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Should I wish my ex best friend on her graduation?

 
 
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 01:27 pm
So I’ve been friends with this girl for two years during our college years. InJune she suddey stopped talking to me. She’s done it 3 times now. The first 2 I talked to her first but the 3rd time I realised it was uselessand she was getting used to doing that. She wouldnt be brave enough to face the problem she would run away and then wait for me to go after her and solve it.
Anyways we are going to graduate in a few days. I will first and she will graduate one day after I do. I feel I should send her a nice bouquet of flowers and a small gift to wish her all the best but then I think I shouldnt. She stopped talking, my graduation is one day before hers and if she doesnt even send a message to congratulate me then why should I? But then again I think I should send those things to her and be calm with myself even though Im scared ill get angry at myself for doing it. Hope you got the point cause I cant even describe it im too messed up. What do you think I should do?
 
roger
 
  3  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 01:55 pm
@Register123,
Don't. It won't be good for you, and it won't be good for her.
Register123
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 01:57 pm
@roger,
Why not? The reason I wanna do it is because we spent college years together and couldnt wait for this day. I truly wish the best for her and I want her to know that
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 02:03 pm
@Register123,
How about just sending her a nice card with a note in it?

For something like that a nice thought is all that is really needed.
Register123
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 02:06 pm
@Linkat,
Do you think is the right thing to do? I dont eant her to think Im weak or to feel bothered I just want her to feel appreciated and propably even realise she shouldnt have acted that way I deserved a closure at the very least
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 02:37 pm
@Register123,
Yes I think this is appropriate - I think giving a gift could make for an uncomfortable situation - but sending a nice card with a note telling her pretty much what you said here is completely appropriate. But leave the feelings of "she shouldn't have acted that way."

Saying along the lines of what you enjoyed with her in college (the good stuff when you supported each other) and then concluding with congratulations - and you wish her future success.

That would give you closure without being "mean" but showing you did appreciate the good stuff and you leave with no bad feelings.

There is nothing weak about that -- showing appropriate appreciation -- it shows a certain strength actually.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 03:46 pm
@Register123,
Register123 wrote:

Do you think is the right thing to do? I dont eant her to think Im weak or to feel bothered I just want her to feel appreciated and propably even realise she shouldnt have acted that way I deserved a closure at the very least


This says this is all about you, and not at all about her.

You can wish her the best....privately.

I’m sure there is much more to the break up of your friendship than you are saying here. I really don’t care what the story is. Neither does she anymore.

Sending her flowers, or even a note, is only going to annoy her, and make her wish you’d give it a rest already. Don’t use an unrelated event, such as this to make another unwelcomed attempt.

You need to move on. She has.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 05:07 pm
@chai2,
Jesus, I just found this thread you started a week or 2 ago....

https://able2know.org/topic/477954-1#post-6716737

Seriously, leave her alone.

You're kinda being a stalker.

You want to "show her", and let her know she can't get away with something, giving a lot of thought to her.

She's not even thinking about you.

The drama is all on your side.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 06:48 pm
@roger,
roger wrote:

Don't. It won't be good for you, and it won't be good for her.


I agree with Roger.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 06:51 pm
@Register123,
She wants to be done with you. Please leave her alone.

Move on with your life.

Get counselling if you are unable to move on without support.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Oct, 2018 06:53 pm
@Register123,
Register123 wrote:
I just want her to feel appreciated and propably even realise she shouldnt have acted that way I deserved a closure at the very least


no

she doesn't owe you anything

leave her alone
0 Replies
 
Carly Swinson
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 3 Oct, 2018 04:34 am
It seems you are still attached to her. If you think she may feel the same about you the go ahead give it a go.
0 Replies
 
 

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