How to give an appropriate tip in America?

how much vinegar to water solution do you use?

I love using vinegar.

Doesn't hurt the paint or shine I take it?


As an aside, where I live we are under Stage 2 water restrictions...

STAGE 2 WATER RESTRICTIONS

Water only on your assigned day:
Hose-end (manual) irrigation
between midnight and 10 a.m. and/or
between 7 p.m. and midnight
Automatic sprinkler systems (make sure your sprinkler has a working rain sensor or run it manually when rain is forecasted)
between midnight and 5 a.m. and/or
between 7 p.m. and midnight
Washing vehicles at home is prohibited.
Charity car washes are prohibited.
Fountains with either a fall or spray of water greater than four inches are prohibited unless necessary to preserve aquatic life.
Restaurants may not serve water unless requested by a customer.
Commercial properties (including restaurants and bars) may only operate patio misters between 4 p.m. and midnight.
STAGE 2 WATER EXEMPTIONS

The following are allowed at any time on any day of the week:

Watering with drip irrigation, hand-held hose or a refillable container
Watering trees with a Treegator®, soaker hose or automatic tree bubbler
Watering vegetable gardens with a soaker hose

I have seen this alot...high school band, churches etc.

Cars being hand wash ... have you ever wa he'd your own car? We used to before water restrictions.

Missed this the first time around, and for large parties I can see the sense in it. Actually, also for areas that get a lot of tourists who don't know (or want to pretend they don't know) the customs here in the U.S.

For the tourist thing, I know this may make me seem like I'm profiling, but I have heard about it enough to believe it to be true. I lived in South Florida for about a decade. I knew a number of waitresses who worked in Hollywood Fla. Hollywood attracts, at least at the time, in the 1980's, a large amount of French Canadians. I understand tipping isn't a custom for them. However, my friends, many of whom were career waitresses would say they would see the same people, year after year. They usually owned time shares. Each year they would act shocked that they were expected to tip. Even worse, they would leave ridiculous tips when they did, like a nickle or a dime. News flash for those in other countries, leaving only a small value coin to wait staff is telling them their service was very very bad. It's very insulting. I remember seeing signs posted outside of restaurants in Hollywood reminding patrons that it is customary to tip for good service. To repeat, yes, this group of tourists very well knew it was the custom to tip, they were just cheap. And yes, they got good service.

Re mandatory tipping for groups over 8, I can totally get on board with that.

When I go out to eat with friends, I don't want to talk about money as far as the bill any more than I have to. I just think it's gauche, even in a casual setting. Usually when the check comes and there's only 2 people, one of us will say "I'll get this, you get it next time", or "I'll get the bill, you get the tip" It all comes out even in the end.

That seems to go out the window though, when there's four or more (or even sometimes just three) diners. If there's 4 or more people in the group, chances are I'm not close friends with all of them. That means I don't always know who the jerk is.

Dining experience over, the check comes. I already know from when I ordered that I had let's say $20 worth of food. I'll take out $25 or $26 dollars and say something like "this will cover mine with the tip, just put it in the pot" Then I'll go back talking to someone. Sure enough, there's soon this awkward silence and the person who is gathering the money says..."um, there's not enough money here, or well, there is, but not any/enough for the tip" Then comes that part that makes me want to just pick up my bag and leave, or at least go to the restroom.

Suddenly it's all "well I had the roast capybarra for $12.95 and 2 or 3 fruity cocktails so I know that must be a total of $14.00 and I put in a ten and a five, so...." and other just mind bendingly stupid garbage.

Usually though, it's not that clear who owes more, maybe everyone. It's come to where I know this is going to go on all night so I just say "here, take this extra $10 and it'll make everything fine."
I just can't be bothered.
No, I'm not rich, but I just can't be bothered. I'm just trying to digest my loin of yak and unsweet ice tea, and want it to be over.

Just think about what goes on with 8 or 10 or more people. Jesus wept.

