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I'm pregnant and my husband is divorcing me for the other woman.

 
 
Reply Mon 9 May, 2016 02:53 pm
my husband (42m) has been having an affair with his co-worker (38f) for the past year. We have been married for about 13 years, and our marriage has been far from perfect. I found out about the affair about 1.5 months ago the week before my father passed away from cancer. I am also 4 months pregnant with his baby. I moved out the morning I found out, and 2 weeks later I found them in bed with each other in our apartment. That evening he tried to commit suicide because I was telling the OW that we had just had sex in that same bed 2 days ago, and I have text message conversations to prove it. He denied it to her, called me a liar, went outside and slit his arm open, almost dying. Thank God he didn't die, but now he has left me, filed for divorce and wants to be with the OW, who has also left her husband of 15 years, and they have 3 young daughters together. My husband says she is everything that I wasn't. I know this is crazy and everyone tells me to move on and get over it, but it is difficult because I still love him and want to work it out for the sake of us and our children. He says he's 100% sure about the divorce. We also have a 12 year old son.
She knows I'm pregnant with his baby, I find it so heartbreaking that another woman would do this to a woman. I could never hurt another woman especially one that was pregnant regardless of how much I loved him.
What should I do, do you think their relationship will last? They talk about eventually marrying each other. I am having the hardest time healing, and normally I am a very strong ambitious woman.
 
oralloy
 
  3  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2016 03:36 pm

You need a lawyer, both to handle the divorce and to handle the child support.

Even if you still hope the guy comes back to you, there is at least a possibility that he will not, and you need to be legally prepared for that possibility. And the sooner you start getting legal advice, the sooner you can start avoiding possible legal mistakes.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Mon 9 May, 2016 05:00 pm
@Catcastaneda,
Yep, I'm with oralloy.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is monumentally unfair to you and your children.

Your husband, at the barest, absolute minimum, needs to be accountable to help out with the children he helped to bring into the world. Ideally, it would be shared custody (for the sake of the kids) but, at the very least, it has got to be financially.

See a lawyer. See a therapist. Take care of your children and yourself. When the dust settles, I think you'll see you got the better end of the deal by him leaving.
0 Replies
 
Tiger81
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Nov, 2016 10:54 am
@Catcastaneda,
First off, this woman has done nothing to you, your soon to be ex husband has. And he has made his choice.
Mdzeidh
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 12:05 am
@Catcastaneda,
Better you consult with divorce lawyers in your locality. They will give you the right guidance.

Otherwise, suicide is not a solution and think about your son's future. This is not only problem for you. Most of the women facing this kind of issues. so go with right lawyers and sit relax.
0 Replies
 
vanessafranca2304
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Mar, 2017 08:54 am
@Catcastaneda,
I am sorry that you are going through this. I can not imagine how hard it must be.
But what are you going to do moving forward?

It's very easy for me to say leave him forget him, and move on; but I know you understand him and would forgive him if you could. Yet, for whatever reason his mind is made on leaving and at the end of the day this is a blessing in disguise. Trust it.
You have something WAY bigger than this to worry about and it's your health and the baby growing inside you. Becoming desperate and depressed is directly affecting the health of the child. Go to therapy, church, listen to music, rest and eat everything your craving.
Let go, and bring that energy to your child. Move somewhere else if you can. Start new. This child can bring you more purpose and something greater to look forward to.
I really wish the best for you and will keep you in my prayers ! Take care.
0 Replies
 
ohlegal69
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 Mar, 2017 02:33 am
@Catcastaneda,
It's never easy to leave your husband after 13 years of marriage and while you are pregnant. If your husband has decided and is firm enough you certainly need a divorce, and a child support attorney.
0 Replies
 
alnjshschlgl
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 05:37 am
@Catcastaneda,
Reading this I feel really sorry for you. How come a person leaves her wife and finds another woman after 13 years.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Wed 22 Mar, 2017 08:09 am
See a a lawyer ASAP.

You don't have to file for divorce. But you can file for child support since he has abandoned the home.

First things first - you and the unborn child and safe home for you both. He OWES you that. All the other drama comes second.
jceaser147
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 May, 2017 05:10 am
@PUNKEY,
Certainly right you are.
0 Replies
 
michaelfisher
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 May, 2017 02:28 am
@Catcastaneda,
you need to move on and live your own life and thinking about your child... why to love someone, who is hurting you like this? Men come and go, you will meet another man, who will love and respect you
0 Replies
 
CocoaB
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 May, 2017 02:49 pm
@Catcastaneda,
That is awful. And disgusting. You should get together with her ex-husband. He is single, too! He can relate to your situation since she did to him what your husband did to you. Yes, I agree. That's the one thing I don't like about women. Most of them are selfish and don't respect other women's relationships. It's bad enough some men treat women badly, but it's worse when a woman treats her own kind like crap.
CocoaB
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 May, 2017 02:50 pm
@Tiger81,
She's homewrecked a marriage her own and OP's, what are you talking about? It takes two to tango.
Tiger81
 
  0  
Reply Tue 16 May, 2017 11:28 am
@CocoaB,
Her marriage is her own bus8iness and OP's issue is with her husband, hes the one that cheated on her.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jun, 2017 08:39 pm
@CocoaB,
100% agreed.
0 Replies
 
Pumnellmoo
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 Jun, 2017 09:18 am
@Catcastaneda,
As a support to your emotional strength, you deserve a better man. Your husband is a complete jerk. Don't waste your time and energy to gain his love back. Be rational. Your children need a healthy, sober and strong you! Ask for supports from your friends and families. That is what my mom did. My mom is a mother of 3 grown-ups, left the house, no clothes, no car, no shelter and no money, but still manage to provide our daily needs.
0 Replies
 
 

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