Hands up if you hate Christmas! .. (sorry, edgar!)

Stupid boy comes naturally to you? KK

Coincidentally, I'm thinking fashion this morning, too.

Me?....I want a pair of those VERY low waisted jeans, so that I can show my aristocrack.

The image makes her faint. Ahhhhhhhhhhh

back to xmas (I love writing christmas as xmas because the nuns told us it was a sin if we did that)

Some years I would say I hated it, some years I just wished it would go away.
Every year I wished I could go to bed around Dec 10th and not wake up until Jan 3.

I've slowly come to realize it wasn't the holiday I hated, but feeling like I was being forced to celebrate it in someone elses way, not mine.

All due respect AngeliqueEast, but telling people who are uncomfortable with the holidays that you feel sorry for them does not help a bit.

I had an ephinany 2 years back where I realized the absolutely HATED XMAS TREES!

In my family, the only way I could tell as a child when the tree was finished getting decorated was when one or more children were sobbing, at least one adult was screaming, and the tree looked like ****.

And that was just the start of the merry season.

Up until that realization, whenever I was forced to be in a store selling decorations and what not, I would go into a full blown panic attack, and have to run to the car to shake and cry.

So before you feel pity for someone because they are not all 'tra la la', consider the history.

That year, I tentatively created a holiday wall at my front entrance, using all items that NEVER would have been used at my childhood home....ski's, groovy little joey heatherton like characters wearing skimpy santa outfits, and so on.

I....I....actually felt good about the holidays for the first time in my life.

the standard xmas's today are just to big to get my mind around.

What you say here is very important People should stop looking at the outside, and celebrate it their own way, with the people they love. I think you hit on it.

If for whatever reason they are unhappy, don't blame it on a holiday.

I'm not a christian or believe in god but I celebrate with my loved ones just the same. They are the ones that are important to me. If you don't have family, and believe yourself to be a good person, then go out and do something for someone else.

Hate Christmas? Then you will really hate this.

Nice sentiment, but when you are 6 or 10 or 16 years old, you really don't have much choice in how you celebrate a holiday, all you know is the f*cked up way it's done at your house.
Then, when you are of an age and position to determine your own life style, it's not as simple a matter as you would make it to say "Hey, I'm gonna celebrate xmas MY way"! Especially when you still have the family around who is quite disconcerted to say the least when you decide to make this change.

People are very attached to traditions, especially at the holiday time....By announcing you are not going to attend the traditional family gathering that sent you into therapy in the first place, you are pretty much guaranteeing a really f*ucked up year to come with them.

Yes, of course it can be done, if you are willing to accept the fallout.
20 some years after leaving home, I still had the obligation to call my mother on T-day, etc. in order to not be screwed over by the rest of the family. I hated calling her, and I'm pretty sure she hated hearing from me.
I understood the need to make by own traditions, but she didn't, even though she hated hearing from me, and could only think to ask me if I were watching the T-day Macy's parade, she was not in a place where she could see this didn't have to be. Her life revolved around.."This is the way it's done"
It takes two to tango, and since I knew her dance steps, but she didn't know mine, it was easier and less stressful to dance once around the room with her, rather than force her to accept others needs for creating their own traditions.

It wasn't until both parents were dead and buried when I could heave a sigh of relief over that horrible 5 minute ritual twice a year.

That's not worthy of anyone feeling sorry for someone, it's realizing we're living in a reality that doesn't always go our way.

Life takes a lot of patience, change comes slowly most of the time.

Funny, on one hand you say people should celebrate their own way, and in the next breath you are telling us was we "should" do, (spending it with loved ones) and telling us to "go out and do something for someone else"

In other words, you have expectations of traditions that those who don't particularly care for the holidays "should" adopt.

If you feel people should celebrate in their own way, or not celebrate if they prefer, than why are you even suggesting anything at all?

Holiday Time is the most complicated, emotionally charged, illogical, frustrating, demanding, potentially wonderful or potentially horrible time of the year....

Sorry, but it's simply not as simple as you are making it out to be.

I managed to make it through exactly 17 seconds of the 3:02 minutes.

I'm not telling anybody what to do.

Wow, that is some statement!

"Holiday Time is the most complicated, emotionally charged, illogical, frustrating, demanding, potentially wonderful or potentially horrible time of the year...."

I was not aware that it was such an ordeal for some people. And, your right it's not as simple to some as it is for me. I do try to keep my life simple, and concern myself with whats important.

But I believe it's within each individual to made things as simple or as complicated as they wish.

Forgive me if I ignore you, but I know your going to go on, and on with this, and I don't wish to.

I don't need you to feel sorry for me AE, nor do I need you to forgive me.

I would bet any money my life is much simpler than yours. Because I have worked for simplicity for so many years.

I was given a world of chaos, and have created a happy life by chipping away slowly at the parts that weren't peaceful.

You say you are not telling anyone what to do, but at the beginning of this post is a direct quote from you telling us (1) what others "should" do, (2) telling us not to blame a holiday and (3) telling us to go out and do something nice for someone else. Which BTW, we are supposed to do only if we believe we are "good". What do you think we should do if we don't think you are good?

Yes - That certainly IS some statement, it is well know that the holiday season is the peak time of year for suicides. Depression and anxiety are much more prevalent. Do you own research. I'm sure there are many websites that can educate you on this.

I certainly wish I had you around when I was 6 or 7, crying my eyes out, while making my alcholic father his second of many cocktails that would lead to violence and humiliation, watching my brothers beat each other and mother pretending this was all such fun.

I'm certain you could have told me how to uncomplicate my life. I know others who don't do well with the holidays wish you had been there to uncomplicate their also.

Do I live in that world today? No.
Will there always be a small wispy ghost of it in my soul? Yes.

Have I created my own traditions and simplified my own life? Yes.

Do I think you have a firm grasp on this subject? No.

You are not ignoring me, you just read this post.
Uncomplicate that.

You sound very feminine and vulnerable when you get like that, now don't start crying.

I have a firm grasp on my life. Do you?

Over and out!

Chai Tea--

Yes, Virginia, there is a generation gap.....

AE and I discussed privately, and are now famous friends!

Yes we are!

I will always let you win the argument/discussion, not. *giggles* just kidding.

age before beauty dear

You shall always win, not kidding.

Serious is what I meant to say. Seriously.

COOL! do you think they play music all night? winter in that house must suck. no sleep till february.

Chai Tea--

All generations together in the Spirit of the Season.

I love happy endings.