gunshot to the head. He was taken to the nearest hospital where he remains in critical but stable condition, under heavy guard. Attending doctors have indicated that he will be under constant observation for the next few days, as paranoia and incoherent ramblings are to be expected with this type of head injury. They hope to limit his contact with the outside world while they administer heavy doses of opiate-derived medications in order to control his condition. A hospital press conference is scheduled for 10 a.m. tomorrow.
Spokesmen for the Love & Beauty Party declined to comment on the arrest, but their leader, Eva, released the following statement: "We wish to clarify previously printed reports relating to our party. We have no ties to any cult organizations, nor have we ever been associated with any person or group that believes in ritualistic sacrifice, necrophilia, kidnapping or torture. Mr. Herbert Cloen was dismissed from our employ once it was discovered that he had secret ties to several right-wing Christian evangelical organizations that are opposed to our Friday night chocolate orgies. Our thoughts and best wishes are with kickycan at this difficult time. While we are saddened by his recent allegations against us, we wish him the best and hope for his speedy recovery."
Let us raise our glasses
Ours is the orbit
Vote for party of masses
Eva, Dag, and Wabbit
Bella Dea, Cee Jay
Each is proud and royal
All wimmins round the world say:
U all rock, hey y'all!
Truth we do represent
You know else you'd resent!
I vote that all the hot women wear less clothing.
that would be us, the LOVE and BEAUTY and fast cars party!
cj, after you've cast your vote, your wish shall
be granted.
Hey, I like the addition "....and fast cars" dagmar.
