1
   

What Denomination Will Have The Most Members In Heaven?

 
 
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:22 pm
because politics is no fun anymore...we're screwed and that's that.....let's talk about a related subject...since we're all going to die soon.....what Christian religious denomination will send the most people to heaven?

Baptists?
Presbyterians?
Methodists?
Catholics?


discuss...and tell why your partiicular denomination is best and why Jesus loves you the most....

The only thing I can state as an absolute regarding different denominations is that Methodists always let out at 11:55 instead of 12:00 so we can beat those stinking baptists to Golden Corral......
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 3,636 • Replies: 66
No top replies

 
George
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:26 pm
Why us Catholics, of course!
Some demoninations care for you from cradle to grave.
Others from womb to tomb.
We got you covered from erection to resurection.
0 Replies
 
SCoates
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:35 pm
Mormons will have the most, because we won't let anyone else in. Smile
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:37 pm
I vote for the Church of Hell, a denomination of lapsed Catholics who believe we are in it now and will all go to heaven when we die... a heaven filled with all the blessings of the void. Every one of us.

I guess that means I agree with George.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:39 pm
Where do Christians get the idea they're getting in?
They're being overtaken here in terms of population - I suspect there isn't going to be any room in heaven for them.
Isn't Purgatory the in-between places holding tank?
And the believers with the most adherents move on to heaven first of course. And Christianity's losing that race.

So Christians will have to think of somewhere else to go.
Maybe Minneapolis?
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:45 pm
Minneapolis in the summer? Or Minneapolis in the winter? Big difference.

SCoates -- I thought Mormons were baptizing posthumously. I'm surprised that wouldn't include a little patch of heaven.
0 Replies
 
SCoates
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:46 pm
Crud... I didn't realize it was a popularity contest.

I'll wonder if I'll be allowed in if I do their dishes or something. I got a free hamburger at a McDonalds once that way.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:57 pm
I asked my husband about this and he said that I was too mean to ever die, so I guess I don't have to worry about any of that afterlife stuff. I am staying here.
0 Replies
 
SCoates
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 06:59 pm
Mean people live forever?
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 07:04 pm
Well, the good die young (and presumably go to heaven).
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 07:24 pm
He said that if I do die, he will have "I thought she would never shut up" engraved on a headstone. Actually, he never said any of those things, I made all of that stuff up, mr. glitterbag is a much nicer person than I am. I'm not really technically mean, as in mean spirited, but I do like to yank chains every once in a while.

But back to the original question, which group do you think would be the most fun to spend time with? If I get in, I would like to spend eternity enjoying myself, because it's really not that life is so short, it's that you are dead for such a looooooooog time. So I want to join up with a group that knows how to have a good time. Come to think of it, a lot of Catholics know how to rock, comes from all that time with the nuns in Catholic School.
0 Replies
 
Synonymph
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 09:05 pm
George wrote:
Why us Catholics, of course!
Some demoninations care for you from cradle to grave.
Others from womb to tomb.
We got you covered from erection to resurrection.


As long as you show a predilection
For hours spent in genuflection.
0 Replies
 
jjorge
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 10:20 pm
We Unitarians will send a social action committee to Heaven to make sure gays are treated fairly, to bring sandwiches and good used clothing ( just in case there are some homeless there) and to clean up any littered beaches.
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 10:31 pm
In discussions like this, I'm always reminded of the fella who said, "I don't care whether I go to Heaven or Hell. I know I have friends in both places."
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2004 10:36 pm
I hope Frank Apisa doesn't see this: Ain't no heaven; ain't nobody getting in.
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2004 07:55 am
Jjorge -- Very Happy -- and so there will always be a place in heaven for you UU's.

Littered beaches!
0 Replies
 
jjorge
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2004 12:13 pm
Piffka wrote:
Jjorge -- Very Happy -- and so there will always be a place in heaven for you UU's.

Littered beaches!



You'd probably not guess from my post that I've been (officially) a U.U. for exactly one week. Rolling Eyes

Nevertheless, I think it is an accurate portrayal. Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2004 12:54 pm
I know you said you'd joined, J. If I were the joining type (I'm not) I might consider them as well. They seem to be so reasonable and all-inclusive. The UU's have got some great websites, too.
0 Replies
 
hamburger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2004 01:22 pm
merryandrew wrote : "In discussions like this, I'm always reminded of the fella who said, "I don't care whether I go to Heaven or Hell. I know I have friends in both places." ... did you hear the story of the two irish fellows ? one was a real rascal, the other one a real good guy, and they were good friends and died at the same time. of course, the rascal went to hell, the gg went to heaven. after a few weeks they met on the milky way were the rascal was out for a stroll, while the gg was working hard to keep everything spic and span. so the gg asked the rascal how things were in hell. the rascal said : 'oh, it's nice and warm, dancing girls, and the devil's mother-in-law always has a nice pot of stew on the fire . btw. how are things in heaven ? pretty nice i imagine. '. the gg replied : 'lots of work all day long, hardly any time for a meal, just work, work work !'. 'how come ?' the rascal asked. the gg, breathing heavily and perspiring from the hard work, whispered : 'i'm the ONLY one up there !' . hbg
0 Replies
 
Acquiunk
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2004 01:23 pm
I thought access was limited to Jehovah Witnesses. At least that's what they told me the last time they came to the door.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

700 Inconsistencies in the Bible - Discussion by onevoice
Why do we deliberately fool ourselves? - Discussion by coincidence
Spirituality - Question by Miller
Oneness vs. Trinity - Discussion by Arella Mae
give you chills - Discussion by Bartikus
Evidence for Evolution! - Discussion by Bartikus
Evidence of God! - Discussion by Bartikus
One World Order?! - Discussion by Bartikus
God loves us all....!? - Discussion by Bartikus
The Preambles to Our States - Discussion by Charli
 
  1. Forums
  2. » What Denomination Will Have The Most Members In Heaven?
Copyright © 2020 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 09/27/2020 at 05:24:35