One time I was eating at a table with no less than 16 people. It was a work situation. They were mostly managers of separate clinics, but my boss, who wasn't present was my direct supervisor, so I just indicated to the waitress to bring me the check. She would have been the one who got it anyway, handed it to me, and I would have expensed it out to each clinic. It was lunch, but a couple people had a drink, some appetizers, others dessert. A real mixed bag. Thank God the tip had been added in.
We were in no immediate rush to leave, so I got everyones attention and told them I was going to send the check around, and just initial what you had. It was the least instrusive way. I could figure it all out later. I kept an eye on it as it made itself around the table, and I knew just what would happen when it got to a particular person.

Each person glanced at the receipt, ticked off their items and handed it down the line. Until it got to HER I had noticed earlier that she ordered the full monty, soup to nuts, plus the most obviously expensive thing on the menu, and a cocktail. I still laugh at this. She took it, pretended to be engrossed with what someone was saying, vaugely looked at it, becoming absorbed in conversation again, and ever so "oh, I didn't even realize" passed it on.

So, when I got back to the office, I charged everything to her that didn't have someone initials next to it. When she got her monthly budget statement she complained I said "Well, I didn't see your name anywhere, so I assumed everything left over was yours. I'm certainly not going to go around asking everyone what exactly they drank or if they shared an appetizer for something a month ago.

She hated me. I didn't care. She was a bonafide member of the cheap bastard club.

Good for you. I cannot stand cheap people. Fortunately for me I've come across more often the opposite where it is almost too much money no one wants to be the cheapo so they throw in too much...

As far ad French Canadians I have to agree. My husband used to manage restaurants and he often commented on it. In one situation I was with a friend and her sorta boyfriend a french Canadian who had a business here locally so he had to know our customs.

Anyway our food was discounted as my hubby managed the place so he offered to pay and leave the tip. We didn't know what he left. So my hubby came over and asked if there was a problem because the tip was so low...my friend was very embarrassed and we came up with the difference
for the appropriate tip. My husband said this was common with canadians.

I use one cup of vinegar to a bucket of water. the green stuff is about the same proportion.

Since I don't use detergent I find I don't have to use very much water. Not like the old days when people soaped up their cars and then spent half an hour rinsing them off and soap still being on the car <shudder>

Between my dad, uncle, their pals and my generation, we've been using vinegar for 50+ years with no damage noted to the car finishes.

Dehumidifier water works well so no water has to come from a hose tho it can be fun on a hot day.

__

Looks like your water problems are the exact opposite of ours. We tend to have run-off problems, not water restrictions. We have to have roof rain diffusers so the run-off doesn't all end up in one spot and cause damage.

yup. for decades.

Ugh.
The only way I can understand this is because a Canadian on A2k came to visit Austin once, so we got together.

We were having coffee, and it was so sweet the way she brought this up.

She said that her husband (who I met briefly before he took off exploring while us gals gabbed) didn't believe that Americans really tipped the way he had been told. He really thought his leg was being pulled.

She said she didn't want to be embarrassed, and asked me if she left a certain percentage would people think she wasn't tipping enough, or too much.

I let her know what she was considering was totally appropriate, that it's what anyone would leave.
She seemed so relieved. Like that was one thing taken care of.
She indicated now her husband would believe her, as she had verified it with an actual American.

Then again, this was the husbands first experience. I would imagine if he did business here, he'd catch on.

I'm just musing here....

Addressed to the other Yanks here, but maybe best answered by others not from the U.S.

Is just maybe the problem people from other countries have with the concept of tipping not so much this "you're promoting poverty, people going on the breadline" but just being awkward with it because it's not something they've had as much experience with?

I mean, here we're so casual about it, it's not even something we think about. It's just part of the cost of doing something. The fact that someone from another land doesn't encounter it (or as much) makes it seem like a special moment to figure out.

Yes? No? Maybe?

The first time i went to Ireland, i learned that they are offended by being tipped. (I can't say if that is still true.) Therefore, when i went there in 1978, i first obtained two rolls of uncirculated (not yet circulated) Kennedy half dollars, and in situations in which i was sure it would not offend, i would give those as tips.

