My Baby Dog

I too am sorry to be late with my condolences, Boots was a good girl. Beyond that, you've done right by her down the line. Look after yourself.

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Thanks all.....

I don't have the luxury to be too easy on myself. I had to leave the comfiness of my parents' home and come back to the city today. I put in an application at an elem school on monday before leaving and they called back tuesday to set up an interview. I missed the call and now have to figure out whether to explain or not...... and how much. And, I don't really have anything to wear to an interview. It's happening too fast and at a bad time but I have to do it.

At least I have through monday off from work.

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Ring them & explain you were away with your family for "pressing personal reasons" (give no details) & just got their message, but yes, you are definitely interested in talking to them. As for interview clothes: "respectable" & tidy is fine. Beg, borrow or buy at such short notice. Not too formal. You can manage this & it will be good for you to focus on your future work, too. What do you think?

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Thanks MsOlga!

I think I'll move the interview talk to the teeture thread.....

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(((((((((((Littlek)))))))))))

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Thanks G. I keep waiting for it to hit me. I wonder why it hasn't. Maybe I've grienved all my woes out before her death? Maybe I just haven't looked it in the face?

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You've been crazy busy lately, k and you truly haven't had time to grieve.
Since you knew in advance, you already did go through a lot of your grieving, so that explains a lot.
The fact that you've been so busy may prolong some of that as well.

I've kept up with this thread and I did some crying with you, so hang in there kiddo.

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You might be right, Montana.

This is just a good place to put some stuff down now.......

Last night I dreamt that I have forgotten Boo in my car (she used to prefer to ride on the floor behind the passenger seat) and I couldn't find my car to let her out. I keep hearing her whining for attention from another room, and I found myself rushing back from a drink out last night only to realize I needent rush. The times It hits me still don't seem to provoke a strong emotional response (I tear up, but don't full-out cry). I am begining to wonder if I am deficient. I am very stressed out, my jaw is tight and I am chewing my nails really badly. Screech is wandering around the house after me, talking away and I think he misses Boo too.

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littlek wrote:

You might be right, Montana.

This is just a good place to put some stuff down now.......

Last night I dreamt that I have forgotten Boo in my car (she used to prefer to ride on the floor behind the passenger seat) and I couldn't find my car to let her out. I keep hearing her whining for attention from another room, and I found myself rushing back from a drink out last night only to realize I needent rush. The times It hits me still don't seem to provoke a strong emotional response (I tear up, but don't full-out cry). I am begining to wonder if I am deficient. I am very stressed out, my jaw is tight and I am chewing my nails really badly. Screech is wandering around the house after me, talking away and I think he misses Boo too.

That's my grief dream, too.

I dream I can ave the person/animal if I can only do something that seems really simple, (like dialling for help) but I try and try to do it, but simply cannot....in your case it is find her.

Deficient?

For pete's sake....'k you will do/feel what is right for you to, at the right time. Can you just let it be and trust yourself?

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Can I do what I do? I am, really, I'm just thinking 'out loud' so to speak.

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I'm very sorry to hear of your Boo, littlek.

Whatever you are feeling or not feeling, it's all fine. Give it some time.

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littlek wrote:

You might be right, Montana.

This is just a good place to put some stuff down now.......

Last night I dreamt that I have forgotten Boo in my car (she used to prefer to ride on the floor behind the passenger seat) and I couldn't find my car to let her out. I keep hearing her whining for attention from another room, and I found myself rushing back from a drink out last night only to realize I needent rush. The times It hits me still don't seem to provoke a strong emotional response (I tear up, but don't full-out cry). I am begining to wonder if I am deficient. I am very stressed out, my jaw is tight and I am chewing my nails really badly. Screech is wandering around the house after me, talking away and I think he misses Boo too.

I use to dream about one of my cats like that as well. She had a tumor and I also had to put her down.
In my dreams, I was always trying to find her.
It's amazing how grieving works and you'll get there in time when you have more time to deal with it.
The human body is incredible the way it only gives you what you can handle, when you can handle it.

Does that make sense?

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littlek wrote:

Can I do what I do? I am, really, I'm just thinking 'out loud' so to speak.

Fair enough.

Or get drunk.....

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Doing both, ma'am.

If it's coming out in my dreams, montana, does that mean I am avoiding it in my waking life?

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littlek wrote:

Doing both, ma'am.

If it's coming out in my dreams, montana, does that mean I am avoiding it in my waking life?

Oh..that's to Montana, I know, but my answer would be a resounding "NO"!

Doing it in dreams is part of the work.

I do wonder if we do it more deeply when we sleep, too?

And you are very busy in your waking life right now.

Got a shoulder to cry on when you get to crying?

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The first line was to you, dlowan. Nope, no shoulder handy. I've been alone so long that it wouldn't seem right to have a shoulder. Ok, not really, but mostly. I have my landlady and building mate from downstairs. She's a willing shoulder, but she comes with dogs who will just make me sadder. Soon, the kids and my sister will be back soon - the kids, anyway, have been great little pillars of support. How sad is that for them? My parents were great while I was on the cape, but they would be but shoulders-in-virtuality if the emotional **** hit the ego.

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littlek wrote:

The first line was to you, dlowan. Nope, no shoulder handy. I've been alone so long that it wouldn't seem right to have a shoulder. Ok, not really, but mostly. I have my landlady and building mate from downstairs. She's a willing shoulder, but she comes with dogs who will just make me sadder. Soon, the kids and my sister will be back soon - the kids, anyway, have been great little pillars of support. How sad is that for them? My parents were great while I was on the cape, but they would be but shoulders-in-virtuality if the emotional **** hit the ego.

Oy!

Can't cry on Dasha's shoulder in voice chat?

I have done that when a flesh shoulder wasn't there.

Sobbing in someone's arms is best, but heck....

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Aw, I hate sobbing on a real shoulder, even if it is a family shoulder. Dasha is VERY busy and many time zones away. I have had some good corespondance from friends who have known Boo over the years, but who are remote. I think that has helped.

So.... I have this weekened to sort it all ot. Ready, set, go!

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littlek wrote:

Doing both, ma'am.

If it's coming out in my dreams, montana, does that mean I am avoiding it in my waking life?

I'm not really sure myself, Littlek, but I always thought it was just because I wanted her back so badly that I ended up searching for her in my dreams.

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I feel for you, lk.

Sending you a big virtual hug, from one dog doting human to another.

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