Yes, thank you for sharing as well. You're journey is interesting, nuanced, perhaps more sublime than most..
No offence at thinking that no one knows. I wouldn't have believed me either.
I don't view this as believing you or not believing you in terms of your own experiences which, for what its worth, I believe are real. How can they not be unless you are just trolling! But you don't have that tenor..
And related, I don't view these things as 'delusion' as such. I think there is a place for delusion, but I see that as more of an active psychological activity (whether conscious or subconscious) whereas I see spirituality as a natural part of our makeup. It is honesty that keeps 'delusion' out of any given belief. Its stronger, more cohesive in some, less so in others.
Spiritual 'reality' is a non-issue in so much as it doesn't try to extend itself beyond the personal and into an empirical world, where there are much better explanations for a given subject or perhaps better evidential explanations.
And I view the empirical with the same constraints, just reversed. A mechanistic view of the universe is fine for things that lend themselves to that kind of knowledge, but break down at some level and where that stops..what starts? Who knows?
Also, in this 'non material' light, this concept of randomness you mentioned doesn't make sense. This concept is really a shortcut to saying my brain cannot go any further in understanding the world from a mechanistic/rational/logical view (take your pick). We give it a symbol we call 'random'. It is a place holder for when we've reached an apparent limit of our knowledge and consonant concepts break down.
It is in this sense I don't believe in 'randomness'. Like concepts like 'eternity' it is an idea that has its use as a marker for logical termination. This also relates to what you said about the unlikelihood of your experiences. From a spiritual stand point I find it difficult to understand what exactly is unlikely and what isn't. To me, that concept only has a home in what lends itself to mechanistic evaluations. As soon as you leave that domain, there are no comparative features to discern what is likely or unlikely. It may be very true that some spiritual thing is unlikely, but it could be equally true that it is inevitable!