Speaking from experience, if the noncustodial parent chooses to not be involved, do not force it. Our daughter is 14 yrs old now. Her father used to park his truck in front of our home and walk next-door to see his brother, but not take the time to walk to 50 ft to our front-door to see his daughter.
When he did make the time it was sporadic at best. Once every few months (three or four times per year for twenty minutes). I finally had enough of it and him hurting her like that and told him if he could not be there to stop telling her he would see her in a few days.
The court told him to do a step by step visitation to get to know his daughter before he could take her on his own anywhere.... he made the first two visits and stopped.
He consistently does not pay other than when he gets arrested and has to pay a bond to get out. I can show his last 12 payments (some payments are split in two) and they range from 2009 through 2015. One payment was for 9.37, but it counts.
The last time we were in court the judge told him if he did not pay he would have another warrant issues and his next bond would be increased. This happened. However, when he was arrest a few weeks ago they actually appointed him a court appointed attorney and reduced his bond to half of what it was. Then they released him with the contingency that he return in September and sometime between now and then he pays an additional amount.
Here is my issue with that. HE NEVER reappears. We always have to wait for another warrant and then another few years until they can track him down. He always has someone willing to pay him under the table, so he does not get a regular paycheck. He does not use a bank. So, how exactly are we supposed to collect any child support from someone who doesn't want to be found?
This is what we have done for fourteen years. I waste my vacation time to go to court, because they tell me I am required to be there. Otherwise my opinion will not be voiced. Not that it ever makes an impact. The ONE time I do not go (but I write a letter to be excused and voiced my opinion in the letter) because it was my first vacation in fifteen years and I had family in from Europe and we already had vacation plans and reservations.... the above happens.
The Texas Child Support System sucks. It does not look at what is in the best interest of the child. The judge and the DA and the OAG only look to get their numbers up on their cases. They made an arrest, they made headway.... for who?
The bond he posted is still sitting there - it will be forfeited if he doesn't show up.... WTH!
So, here I am writing this and getting active.
I am writing my OAG, my state representative, my Senator and my Governor and everyone else I can think of to change the way the system works.
Its not about the money, its about doing what is write in all fairness for the children involved in this. Both financially and emotionally and of course what is best for them physically.
I have a friend who was a local DA for a few years, he gave me my next step. Because our situation is beyond civil and has turned to a criminal with the amount he owes in back child support, the lack of contact with the child and the lack of willingness to pay and the pattern I can show of evading the situation. So I am going to the our local PD to file a criminal complaint, to the DA office for the same reason, to the local OAG-CS office for the same reason.
Check with a local attorney within your area and get a free consult and ask whether your case has reached the point of being criminal yet. and then contact wherever the CS was filed and pursue every avenue you have.
Do not sit still. But so everything legally and by the books and keep a written log of everything.
Who you call, their name, date and time and conversation that took place. Results - Yes or no.
I wish you the best in your journey - its not easy.