Can someone help me find Biological father?

I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be frustrating.

Obviously, they are all trying to shield you or protect you from this "information" and it's doing the opposite of its intention. Adults have been known to do that to children.

(A friend of mine and sister were prevented from going to her brother's funeral (all under age 13) because her parents didn't want her to go through it. Messed her up for years to come. )

Here's what I would ask of the person who probably knows:

Is there any health issue(s) that I should be aware of that could have been inherited?

Why was this information kept from me all these years?

How is it that everyone knows, except me? Why are other's feelings more important than mine?

Who would be affected if I have this information?

Is this an issue so large that others would be hurt if I knew?

I am going to counseling. Will you follow the advice and guidance of a professional counselor along with me?

*****

Try to approach this calmly. You need to bring in an advocate (counselor or other family member) in with you at this time. Good luck.

I have no one to ask. that's the issue.

She means you need to ask your mother and the rest of your family these questions.

By the way - FYI - when paternity is hidden like this it often means the father is:

• In jail
  
• Dead
  
• A close relative (e. g. you're the product of incest)
  
• A rapist
  
• One of a parade of men, either from your mother sleeping with more than one guy at the same time, or even group sex

Not always, mind you, but when the family clams up like this, it tends to be for a reason, and the ones I've listed are the most common ones.

There is no excuse. What your mother is doing to you by lying and withholding information is awful.

There is no conceivable reason for a mother to lie to her child who is an adult. And there is no reason for her to do this that isn't selfish. In my opinion, your mother owes you the truth. At this point, as an adult, she is not protecting you. She is protecting herself. I would be furious at her.

That being said, I don't know if there is much you can do... you can go public. Post your name, your age and your mother's name and ask for information for anyone who might know. You have to be a little careful due to privacy, but I don't think you have any other choice.

Good luck.