The father wants to sign over his rights...

Hey, you're not dumping anything on me or anyone else. I understand completely and if you saw my child support thread, you'll see that I do lots of venting myself. Venting is good for the soul and you need to get things off your chest. I know the crap he's putting you through and his purpose is to break you down, so if I were you, I wouldn't talk to him at all. Take care of everything you need to do with him in court and avoid talking to him, because all that's going to come out of it is anger and this is what he wants. You're pissing him off by making him financially responsible for his child, so he's going to do everything he can to piss you off, so don't give him the satisfaction. He will be as much as a burden to you as he can, so you'll get fed up and drop the whole thing. I know his game because I've been there and if I could do it all over again, I would have done it much differently and cut off all communication with my ex. Stand strong ;-)

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Wow, very well put. I am going to try it. I think the next time I will see him is to take the paternaty test and I still dont know anything about it. I hate not knowing whats going to happen. Thank you for saying that I am not a burden on you, it makes me feel so much better!

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You're very welcome. I like to help if I can and it's no burden at all. Just remember that your life will be much easier for you without dealing with his baby games. You may have his child, but it doesn't mean you can't cut the cord with him. He obviously has no interest in his child, so he's just dead weight on your shoulders if you allow him to be. I know the waiting is frustrating, believe me, I know. I'm still waiting to hear something from the courts and I haven't recieved a dime in support since Sept, but these things take time and I've learned that it's not worth getting frustrated over, because all that frustration was just hurting me. We'll just hang in limbo together, ok ;-)

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Well, he says that he wants to be apart of Jordan's (my son) life and that he wants to raise him together but he wants me to drop child support, when I asked him what the difference would be because it would come right back to him he said some babble and changed the subject. The more I talk to him the less I care about him, I will say I love that he help make such a beutiful baby but other then that I think he has alot of growing up to do. When I was pregnant he kept saying that he wasnt ready to be a daddy and that I wasnt ready and that I wouldnt be a good mom, that hurt alot but I didnt take it to heart I just said whatever and hung up. But now I tell him that even though I wasnt ready to be a mommy I sure became as ready as I would ever be. Some days it shocks me on the things he says and then acts like every thing is ok when its not, when he does come and see Jordan me and him dont talk and when I ask him how are we going to work things out with out talking he give a two liner and goes back to what he was doing. God what did I ever see in him? What are you waiting in limbo for? I am not sure if you said or not.

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Oh yeah, he wants to be a part of Jordans life, but he doesn't want to provide for him. Sounds just like my ex. In fact, everything he says to you are things that my ex has said and that spells "loser"!
I'm waiting in limbo for my child support that my ex hasn't paid since September. I've been fighting my ex for child support for over 17 years and it's been a never ending battle, sigh!

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Well I hope every thing works out! I would like to know what makes guys think that they can treat women like crap and then play it off like nothing happen? Its mind buggling.

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I know. Some people just don't have a clue, sigh!

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Well, he called me last night and I wasnt too pleasent with him, But he told me that he had found a new job framing houses. I asked if he had gotten anything from the people and he said no and then I got off of the phone with him. I think he might be a little crazy... but thats just my own opinion.

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Sounds like a fair opinion to me. You won't get anywhere with him, so there's no sense in trying.

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I know. I just dont want my son to blame me for anything like not trying or not letting him see him or any of that crap but I guess I will just deal with them when they are asked.

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Just because he wants a relationship with his son doesn't mean that relationship includes you. Do you have any visitation arrangements? Do you trust him to take your son out on his visitation? There's no reason why you can't make arrangements for father and child to see eachother without you having to be there, unless you fear for your sons safety if he's alone with him. In that case, when you go back to court, you can explain the situation and request supervised visitation with a nutral party present during their visitation. You are in no way obligated to put up with anyones abuse and I'm quite sure your son wouldn't want that for you either.

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No we dont have visitation arrangements, well other then me asking if he would come down and see my son. I dont really trust him because he has a lot of bad habbits and family like: he smokes weed and drinks, his mother told my mom a list of problems and addmitted to smoking crack, and he is living with his dads ex girlfriend. Thats just the begining. I also dont think he would be able to take care of Jordan by himself right now because he is still really little and Jordan doesnt act right with him (crys alot and gets mad) so I think he would have some problems and get frustrated and do something bad. He also has a really short temper!

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I am willing to support that child
Ok, in these posts I have read people mentioning of trying to get out of "Child Rights" and paying child support etc.
I recently married my new wife. She has a 1 week old child. The Bio father wants nothing to do with it because he wants to get out of paying child support and is not ready to take on the tasks. I want to adopt the child and her Ex-husband is willing to sign over his rights. I am willing to make sure he does not have to pay CS so we can move on with our lives and close this door.
How do i get the information or where do i start this process of getting the rights to this child etc?
Thanks Question

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Nadda
I see your problem, so when you go back into court, you need to let them know that Jordans father is a drinker and on drugs and arrange for supervised visitation. This is his problem and it doesn't need to be yours.

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Re: I am willing to support that child

newhubby wrote:

Ok, in these posts I have read people mentioning of trying to get out of "Child Rights" and paying child support etc.
I recently married my new wife. She has a 1 week old child. The Bio father wants nothing to do with it because he wants to get out of paying child support and is not ready to take on the tasks. I want to adopt the child and her Ex-husband is willing to sign over his rights. I am willing to make sure he does not have to pay CS so we can move on with our lives and close this door.
How do i get the information or where do i start this process of getting the rights to this child etc?
Thanks

If everyone is in agreement it'll be a peice of cake. What you need to do is contact a family lawyer to get all the details squared away. The lawyer will tell you everything that needs to be done.

My hat goes off to you for being so committed to your new family :-D

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Re: I am willing to support that child

Montana wrote:

newhubby wrote:
Ok, in these posts I have read people mentioning of trying to get out of "Child Rights" and paying child support etc.
I recently married my new wife. She has a 1 week old child. The Bio father wants nothing to do with it because he wants to get out of paying child support and is not ready to take on the tasks. I want to adopt the child and her Ex-husband is willing to sign over his rights. I am willing to make sure he does not have to pay CS so we can move on with our lives and close this door.
How do i get the information or where do i start this process of getting the rights to this child etc?
Thanks

If everyone is in agreement it'll be a peice of cake. What you need to do is contact a family lawyer to get all the details squared away. The lawyer will tell you everything that needs to be done.

My hat goes off to you for being so committed to your new family :-D

Thank you for the help. Very Happy

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You're very welcome.

Best of luck to you and yours.

Welcome to A2K :-D

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Montana, I talked to the dad and he is really trying hard to be a part of our sons life. He had told me that he is going to try to come down every weekend when he doesnt have to work. Now all I want to know is when he is going to start helping with the bills! (HAHA) Well thats really not that funny but I hope he starts taken up his end of it. How are you doing?

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Well, since he has obviously made it clear in more ways than one that he doesn't want to pay child support, I think you'll have to wait for the courts to make a child support order. When you go back to court, don't forget to ask for back support owed and get the DOR involved to collect on your behalf.

Same stuff, different day here. Nothing has changed and I don't expect anything to change in the near future. If you check out my child support thread, that's where I post the up to date news about my case.

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DOR? On the papers they sent me for the cort thingie, it says he has to pay back support and all sorts of other things. We are just waiting for the DNA test date in the mail wich really sucks, I hate this its taken so long just for us to go to cort and now its taken even longer just to get some stuff in the mail. I will read your thread.

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The father wants to sign over his rights...

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