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My academic appeal - you think they'll give me another chance?

 
 
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2016 01:54 am
I am .01 points away from the Minimum GPA requirement - here is my appeal. is there any punctuation errors that need to be fixed?


I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from xxxxxxxx. I was upset to recently receive a letter informing me that I am subject to academic dismissal. I am ashamed to admit that my low GPA is a reflection of my effort during my spring 2016 semester, but I take full responsibility for my actions.

Being away from home for so long was a very new experience for me, and I greatly overestimated my freedom. I made terrible choices this past year, especially during my second semester; not going to class because I could sleep in, going to parties knowing that I had upcoming exams, and letting my social life take over my academic career. I even missed quizzes frequently, and rationalizing that it was “only one quiz.” I thought that I could miss class and look at lecture notes online, not knowing that I was missing out on valuable information. When I received my quiz or exam grades, I always said that I will do better next time but this was never the case. I was more irresponsible not seeking extra help when struggling in class. Looking back at my last semester, not only did I waste my time not meeting the required accumulative GPA, but I wasted my professor’s time as well. I am by no means proud of my actions and it is certainly not easy to admit. However, receiving notice of my dismissal was a huge wake up call for me.

I realized that I lost my focus this past semester and receiving notice of my dismissal was a big wake up-call for me. I had lost sight of my purpose of coming to this university in the first place, to earn my degree. I will now take the initiative, because no one is responsible for my education but me. Starting with attending and being punctual to class, this was a major issue this past semester. I will see tutors for the extra help that I need, and see professors during office hours when I struggle to grasp the material. I lacked time management last semester, all though college can indeed be fun; it is important to know when to stop. I will have a weekly schedule of activities while making sure my academics come first. I know succeed at xxxxxxxxx, and I am determined to become the scholar I know I can be.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my appeal. Please contact me by e-mail or phone if you have any questions.


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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2016 06:38 am
@Gigantopithecus,
A few things. You use the word that a lot. Seriously.

Get away from the emotionalism. You were upset, yes. But they don't want to hear that. You also need to cut the fat from this letter while, at the same time, owning up to what you did/didn't do.

you wrote:
I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from xxxxxxxx. I was upset to recently receive a letter informing me that I am subject to academic dismissal. I am ashamed to admit that my low GPA is a reflection of my effort during my spring 2016 semester, but I take full responsibility for my actions.


then I wrote:
I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from xxxxxxxx. I am ashamed to admit my low GPA is a reflection of a lack of effort during the spring 2016 semester. I take full responsibility for my actions.


In particular, do you notice how I eliminated the word but? Your usage of it changes the character of the sentence. The term 'but' implies a sentence's direction is changing, but (see!) your sentence did not. Splitting it into two simple sentences and eliminating the incorrect conjunction helps take care of that.

I also want to point out, further in your letter, you mention 'I will have a weekly schedule of activities while making sure my academics come first.'

Nope.

That just looks, to them, like you are going to keep on partying on, hoping you'll somehow make it. Instead, you need to show them you've got a plan to succeed. You do not need to cloister yourself, but at the absolute minimum you need to let them know you are getting a tutor, you are going to study x hours/week, and you are going to use a calendar and follow it in order to assure you study for quizzes and hand in assignments on time. Right now, it still appears as if you have a cavalier attitude. Maybe you do; maybe you don't. But (there's that word again; see how it shows a reservation in the mind of the writer?) what you have written here does not show me seriousness of purpose, and I get the feeling the committee won't see it, either.
Gigantopithecus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jun, 2016 10:19 am
@jespah,
I fixed a couple of issues. thank you so much for your input, is this better?


Being away from home for so long was a very new experience for me, and I greatly overestimated my freedom. I made terrible choices this past year, especially during my second semester. Not going to class because I could sleep in, going to parties knowing that I had upcoming exams, and letting my social life take over my academic career. I was more irresponsible not seeking extra help when struggling in class. I am by no means proud of my actions and it is certainly not easy to admit.


I realized I lost my focus this past semester and receiving notice of my dismissal was a big wake up-call for me. I had lost sight of my purpose of coming to this university in the first place, to earn my degree. Starting with attending and being punctual to class, this was a major issue this past semester. I will see tutors for the extra help that I need, and see professors during office hours when I struggle to grasp the material. I will have a weekly schedule with adequate study hours to prepare for upcoming assignments, quizzes and exams. I will take advantage of all the resources available to me. I have contacted my adviser to retake one class I did poorly in last semester for fall 2016. I am certain that I can raise my GPA above the minimum requirement within one semester. Nothing is more important to me than graduating xxxxxx and I plan to make my schoolwork a priority.
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reenakangel
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Dec, 2016 11:25 pm
@Gigantopithecus,
what was the result? I am going through the same thing at the moment.
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