In the United States, the minimum wage for restaurant servers is $2.13/hour, with the employer to make up the difference if their wages and tips received do not add up to the Federal minimum wage. That system is absurdly unworkable. Servers are not going to want to accurately report their tips, and employers are unlikely to cooperate with such a regulation. The situation is more hopelessly complicated by several other factors. In my experience, and as reported to me by the servers i've known (and i've known quite a few), women are real cheapskates about tipping, and some servers i've known say they are the loudest complainers of the quality of the service and/or the food. A waitress in a diner could be run off her feet and wouldn't make much even if everyone there tipped her 15%, which is by no means assured. A server in a white table cloth restaurant can get more in tips from a couple of tables than a diner waitress makes in an entire shift. Tipping based on the quality of the food or on how promptly the customer perceives it to have been served is fundamentally unjust, as the waiter or waitress has absolutely no control over the performance of the kitchen staff, or how promptly their orders are put up to be served. Those are matters for complaints to management (if the food isn't properly prepared, or it is only lukewarm or even cold, send it back), and certainly their is nothing more churlish than to punish the waiter or waitress because you were unsatisfied with the food for some reason.

I suspect the habit of tipping came to us from England. There was an entire culture of tipping there (at one time, i could not speak to the situation today). Even as early as the 11th century, tipping was known, and from then until at least the late 19th century, tipping was not necessarily based on the service rendered, but on how the person tipping wished to be perceived. England was a turbulent place until Henry II took the throne in 1154, but some records do survive which suggest that someone who wished to appear important or wealthy might tip a half penny, but always at least a farthing (a fourth of a penny). The silver penny of England, from Anglo Saxon times until late in the 18th century, was the day wage for a peasant--they had no conception of inflation, and although a penny was a significant amount of money in 1154, when Henry II took the throne, it was almost an insult by the 17th century. The silver penny was a little more than half the size and weight of an American silver dime in the period before 1964.

If you asked someone for directions, you would tip them (unless they were well-dressed), and members of the lower classes counted on that--at the same time they would lead you to your destination, or find a chair or a coach for you if it were too far off to walk. Chairmen expected at least a half crown (two and a half shillings--a shilling was worth 12 pence), or a crown for longer distances. As chairmen were large, burly men, you would want to be generous. It was not unknown for chairmen to beat someone they considered a cheapskate. One could also order a chair, but in that case, the fee would be negotiated, and paid, before you were taken to your destination. A carriage or coach cost a good deal more, of course, and hackney coaches were the early equivalent of a taxi cab. One was still expected to tip in order to show that one was a "swell" or a "nob." (Nob was not then insulting--it was a verbal abbreviation of nabob, someone who had returned from India with conspicuous wealth.) Boys would wait at the docks, or the steps along the river Thames where boatmen would deliver their passengers, and carry one's luggage--they expected sixpence for the service. A swell might give them a shilling. They would also wait outside a theater or a house where a "rout" was taking place (an evening party to which people went to see and be seen),j in the hope of holding the horses heads, and expected at least sixpence for the service. Once again, to appear affluent or important, one paid more. An ambitious boy might make a couple of shillings a day for carrying luggage or holding horses' heads, and in the late 18th century and early 19th century, in London, at least, that was what a laborer earned in day. There were, of course, far fewer opportunities than willing boys--fights sometimes broke out, which carriage drivers would break up with their whips. Truly wealthy people had postillions and coach boys and there was no question that "blackguard boys" would not approach such a carriage. Tips for waiters were also fixed and not dependent on the bill, and once again, one would advertise one's wealth or importance by the size of the tip. After the invention of the telegraph, message boys would deliver your telegrams to you, and usually expected sixpence for the service. If you didn't pay up, you could expect word to get around, and your telegraphic correspondents would deliver their messages faster by walking to your house.

We'll have to ask our English friends if tipping is still so pervasive there, but i doubt that it is. It was once as pervasive in North America, but very quickly came to be seen as "undemocratic" in the United States. There were few restaurants in the early republic, and meals at inns were catered by the innkeeper, and usually served by him, his wife and possibly his children, or someone he hired for the occasion. Tipping probably became common in the Untied States once again as American travelers aped the manners of those whom they encountered while traveling in Europe.

