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Mon 16 Aug, 2004 11:53 pm
Sounds like it had to be much more than you being "stressed out" for you to have lost legal custody of your kids to your brother.
If we knew the entire story, we could probably offer some advice.
I agree with Phoenix. If you asked your brother if your children could stay with him for awhile, why did you give up custody of them? Did you give up custody or was he awarded custody? Is it court ordered that your kids can't come to your house? If so, why?
If you can give us more information, we'll do our best to help.
As Phoenix said, there has to be a story as to why you no longer have custody.
I agree with Phoenix and Montana. If your temporary custody arrangement with your brother was simply an informal, family matter the courts would not be involved.
Why do your brother and the judge object to you regaining custody?
I'm curious too.
I know a bit about custody proceedures and I'm guessing that there is more to this story too.
Re: I am going through a custody case that is getting nasty.
Are you represented by counsel? If not, the time is way past due for finding representation. Get a lawyer right away!
I'm not sure thats true Debra_Law.
My husband and I sucessful petitioned for third party custody under Oregon's "Psycological Parent" law. It is now no longer assumed that his parents act in his best interest and they, if they ever chose to try to regain custody, will have to prove that their biology outranks his psychology.
In other words - he is not theirs for the asking anymore.
exceptional circumstances
A natural parent has a paramount, fundamental, constitutionally-protected right to custody of her children to the exclusion of all others. There are only two instances when that right can be defeated: 1) The parent is unfit; or 2) extraordinary circumstances.
See, e.g.,
Lott v. Earles
You're right, Debra_Law, we did have to prove exceptional circumstances.
And you're right again- there has to be a lot more to this story.
Thanks for the link. I try to keep on top of custody issues that may affect me. It is such a complicated area of law.
Phoenix32890 wrote:Sounds like it had to be much more than you being "stressed out" for you to have lost legal custody of your kids to your brother.
If we knew the entire story, we could probably offer some advice.
i had the children go with him only for school. there was no other circumstances surrounding it. i was in a shelter and i didnot want them to be subjected to that. we have what is called joint legal custody...he only has physical because they are residing with him.
Montana wrote:I agree with Phoenix. If you asked your brother if your children could stay with him for awhile, why did you give up custody of them? Did you give up custody or was he awarded custody? Is it court ordered that your kids can't come to your house? If so, why?
If you can give us more information, we'll do our best to help.
As Phoenix said, there has to be a story as to why you no longer have custody.
i had the children go with him only for school. there was no other circumstances surrounding it. i was in a shelter and i didnot want them to be subjected to that. we have what is called joint legal custody...he only has physical because they are residing with him. when i got on my feet...they were to come home...well i`ve done that and he`s acting different for some reason...i donot know why.
I had the children go with him only for school. there was no other circumstances surrounding it. i was in a shelter and i didnot want them to be subjected to that. we have what is called joint legal custody...he only has physical because they are residing with him. when i got on my feet...they were to come home...well i`ve done that and he`s acting different for some reason...i donot know why. the judge agreed with both of us that the interest of the children are in line. there is no history of drug abuse or anything of that nature. bottom line...the children were to go there till i got on my feet. the purpose of the joint legal custody was to show proof that they are my children living with their uncle for the time being to start school....nothing more. my brother has turned this into something other than what it is.
It is admirable, nikki, that you wanted your children to be in a safe environment and that you did not subject them to a shelter when there were other options.
I'm curious about why your brother would not let you stay there when he was willing to take in your kids.
I think your brother might have had a different agenda from the beginning. There are many ways that he could have had informal custody, allowing him to enroll your kids in school and see medical care for them, etc., without having to go before a judge for a formal custody agreement.
I think the first thing you need to do is to find out why your brother is acting this way. Could it be that your kids want to stay there and he's doing this at their request?
If he's unwilling to talk to you about it you should look into mediation -- someone to help you sort it all out and find out what is going on.
I also wonder why your brother didn't take you in as well. How long have your children been living with your brother? If you have never been accused of being unfit, then you have a very good case in court, providing that your children haven't been living with your brother for several years.
Debra_Law knows her stuff and I would follow her advice very carefully.
First thing you need to do is get a lawyer ASAP, as the longer you wait, the harder it will get.
Good luck to you and keep us updated.
Exactly what are the advantages that the court sees your kids will have staying with your brother as opposed to moving back with you?
No one is calling you an unfit mother--it's just that the basic story doesn't make sense yet. Can you give us some details?
child custody
boomerang wrote:It is admirable, nikki, that you wanted your children to be in a safe environment and that you did not subject them to a shelter when there were other options.
I'm curious about why your brother would not let you stay there when he was willing to take in your kids.
I think your brother might have had a different agenda from the beginning. There are many ways that he could have had informal custody, allowing him to enroll your kids in school and see medical care for them, etc., without having to go before a judge for a formal custody agreement.
I think the first thing you need to do is to find out why your brother is acting this way. Could it be that your kids want to stay there and he's doing this at their request?
If he's unwilling to talk to you about it you should look into mediation -- someone to help you sort it all out and find out what is going on.
I have spoken to my brother to why he is acting like this to me and he`s says that he is only one who can teach them how to be men....i find that very hard to believe and also.....i didnot chose to live with my brother because it was no room there for me with my children and his wife and 2 children. I really think it is a money thing with him. my children want to come home and i want them home.
Montana wrote:I also wonder why your brother didn't take you in as well. How long have your children been living with your brother? If you have never been accused of being unfit, then you have a very good case in court, providing that your children haven't been living with your brother for several years.
Debra_Law knows her stuff and I would follow her advice very carefully.
First thing you need to do is get a lawyer ASAP, as the longer you wait, the harder it will get.
Good luck to you and keep us updated.
I have spoken to my brother to why he is acting like this to me and he`s says that he is only one who can teach them how to be men....i find that very hard to believe and also.....i didnot chose to live with my brother because it was no room there for me with my children and his wife and 2 children. I really think it is a money thing with him. my children want to come home and i want them home.
child custody
Noddy24 wrote:Exactly what are the advantages that the court sees your kids will have staying with your brother as opposed to moving back with you?
No one is calling you an unfit mother--it's just that the basic story doesn't make sense yet. Can you give us some details?
I have spoken to my brother to why he is acting like this to me and he`s says that he is only one who can teach them how to be men....i find that very hard to believe and also.....i didnot chose to live with my brother because it was no room there for me with my children and his wife and 2 children. I really think it is a money thing with him. my children want to come home and i want them home.
nikki--
How does your brother profit financially? Where does the money come from?
Why does the court feel your kids are better with our brother?
How old are your children?
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