Tattoo of "Optimistic nihilist"

Well, Im an 18 year old guy. I found out about nihilism quite recently. I do share the same typ of view of nihilism. And i accept and believe it. Apart from the pessemistic part of it. I do feel that life has some typ of meaning, or i feel like im more of a optimistic nihilist. I was given this random thing called counscioness. And a body. Even though it has no purpose or meaning itself, compared to everything else. Why not take this chance at life and live it. Explore, love, feel, learn. And when my death comes. Ill be happy to go into non-existence. But i feel like, when i am on my deathbed. I want to feel "finished". Like ive seen everything there is to see, felt everything there is to feel and so on. Like finishing a videogame.. To feel "done". I have two questions: I have not felt the depressing part of nihilism yet, well ofc some party of it has made me feel down. But I dont think i fully understand it. Fully understand the so called meaninglessness of everything. I fear if i keep thinking of nihilism, that it will backfire from my optimistic view of nihilism, to a pessimistic/depressive way. So will it? Or have I already got past that part. And second question: Should i Tatto in "Optimistic Nihilist". I wanna live life without fear and regrets. But instincts makes that hard. But i want to. So i wont have any regrets on my deathbed. And that tattoo will always bring me back to this point right now, and i will remeber to always see the bigger bicture. That small problems in life are meaningless. So should i tattoo my self with this type of philosophy. Maybe i already know the anwer.. cuz im asking random people for advice on the internet. Would be happy if you shared your perspective of nihilism and if its optimistic way of thinking is worth printing on my arm. Maybe im just a confused teenager. Thanks