When you talk about the diner waitress vs. white table cloth - I look at it as a different level of experience in waitstaff - more experienced you are (and the better you are) you tend to get the better paying jobs --- similar to say working in a clinic as a nurse vs. a major hospital - pay will be higher for those that are better workers. Usually a white table cloth restaurant is not going to hire a server without experience whereas a diner would.

I know this isn't always the case - you can get an excellent diner waitress and a poor white table server - there can be other reasons a diner waitress works where she does rather than just her experience and performance.

My personal experience and I think it is in part because my hubby used to manage restaurants is I do tip a little differently. For example when my kids were young and say I went out to eat with just them -- knowing the bill would be lower because they just got kids meals and in reality we might be a bit more demanding because of mess or extra drinks, etc. I will leave more than the 20% knowing s/he had to work just as hard will a lower bill.

Almost like you say about diners -- so I always have in mind if the bill is lower - I may give a higher % as a result.

Not sure if everyone thinks this way - but more because I understand the situation.

That could be true - I know when I was a teen and the first time by mom sent me to get my hair cut by myself. I felt awkward tipping the hair stylist. Maybe in part because I was a kid and she an adult or maybe because I had never done it before.

I can afford to eat out, but I can fill my (Families') bellies for a month for the cost of 1 meal in a plush kitchen.
And I can never visit the US.
Cheers for your insightfulness, btw.

'Stiff'?
I pay for tools, goats and wells for sub-saharan communities, so they have food, water and a means to exist.
Yeah - I'm a horrible piece of crud, ain't I?

Funny. I was thinking about just this.

I too remember getting my hair cut, and feeling very clumsy about handing him some money.

Yeah, that phase when you're a teenager, going out with friends to a restaurant, feeling so grown up.

Being a teen for me meant back in the 1970's. At that time obviously a dollar meant a lot more. So many everyday items cost way less than a dollar, where same things today cost $3, $4 or more.

So, coins meant something. According to the menu below from 1973, you and a pal could get the 2 most expensive sammiches on the menu, some sanka , leave some dimes and nickles as a tip, and be the big spender.

You don't cut your own hair?

Do they still make Sanka?


My grandmother always drank Sanka.

She also loved Tang, because it was part of "the breakfast of astronauts"

She was so cutting edge.

I don't agree with you about waitresses in diners--many of those i have known have years and years of experience. Many of the white table cloth waiters and waitresses i have known were university students--their only superior skill, if any, was in being somewhat better spoken when they applied for the job. Many diner waitresses have children in school--they can work daytime hours in a diner, but not evening hours in a white table cloth restaurant. In the evenings, their children are at home.

Thank you!

The norm in the US (for people who are not cheapskates) is 18%

If the service is terrible reduce the tip accordingly.

If the food is terrible, it's not the fault of the waitstaff.

The least I tip under any circumstances is 20% If the service was bad, I won't return to the establishment.

In places we frequent on a regular basis I usually tip at 30% The difference in dollars for me is not significant and the benefit is that we receive special attention from the entire waitstaff. Good tippers must leave an impression.

Now a 30% tip doesn't get you anything if you're a jerk with your waiter or waitress. A combination of being nice and tipping large has never failed to get me extra attention in places I frequent, and who doesn't like it when the waitstaff knows your preferences in terms of cocktails or will make sure you get a dish that is off menu?

For me at least, the amount of money involved is not significant and worth what I am purchasing: A friendly face who greets me by name and spends a little time chatting about his or her family, plans on what to do after graduating etc.

I've worked hard to get where I am and where I am is not needing to pinch pennies or worry about how much the tab is at my favorite eateries. I'm not making anyone rich with my tips but I think I make them happy for a short while.

Plus, people who are mean to the waitstaff are often not terribly nice people. It costs you nothing (not just you, personally; please don't think I'm singling you out) to not be a jerk to the people who bring your food.