Sun 16 Apr, 2017 05:59 am
I broke up with my former girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. Our relationship wasn't working anymore for both sides and breaking up was the best decision we could take, for many reasons that are not relevant to the topic right now. It feels right and I have no regrets about it.
During that same week we broke up, I learned from some people I work with that a very pretty girl (let’s call her V) in the office was 100% into me. I am into her too. In fact, since I arrived in this new job (about a month ago) we have been exchanging looks and glancing at each other from time to time.
The people who revealed this to me said that she was very interested. So much that she would take extra trips to my department just to see me. Also, V had invited me to a bar with other coworkers a couple of times. One night we got super drunk and she touched my hands a few times. Anyway, we all got along really well, even though I don’t know her that much.
Less than a week after I broke up my ex-girlfriend, I was very encouraged by her friends to ask V out, and so I did. We went to the movies and, although she was really shy and nervous, the date was nice, we kissed, ate some burgers afterwards, spent a couple of hours chatting in the car. No sex or making out at this point, just small kisses and talking.
During the next week in work, she started asking me for rides homes, since we live close to each other. I was amazed by how much V was into me. It felt good and I got very excited about it. Especially because I was really depressed in my previous relationship and she made me see the world with optimistic eyes again.
Then things started to flow more naturally. We set up a date for the end of the week, happy hour drinks at some bar. Her friends would come along and it was supposed to be a fun night out with coworkers where I would possibly score a second time. But here is where everything sort of fell apart…
Her friends (the same who encouraged me to ask her out) bailed on her for some reason I don’t know. I was already at the bar with a friend when she texted me saying she wouldn’t make it. She expressed frustration with her friends and seemed sad. I insisted that she came anyway. Keep in mind that this was at about 8PM.
During the time I was there with my buddy, other friends arrived and some heavy drinking kicked in. I kept insisting that she should come but when she finally made it was about 1-2AM. I by that time, I was COMPLETELY WASTED. It was bad. She felt uncomfortable with my behavior. I couldn’t even stand properly, let alone be attractive and confident. I guess she stayed for no longer than an hour and left, clearly disappointed.
Next day I was totally hangover and ashamed. I couldn’t remember what happened, but if I know myself I probably fed her up with talks like “you’re so pretty”, “I like you so much”, “I’ve been dreaming with you since day 1”, etc. I know, I’m not proud of that. I was probably too eager and too honest and ended up scaring her off. She then wouldn’t talk to me in the next morning, I apologized for the crazy drunkenness but V would only reply with single dead end sentences. I made the mistake to ask her out again and she made up excuses.
I then thought that was that. Game over. I **** up. But then a day later she started to text me again. Said she was bored on a bus trip, asked me for a Netflix suggestion and we had some other small talk. I even said that I’d be nice to watch some TV series together and she replied “YYEESS”.
So I guess my question is: how do I approach this? Should I keep asking her out or I better give her some space and let her come to me? I haven’t texted her since and I feel that if I do, I will scare her off. Because I got super drunk and probably said embarrassing stuff, she might not even be into me anymore. Or perhaps she felt too much pressure from the things I said. Which is a shame because she looked VERY KEEN. Is there a way to fix this? What kind of date strategy should I take?
Let’s keep in mind that I work with V and will probably cross her in the hallways of the office most of the weekdays. Also, I don’t know how much of a importance she gives to the fact that I just broke up with another girl. I mean, she didn’t look bothered, but I don’t know… Help anyone? I really like her!
Step one: Stop drinking to the point of acting stupid and embarrassing yourself.
You're right. I'm not proud of that.
And then the next step is to act naturally. Have a nice date - and apologize (once, only) for your behavior. No big promises that you'll never do it again, etc. Just, "I'm sorry for the way I behaved the other night."
Then either she accepts your apology or tells you to forget it or everything comes to a screeching halt. It's highly likely to be one of the first two because she has no problem seeing you again.
So once she's said, "It's okay," or "I accept your apology." or something like that, change the subject.
"Have you seen the new MST3K series on Netflix yet? Do you want to watch that?" <- or whatever is appropriate.
I guess that ship has sailed now, but thanks for your advice.