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Wed 20 Apr, 2005 10:57 am
Ok, so I haven't written anything in a long long time....not sure why...but I've critiqued a few poems and so I feel that I must put myself out there too. It's only fair. So...be gentle.
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Angie
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Her smile was like sunshine,
bright and life giving
to everyone she met.
She held my heart
like she held my hand;
tightly, protective,
as though it was made
of porcelain.
I didn't ask her for much
but she gave ten times
what she took
and I never stopped her.
That was her way.
Her eyes were blue
and young but
reflected something old,
like wisdom or life.
She never questioned why,
trusted in God and fate,
even when it started
to take her body.
She would lay there,
her hair spread like spun
sunshine over the pillow,
her eyes smiling
even if her lips weren't.
She whispered that she'd
never leave me
even though
we both knew that she would.
And when her skin turned
grey, and her beautiful hair
couldn't cover the pillow anymore
I'd sit and read to her.
For hours,
we'd sit,
her mind steady
even though her body was weak.
I could almost feel her
arms around me
when she embraced me
with her eyes;
eyes that should have
reflected 20
instead of 85
and should never have known
cancer.
On the occasion
that she would speak
she'd tell me
through tear rimmed eyes
that she'd never leave me,
even though
we both knew that she would.
And when was too tired
to sit up anymore,
too tired to open her eyes,
I would sing to her.
I sang for my soul
and hers as well.
My composure was fading
as quickly as her body
and I fought against
an enemy I couldn't see.
I wanted her to see me again,
wanted to see her,
know life and babies
and a husband
and a home.
But she never would
and no song was enough
to keep that from ripping
out my heart.
On Saturday I sat,
without a book,
without a song,
listening to the silence.
It was in these moments
that time took it's hold on me,
aged me 50 years
and brought to me what she
had known all along.
I took her hand
and she squeezed it,
so slightly.
Perhaps she knew
what I was thinking.
I closed my eyes
and sat there beside her,
knowing that I had to let go.
Knowing that she was ready.
And then
for the first time in 2 months,
she opened her eyes
and spoke.
"I will be with you, always."
I choked on my tears
as I felt her leave.
We buried her that September,
on a cloudy fall day,
in a plot she had asked me to
pick out for her.
I laid white roses on her casket.
I smiled, in spite of the tears
and felt my shoulders relax.
I knew she was looking down
on me,
because I could feel the warmth
of the sun on my face.
K.M.H
4-20-05
Edited: Spelling
Bella, that was a very soul searching poem and a profound tribute to someone you love.
I see every word you said, my friend, because I have been where you have been, but even had I not, I would still feel the words.
Thank you, Letty.
Just a side note, as I think about it....
I am still open to critique. I should have mentioned that despite the content, I was willing to accept criticism. :wink:
Bella, my dear. When I read through a poem once for the total effect and nothing seems "unsaid" I would not for the world undo your words.
This isn't necessarily a critique, but you might want to change "..smiling through the tears...." to say something a little less used. Perhaps, "...smiling with tears?"
#2 -- Not sure where I am with this one. Comments? Critique?
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Track Record
Five
Ten
Twenty three.....
Here we go again.....
My undetermined worth
to someone
but I just can't figure out
who
in a city of 8 million plus.
So put the track shoes
back on
to run the lonely mile
and smile,
smile.
I cross the finish line
in a blur
only to have
to start over
again.
Soldier
This might be the last time
we say goodbye
so don't
cry
but smile
and remember
that we had today
and will always have
yesterday.
Bella that first poem made me cry. I can relate to it, and you did a beautiful job putting it into words.
"On Saturday I sat,
without a book,
without a song,
listening to the silence"
Our family lost a family member, and she was only three, and a half years old. I will never get over it. I learned so much from that little angel. She truly showed me the strength of the human spirit.
AngeliqueEast wrote:Bella that first poem made me cry. I can relate to it, and you did a beautiful job putting it into words.
"On Saturday I sat,
without a book,
without a song,
listening to the silence"
Our family lost a family member, and she was only three, and a half years old. I will never get over it. I learned so much from that little angel. She truly showed me the strength of the human spirit.
I am glad that it touched you.
And remember that you never have to "get over" losing someone. You just get used to not having them around.
Whew, long time no post....
No title yet for this one. Still perfecting it.
____________________________
Together in a room
but you're in another world
and I can't find the words
to ask you how your day was
and I wonder if you'd even
tell me if I could.
I can see your eyes
staring blankly at the wall
and I don't know
if you're thinking or
if you've slipped back to that
place that I'm not allowed to go.
What is it that keeps you from seeing me?
Why can't you just look up
and say to me
"I love you"?
Do you even understand
when I tell you?
You suddenly turn and I think
for one moment that
this is the day you speak
but you just pick up your tablet
and begin to write.
I know I've lost you again.
The walls close in on me
and evening sets in on
another lonely day,
trapped between the real world
and the one in your mind.
Ok, edited this one.
_______________________________________
Track Record
Five
Ten
Twenty three.....
Here we go again,
another love
another f*ck
One is the same
as the other.
I have this
undetermined worth
to someone
but I just can't figure out
who
in a city of 8 million plus.
So put the track shoes
back on
to run the lonely mile
and smile,
smile
over drinks
and then again
on the morning walk home.
I close my eyes
against tears,
my life
a blur.
Self worth seems
worthless
in a city all alone.
wow
i absolutly love that first poem
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