How to give an appropriate tip in America?

because that is how one work culture has developed. in the US you are expected to pay separately for the product (meal) and the service

To raise money some groups will hold a free car wash where they ask for donations - you give whatever amount you feel will help. I seen other types of fund raisers as well - sometimes they will have a suggested donation however, more times than not - they leave it open.

There is no asking price - so in this situation do you not leave money or do you just take?

I've never seen anything like that and have no idea what I'd do if faced with it (other than not take my car anywhere near a car wash not run by professionals).

Also, agreeing that whether or not as an individual we chose to stiff a waitstaff person has no bearing on what will come down the line re legislation.

Yes, I see where someday people in certain jobs that depend on tips will instead have their hourly rate raised. But will it be raised enough? Again, that's another story.
Perhaps it feels different looking at in from another country. People in the U.S. (well, most people) do realize that a change in the system must take place. But we're also aware that if someone as an individual just says "I'm going to just stop tipping", it's not going to make change come any quicker. More importantly, it just makes you a cheap bastard, and hurts the person who just took care of you.

There's no magic wand that can be waved where suddenly 90% of restaurant goers say "I'm going to stop tipping, and that means next week all waitstaff will be awarded with a higher wage"

First the solution must be implemented, then the "problem" can go away. To think otherwise is naive.

It's not a Catch 22. It's not as if lawmakers are saying "Why should we change this, people are already tipping"
Believe it or not, there is a process in the U.S. for changing things like this. Unfortunately it can be a long process. So not tipping someone today will do nothing but short change them today.

There's the world that can be, and the world as it it. We can work toward the former, but have to live in the latter.

If the proceeds where going to a cause I support, I would pay exactly what I would have paid a car wash, but not the tip I'd give to the person who wiped down my car afterwards.

In the United States I have seen on many of occasions where there was a fund raising car wash where they accepted whatever you wanted to donate. There was no actual price for the car wash. TECHNICALLY the car wash is free. It's usually teenage kids who are chaperone and organize by adults trying to raise money for some specific cause. If someone were to take advantage of these kids by getting a car wash and not donating any money would be heartless. Stiffing the charity or the cause that these kids are fund raising for would be heartless. These car wash fund raisers are not that uncommon in the United States.

Although technically the car wash is free, it is customary to give a donation to help the charity or the cause that these kids are fund raising for.

You'd actually let them touch your car? I can see donating something to keep them away - if it was a cause I supported.

You mean letting them wash your car?

Serious question, what do you think they are going to do to it with sponges, soapy water, paper towels, windex and maybe some Armour All?

Here's a typical high school type car wash. Move along, nothing to see here. Just a bunch of teens washing cars.

I've seen the results. My ex used to go to those (not a donation situation) and then take his vehicle to a proper car wash to have the vehicle redone. He switched to just giving them $ to drive past.

3 things that aren't going to touch my car / 2 that have been used for other cars? not happening

why would someone bother doing this?

Because they're heartless.

Jerks that want something for nothing.

What do you wash your car with?

You ask why would these kids do these car wash fund raiser knowing that they are only taking donation. In the United States people simply donate from the heart knowing that it is for a good cause. I have personally never known anyone to stiff a charity fund raising car wash. I'm not saying it can't happen. I'm just saying it would be highly unusual for something like that to happen. These kids know every car they wash the person is going to give a donation. It's just customary. They would be shocked if someone were to not donate. That would be unthinkable. In the United States that kind of thing would be rare and quite strange.

Don't they have to pay / donate upfront?

That's how car washes work here. You pay before they do whatever they're going to do to it.

That's true Beth. Got a point there.

fresh sponge
fresh water
vinegar (no detergents)
green antibio car rinse to get bug protein and stuff like that off
vinegar
fresh water
no paper towels ever - we have cloths for that
fresh chamois

dry car in the shade

no spots/no streaks/no paint damage

I grew up with 2 car freaks and 1 cleaning fanatic

baking soda/vinegar are the cleaning ingredients of preference in most situations

nope. I didn't ask that.

Sometimes the donation is given up front. Sometimes the donation is given after the car has been washed. Some of these car washes might suggest an amount up front. For example they might suggest $5 for a donation. People would donate that $5 without any hesitation. In some cases the customer might donate $10, $20, or a higher amount just because they want to help their cause.

did you watch that? dirty sponges <shudder>
soap not being rinsed off properly
streaks all over

yuck

I guess if you had a thick coat of mud on your vehicle you could go there before going to a car wash or cleaning your vehicle yourself