RNC to Stadium owner, can we allow Open Carry at the RNC event in your venue?
Stadium owner calls insurance company...
Hello, how much would it cost us to change our policy to allow open carry at the facility during the RNC? Yes, we're serious, why? Yes, I assume Donald Trump will be there, as will all the remaining candidates. Yes, they will probably be milling around in the crowd shaking hands and what-not. No, we won't be allowed to discriminate based on who enters the event. So yes, I assume people with turbans will be allowed. Yes, people of any race and any religion will all have to be allowed. Yes, they will all be allowed to carry any type of gun they want as long as it's not an automatic weapon. No, pipe bombs and grenades will still be restricted, and now that you mention it, we don't even allow firecrackers, those are too dangerous. Yes, toy guns that look like automatic weapons will still be banned, those could be mistaken for real weapons and cause an issue, "accidentally" of course.
You have to speak with your legal team, yes, I'll hold... Ok, you have to add a paragraph to our policy, that's fine. The paragraph starts with what? Well, I think the term Bloodbath is a bit overstated, don't you? What? Yes, I guess Massacre sounds a bit better... oh, you want to use them both, not one or the other, I see. (Cha Ching) It's gonna cost WHAT!?
Stadium owner to RNC: NO, you may not allow open carry at the event! Click.