Setanta wrote:he was translated directly to the right hand of god the father, via celestial elevator . . .
so this'd be, like, The Stairway to Heaven?
no ebeth...please pay attention.... that speaks to the celestial escalator issue specifically....
ESCALATOR TO HEAVEN
She said "St. Peter must've made a mistake." She's boltin' on down from the Pearly Gates. She's goin' down the up escalator to heaven. Well, she's not content to rest in peace. Headin' south and movin' fast. Pushin' by the recently deceased. Heads all snapped as she flew past. The elevator's broken and the stairway too. What's a little runaway angel to do? She's goin' down the up escalator to heaven. Well, she don't have no time to kill or wait for clerical correction. She's goin' for the gold in the downhill undead slalom resurrection. She made it to the bottom but she tripped & fell. Put her head on the pavement. Now she's goin' down to hell. She gets down on her knees and begs, puts that handrail between her legs. She's goin' down the up escalator to heaven.
Wait, if jesus was already resurected, who is everyone waiting for?
So. If they say that after the resurrection that Jesus lived for 40 days before ascending to Heaven then they could really mean that he was around for longer than that.
And if Sarah started having kids when she was 300 years old she really could have been like 1,000 or something.
Shall we assume that the 7 day creation story is a guestimate as well?
How do people reconcile these times when they interpret the Bible literally?
Is it just a matter of faith?