Which items should astronauts bring with them to Mars?

Christo and Jeanne-Claude can go to hell with their lazy one note art projects.

As an unauthentic critic, I don't consider such a project to be art, unless stuff like house painting and sandblasting could also be so classified. It takes about the same amount of effort and talent.

What happens it we learn that Mars is hell?

Death Valley is more hospitable than Mars.

...and a hell of a lot closer. Not far from Vegas where you can have far better entertainment, so I hear.

If we're allowed to smoke in Mars I'll need 50 cartons of Winstons...

...better make that an even million along with the ingredients for black bean stew.

I forgot to mention hedge clippers, ricearoni, and chopsticks.

Fritos corn chips
Extra power wifi routers

The London Symphony Orchestra.

Potbelly stove, a jar of guava jelly, A/C window unit.

No need for a.c. on Mars. The average is -85°F (-65°C)
Feeling warm? Just pop open a window.

I know more than one person that runs the A/C 24 7 every day of the year. I believe in being prepared. But I will add wool socks to my list.

And some extra propane tanks!

Along with some electrical heaters an will blankets...

A slide rule because we might need time to make iPhones
A saw and a measuring tape so we can build barracks, oops, I mean dwellings
A few copies of MAD Magazine, so we know the difference between dopes and sane people.
A few recordings of Peggy Lee, Artie Shaw, and the Beatles to anchor ourselves about the importance of music
Good Night Mrs. Calabash, where ever you are.....

M, my, my ... talk about bringing back wonderful old musical chestnuts. Then there’s the reference to Jimmy Durante. What will those 30-somethings think? Of course there aren’t any here, for the most part. Time to go over to my turntable to flip over my 78-rpm vinyl now. Gosh, that Victrola sure is the bees-knees.

Robbie the Robot
A Plasticman comic book
The Library of Congress

Hmmm...

Let's also get and bring the entire The Sad Sack comic book collection.

We can't just bring Sad Sack. Got to have Real Screen Comics also.

diamond stickpin
Mr potatohead
3 bowties

How about some zippy music?

Lyrics
Clean shirt, new shoes
And I don't know where I am goin' to
Silk suit, black tie,
I don't need a reason why
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
Gold watch, diamond ring,
I ain't missin' not a single thing
Cufflinks, stick pin,
When I step out I'm gonna do you in
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
Top coat, top hat,
And I don't worry 'cause my wallet's fat
Black shades, white gloves,
Lookin' sharp lookin' for love
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Frank Beard / Billy Gibbons / Dusty Hill
Sharp Dressed Man lyrics © BMG Rights Management