Friends never contact me?

Hi. I`m Anna. I'm German so I might have some grammar or spelling mistakes in this text, please don't judge me too hard for them. My problem has already cost me several friends. I have a handful of friends, but I've never been contacted by any of them first. When I contact them, they're always happy and don't seem to dislike me in any way, but it has already happened that I haven't texted or called them for an entire month and I heard nothing. I've lost more than three friends already, one of which I was in love with. It doesn't change the value of friendship for me when not seeing each other for a month, but I know that some other people would quit the friendship when not seeing each other for a longer time. I understand that being the first one to message the other and being greeted with a very positive feedback lets one feel useful, but not getting ANYTHING, EVER makes me feel like people might like me, but I'm not even close to their first choice when doing something together.
I'm not sure if I should ask my friends about this, and if I should I don't know what to say. Can you help me?