Women of a certain age.

Thank you so much for letting me into your lives. Since I'm gong through such an emotional time in my life, it's wonderful to read your thoughts. I too am looking forward to a time when I am more secure with myself and can be free to do what pleases me. I returned to school this year to finally get my teaching degree. I have gained more confidence in the last few months than I have in years. (I hadn't realized I could keep up with the kids.) I'm over 40 now with 3 children, my youngest being 7. Thank you for brightening my day.

Claire--

Welcome to A2K. We're glad to have you.

Claire, welcome to a2k and to this thread. It is so much more satisfying to read the posts of all different ages and those of men. I do hope the men arent' scared off.

Noddy--so glad you joined us. Don't you love how women can just sit and talk, no matter the age range or the setting?

Claire, you must know you aren't alone with emotional trouble. Personally, I don't know anyone who hasn't gone through some terribly serious emotional periods--and periods in the plural. It doesn't seem possible to get through life without some pretty bad scars and bruises.

I was a very slow learner. There are times when I could kick myself for not getting out sooner and actually setting my own course. Then, I realize that it happened when it did because I was ready at that time. I'm just so grateful that it happened at all. I had started to become a little numb in order to not think about what I wanted as an individual human being. It's never too late.

Noddy, I agree with you about the Red Hat Society. The group aspect is a little off-putting.

Me too. It amused me the first time I read about it. Now I am a little chary of wearing my one red hat, which I admit to not purchasing but getting from a pal. But that is part of my problem or a good attribute - which? - I am not much of a joiner.

ossobuco- I am a bit of a loner myself. I joined a Red Hat Society in order to meet more women at my stage of life,.............................and boy, was I bored. All they did was go out to lunch together in those ridiculous outfits. I dropped that one.

Recently, I joined another Red Hat group, because they seemed better organized, and had a lot of different activities. I have yet to go to one of their functions.

I think that it has finallly gotten into my head that I am NOT a joiner!

Phoenix and Osso, I share your thoughts about joining. I have tried many such ways to meet up with the larger world and each has failed. I still like one-on-one friendship and companionship better than anything else, but as we grow older, it is more difficult to find and make such attachments. The internet has been a savior for people who tend to live inside their heads.

Ha, Noddy! That rang true as soon as I read it.

Hi claire! Another burgeoning crone I see....

Interesting, I'm not a joiner either. I've been an active 'friend' at my church for 9 years now and joined last month because I've been asked to be on the church council and you must be a member for that position. To me join has always been a four letter word.

Kara- A few years ago, there was a woman who kept inviting me to do different things. She was extremely intelligent, and had a lot of strong idea on many subjects. She was into wildlife, like I am, and knew of may obscure places in the area to see birds.

The problem was, that she loved to play "scoutmaster". Her idea of a good time was to gather together as many women as she could, and all go together, in a group. She was the one who took over as to where the group would go. I found that very wearying. I too, much prefer going with one, or at the most, two other women.

After I turned her down about a half dozen times, I think that she got the hint.

Phoenix
After retiring (leaving lifelong friends and family behind) and moving from California to New Mexico (where I knew no one), I've found one of the best places to meet the kind of people who would most interest me has been education classes.

I've been taking classes for two years from The Albuquerque Center for Lifelong Learning. The people attending are largely life-long students with active minds, curiousity, and interest in the world outside of themselves. I've made several good friends among them and they have broadened my world.

It also helps to entice A2Kers to move to Albuquerque. It seems there is a small migration underway.

BBB

What a delightful thread! I'm 43 now, and SO much happier than I've ever been before... I would not have dreamed it was possible for me to change so completely. I smell flowers, now. I watch birds. I look for little mushrooms in the yard after a good rain.

When I was in my teens, my mother, in a rare moment of honesty, told me she would not go through her teenage years again for anything, she hated it so. I completely agree.

In my case, my (very close) sister was killed in a car accident when I was 17, leaving me devastated until I was around 25 or so. When I was 30, my other sister killed herself. Personally it never occurred to me I would live this long, given the fate of my siblings. I feel I'm on bonus time, already outlasting them both by a good many years.

I don't wear make-up any more. I wore it for almost 20 years in corporate life. It's such a joy to just wash my face in the morning, brush my hair, dress comfortably, and get about my life.

Around 9-10 years ago I decided to please myself (alone) with my clothing. I wear really long skirts with boots and as much needlework as possible. I wear hats to keep my hair from flying around in the car (the hats are never red). I carry a backpack purse to balance the weight on both shoulders. I no longer own any shoes that hurt. Even blue-jeans are too uncomfortable for me, after big loose skirts.

In short, I now please myself, and am delightfully free from all the angst I used to feel about what others think of me. What a joy! I look forward to even further freedom in future years.

I'm actually looking forward to menopause.... anyone else feel that way around this age? I've been menstruating since I was 11, and frankly (since I never wanted children) I could have done without it entirely.

In short, I've been happier in the last few years than I ever dreamed possible, despite the fact that I'm poorer (in a financial sense only) than I've ever been.

Hello BK, long time no see. I'm almost looking forward to menopause. Almost because, although I'm looking forward to it, I'm afraid that once it happens it won't be what I think it's going to be. I guess I'm saying it's a case of the devil you know vs the one you don't.

I too like long skirts, loose dresses and hats. Particularly when I'm on a long car ride. They're just so much more comfortable. Jeans and sweaters are my normal outfit though.

Oh yeah. 37 years of annoyance, and counting, here.

The Curse of Eve is a limited punishment. Men sweat from puberty until they day they die.

Yes!
Freedom! It's such a relief, isn't it, BK?

During the '50's there was something called the Empty Nest Syndrome. Women wept at being Home Alone. A related malady--alsopeculiar to women and diagnosed by men--was The Menopause.

During The Menopause every woman was forced by the ebbing of the flow to contemplate and come to grips with the unpalatable fact that she could no longer bear children and therefore was diminished in value.

We've come a long way, Baby.

I wouldn't say I'm looking forward to menopause, my periods are not such a big deal. I have an older friend who just paid $2000 to have her "menopause mustache" removed. I remember an elderly aunt, who had hair growing out of strange places on her face, saying: "that's what happens to old ladies, it either turns gray, falls out or migrates". Old age happens, but loss of estrogen is no picnic.

Hello, ladies! Sorry I haven't checked in on this thread sooner.

I'm not looking forward to losing any more estrogen, although I'm more than ready for the periods to stop. I'm skipping months here and there now, and when I do have one, it's worse than what I used to call "usual." So I'm ready to stop this nonsense. Except for the estrogen. Why can't I have it both ways? <frowning>

BBB, Yes there are some Cronies there...

I've often wondered where the name Albuquerque came from. It must be native American but parts of it sound French.

In 1706, the present site of the city was settled and named after the Duke of Albuquerque, viceroy of New Spain. The first 'r' was eventually dropped, but the city is still nicknamed 'Duke City'