The father wants to sign over his rights...

Montana, all I know is that I should get something in the mail. They told him that if he didnt keep up with the guy who does the testing then the courts would see him as the father then make him pay child support. So I am waiting for the mail too. Do you know how long it takes for a paternaty test to come back? I just cant wait for all this mess to be over with! My sons father wants to try and see if it would work between us but my gut tells me not to but like people say it never hurts to try. MAKEMESHIVER33 thank you.

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Nadda, it doesn't hurt to try. But it really depends on how your heart feels about the daddy?

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nadda--

I'm not an expert, but a DNA paternity test can take 6-8 weeks and more.
The overcrowded labs figure murder evidence is more important than establishing paternity.

You write:

Quote:

My sons father wants to try and see if it would work between us but my gut tells me not to but like people say it never hurts to try.

"It never hurts to try?" Suppose your son gets used to having Daddy in his life--and you become more and more sure that you don't want Daddy in your life?

I don't know how bitter the breakup was between you and the father of your child. Demanding a paternity test is not an announcement of love and trust.

He should be a part of his son's life and this should happen on a part-time basis. "Part time" means keep your legs crossed and don't serve breakfast. If he's willing to court you--and you are willing to be courted--fine, but don't let your baby assume that Daddy is firm and fixed part of his life when you aren't sure.

Good luck.

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nadda2lose wrote:

Montana, all I know is that I should get something in the mail. They told him that if he didnt keep up with the guy who does the testing then the courts would see him as the father then make him pay child support. So I am waiting for the mail too. Do you know how long it takes for a paternaty test to come back? I just cant wait for all this mess to be over with! My sons father wants to try and see if it would work between us but my gut tells me not to but like people say it never hurts to try. MAKEMESHIVER33 thank you.

I have no idea how long it takes for the test, but the 6 to 8 weeks that Noddy suggested sounds like something you could go by.

So you are considering getting back with his father? If so, do you love him? If not, I wouldn't do it. You also have to think about what's best for your son in the long term. Make sure you give everything some serious thought before you decide.

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Well, we broke up over a cell phone battery. He TOLD me to give it to him and I had said if you ask for it I would give what ever you need but dont tell me to give you something that is mine I dont have to give you Sh-t. Well thats how it went, pretty bad. That was the only fight we had the whole time we were together and we stop talking a month after that. I know it wasnt love, but it could have turned into it maybe but after every thing he has said to me while I was a prago I really have alot of resentment at him. That and I dont know how well I would be able to trust him (he lives about an hour away) from when we were dating he had an ex girl friend there and they where "talking" for four hours so... yeah. But that is the basis of our relationship.
Crystal

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Doesn't sound like much of a relationship, Crystal. I know I wouldn't bother, but that's just me. I think it would be best for both you and your son to move forward instead of backwards and wait for the right guy to come along. You can't simply learn to love someone. It's either there or it's not. If there were no sparks between the two of you then, then it won't happen.

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thats what I thought but I guess I also thought that with us having a baby that it might change things alittle but I am also talking to this guy that works with me and he is really good with my son and me so there might be something between us... who knows.

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Go with your heart ;-)

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fathers rights
They is really nothing you can do about the way your sons father acts nor the way he feels about giving up his rights. Believe me Iam going through the same thing with my 18month old and 4 month old. Iam in texas though and the enforcement on child support isnt that great. The way I look at it is if they do not love there children enough to take care of them and they would rather give them up than support them they dont deserve to be a parent.

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bmsmom, yeah that is true. I dont really know what he wants to do he says now he isnt going to sign them over and blah blah blah... But the man that I am talking to is really good to me and my son and I think that things might turn for the better. Well I hope they do. Thank you every one for every thing you have told me, its really helped me out and I wish I could have found this site sooner!
Crystal

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fathers rights
The best enviorment possible for you son and you is to have a happy home and a loving mother and father. If you are seeing someone who you think is good for you and your son than that is something to think about. Have you spoking to him about this issue. If he is thinking your are going to have a future and he wants to adopt your son. I say Good for you and Good for Him Very Happy

It is had to find a man to love your children as there own. It sound like he just is trying to hurt you if one day he says he is going to sign over rights and the next day he doesnt. Its not about his realsonship with his child. May God be with you. Just Let your love for your son lead your way. And Like my mother told me when you look for a man make sure he is already the man you want him to be not someone you could see being what you want.

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I will keep what your mother said in mind, thanks for sharing it with me.

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Well I am glad that I did not get back with my sons father, we were talking yesterday and I found out what he was really trying to do. He said that in order for us to get together I would have to drop the child support and I was really shocked that he would suggest that. But I am still talking to a wonderful man and he makes my son light up like I have never seen before and he makes me feel great too. I hope things work out with us and I wish all the best to every one that I talked to on here. Thank you for taking the time to help me get through my problems.
Crystal

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Crystal--

Drop child support to show your love for the father of that child?

Aren't you happy you had that conversation!

Glad we could help.

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nadda2lose wrote:

Well I am glad that I did not get back with my sons father, we were talking yesterday and I found out what he was really trying to do. He said that in order for us to get together I would have to drop the child support and I was really shocked that he would suggest that. But I am still talking to a wonderful man and he makes my son light up like I have never seen before and he makes me feel great too. I hope things work out with us and I wish all the best to every one that I talked to on here. Thank you for taking the time to help me get through my problems.
Crystal

I'm so glad you saw what he was made of before you got back together with a man that wants to sign away his rights to his own child. When you get the test results, get his ass back in court and get the child support your child is entitled too.

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Noddy, yes I am very happy I had that convo. with him just goes to show how much of an A-hole he is! Montana, I will after the results get back but so far we havent even gotten anything in the mail, I hope they hurry so I can be done with him.

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I hear that nadda ;-)

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I just cant belive that I have such a big problem like this, its crazy a year ago I wouldnt have guessed that I would have had a child... He told me a few days ago that he "lost" his job I know he quit it because I called his ex-work and they told me. He better not try to get out of paying for our son. I dont even know what I seen in him, we have nothing in common. I am just glad he gave me such a great son.

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Well, he sounds just like my ex and will do anything to prevent paying support. It's hard for me because I'm 700 miles away from the courts and just can shoot down there at the drop of a dime, but you can. Be very relentless in this issue. See if you can't call his ex work back and see if they would agree to put the fact that he quit in writing. You can actually have them summonsed into court to testify to that if they are faced with any legal issues with giving you any information.

My God, does he sound like my ex. If he's anything like my ex, prepare yourself for long rocky road.

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Well, I hope it isnt long and rocky but I guess I will have to do what ever I need to, to get it done. I (just like you) am willing to do what ever it takes for the well being of my child and if that means I need to get down and dirty the so be it. But I am not going to give into him. I cant really stand to talk to him, I have so much animosity against him its hard for me not to get upset with him. Then when I tell him it bothers me (what he said while I was a prago and after). He says "like a normal girl always bitching about the past" I just want to scream at him... But I dont I stay straight with him and get off the phone. I am sorry for dumping every thing out on you but it just feels so good to have other people who know what i am talking about listen and give advice...

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The father wants to sign over his rights...

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