Wed 31 Oct, 2018 08:49 am
Dear Forums expert , Am Denis Arop humbly seeking your professional correction into my essay, intended to be presented to Chevening Scholarship award. I am aware that you people have a busy schedule but i hope you will be able to help me out. Thanks
Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.
(minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)
Over couple of years, while growing through level of leadership of influence within the family leadership, Universities, Community and Professional association, I learned and developed influencing skill that has helped me stood out of the crown to make positive influences at personal and at the institutional level that I have represented.
I strongly remembers in the year 2007, when I participated as National Organizing committee of the Commonwealth youth Forum I made an influence on the decision of committee to slot in 5dalegate instate of 3dalegates from Northern Uganda to the attend the meeting. Citing reason of being the most affected region by the LRA conflict to be represented at the meeting, while seeking to influence the decision, I had to clearly articulate the numbers of youth in the region, raising the issues of regional balance as well as using the opportunity to speak on the plight of youth affected by conflict in Africa while citing the Lord Resistance Army conflict. As leaders representing youth civil society organization from Northern Uganda, I had to take advantage of the weekly UNOCHA meeting to gather more support to influence the decision , that was later made possible. While I was the student’s Guild President at Gulu University, my leadership period was faced with a lot of industrial action by lectures and university’s non teaching staff. The university lectures at the point I was entering my term of office resolved to lay down their tools, refusing to administer exams to students citing delay in salary payment as well as their extra load pay. To exhibit my leadership ability to mange crisis as well as influencing decision for positive action , I quickly sat down my guild ministers to apply my political inelegancy of Networking to build social capital, including joining strategically, Thinking before responding, considering context and goals before deciding when and how to express our self, Paying close attention to nonverbal cues, practicing active listening, considering how administration might feel, and finding ways to appeal to the common good.
I realize that building and maintaining trust is essential for leading victimizes students and the unhappy lectures in the situation. Without trust, I would have forced the students, disgruntle lectures to comply negatively, they would have not tap the full commitment, capabilities, and creativity I was offering. I appreciate their vulnerability and inspire them, understood them, supported them, and guided them through the looming chaos.
The most important influential skill I developed was recognizing and cultivating the power of networks. When I notice that the issues of lectures and university administration were increasingly becoming dynamic. I resolved to tape into my networks of Guild Presidents of other university seeking for advices of how to handle students to keep calm, at the same time taping into the network of local Districts leaders and Areas members of parliament for their intervention. The goal for networking was to inform and influence others in position of authenticity to address the university council to respond. With all the above political intelligence, maintaining trust, using network of influence, commitment, inspiring to pursue dialogue, with clear focused of beneficial common gold, we made an influences to changed the decision of the lectures, administration was influence to make part payment as they wait for more revenue of the university to be transfer by the government and from Student collections. With the above tested experience and exposure I expect to gain from UK after my graduate study, I hope to be a better future leaders and influences in Uganda
Is this intended to be written in English? It looks as though it has been through Google Translate.
This is very poorly written. Do you know about verb conjugations? Articles? Prepositions? All of these are taught (or at least they should
be) in any language class, not just English. This is an essay so it's got to be formal. That means, for example, the verb to remember
. In present tense, it's always remember
at the end) unless you're having it agree with the third person single: he, she, or it.
You wrote: I strongly remembers.
is incorrect. See?
And that is only one of several errors riddled throughout your essay.
The language is also odd, and I agree that it appears as if it went through Google translate. Much of what you have written is not idiomatic English and, therefore, is not understandable to a native speaker.
Talk to your English teacher if you have not already. Explain to him or her what you are trying to do. Work together to write an essay in correct, formal English, which is easy for the scholarship committee to understand.
Remember: if they don't understand your essay, they are not going to award you any money. It is in your own best interests to make this essay as correct as you can.
Best of luck to you.