Santa comes but once a year, but when he comes, he fills your stocking.
.....the old ones are the best!
I have grandma got run over by a reindeer. I love it!
Let's post the full song for everyone's enjoyment:
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.
I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
This is becoming a classic, it is sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland:
Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear
Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
popular czech song. translation: courtesy of my wild procrastination.
Vánoce, Vánoce přicházejí, zpívejme přátelé,
po roce Vánoce, Vánoce přicházejí, ťastné a veselé.
Christmas is here after full year, let us now all sing and dance
after a year, Christmas is here, a true white romance
1. Proč si děda říct si nedá,
tluče o stůl v předsíni,
a pak běda,marně hledá
kapra pod skříní,
Why the firstborn is so stubborn
hammers on the fish'es head *
and then, blimey, carp so slimey
slides 'neath the cabinet
Nae teta peče léta na Vánoce vánočku,
nereptáme aspoň máme něco pro kočku.
Dear old aunt bakes her christmas cake every christmas, each damned time
Mustn't grumble, dog is humble, he'll eat, we'll save a dime.
Jé
Vánoce, Vánoce přicházejí, zpívejme přátelé,
po roce Vánoce, Vánoce přicházejí, ťastné a veselé.
Christmas is here after full year, let us now all sing and dance
after a year, Christmas is here, a true white romance
2. Bez prskavek tvrdil Slávek
na tědrý den nelze být
a pak táta s minimaxem
zavlaoval byt.
No Christmas night has the full might
Without candles, without sparks,
says ole Tibor minutes before
full fire embarks
Tyhle ryby neměly by maso míti samou kost,
říká táta vdy, kdy chvátá na pohotovost.
fish are just cursed, they are traversed, with tiny bones head to tail,
whispers father and our mother things he won't live to tell
Jé
Vánoce, Vánoce přicházejí, zpívejme přátelé,
po roce Vánoce, Vánoce přicházejí, ťastné a veselé.
Christmas is here after full year, let us now all sing and dance
after a year, Christmas is here, a true white romance
3. Jednou v roce na Vánoce
strejda housle popadne,
jeho vinou se z nich linou
tóny záhadné.
Once a year dear uncle will veer towards the dreaded violin
it's his doing that it's mooing sounds most grueling
Strejdu vida děda přidá Neseme vám noviny,"
čím prakticky zničí vdycky večer rodinný.
Grandpa sees hence his only chance to start his vile Jesus dreck
Which makes for the last straw that breaks proverbial camel's back
Jé
Christmas is here after full year, let us now all sing and dance
after a year, Christmas is here, a true white romance
4. A kdy sní se,co je v míse,
televizor pustíme,
v jizbě dusné vechno usne
k blaenosti mé.
when we eat up what was set up,
Telly goes on, praised be lord,
all fall asleep, not a one peep,
disturbs peace no more
* We silly Central Europeans eat carps for christmas. traditionally they are bought live and they live in your bathtub for two-three days. then someone has to kill and clean them.... hours of fun. and you thought your christmas is dreadful
This is a 'I hate Chistmas' thread. Damn you happy Christmas people. DAMN YOU. I'll have to go into hidding till it's all over.
We could start a hundred 'I hate Chrismas theards and you guys would come in singing and prancing around like little fairies wearing santa hats with a big ass smile on your face. BAH
Setanta
I love you!
You bring such a touch of......
<what the hell is that word I'm struggling for!>
Dun good, too, Ellpus!
Don't fret mi amigo. I too detest Christmas. It is the time of year where I am among the few who do not suffer the stress laid on the populace by the retail industries. I give gifts to friends and relatives at unpredictable times throughout the year, but never on Xmas.
What an articulate response.
Isn't this thread from last year? I swear I remember this thread from last year.... Hey, it IS that thread from last year! Right on!
JLNobody wrote:What an articulate response.
Articulation is my tradmark.
Re: Hands up if you hate Christmas! .. (sorry, edgar!)
msolga wrote:Yes, I hate the "yuletide season" with a vengeance!
<edit>
So what about you?: Is Christmas a joy (lucky you!) or something to be endured? Tell us you stories!
Count me in for one of those who detest the
Christmas season.
For me, the hightlight of Christmas is my wife's (Vivienne) dinner. It's always excellent. It's a small gathering, so we get along just fine.
What absolutely drives me nuts is the business part of the Christmas season. It starts earlier and earlier. People hurrying around to buy their gifts last minute every year. Crowded stores. Traffic jams. Parking lot antics. Yuk!
The family get-together is nice, but I really could do without the rest of it.
I'm happy about this coming Christmas. I've had some X-mas's from hell that I hated, but not this year!
I WON'T be showing to the guilt-infested family feeding frenzy. This year I will be passing by all the things I hate; which are:
The presents you feel you have to buy and it's all a bunch of crap
The people you don't like or love but still sit there as they get drunk in front of the kids
The huge expense on useless crap
The stress of listening to other people stressing about stupid sh*t about X-mas
The plan so far: Me and bf will be getting together with a few friends. Food, drinks, and skating. Go see the lights and gawk. Then curl up and fall asleep in a cidery doze. I will be having stocking though! I'm a big fan of stockings:)
Very funny ditties, setanta!
Morning Oz! My sisters have been living there for years, and have only just got used to the fact that the shops spray fake snow all around their windows, and Santa wears a bloody great winter outfit, even though it is mid summer and the average temp is about 100F.
Do they do that where you are? I would love to see a pic.
Good afternoon (or evening, almost) Ellpus.
Yes, some silly folk still do that sort of thing. Don't ask me why. It's a mystery to me.
But most of us a bit more sensible these days. And don't you feel terribly sorry for the poor, sweating Santas in the shopping centres having to wear that get-up on a stinking hot day? (Say nothing to put up with spoilt kiddies' wish lists!
)
I'll see if I can find some photographs for you.
I've found one!
Aussie Santa.....................
MARVELLOUS!
