@onevoice,
onevoice wrote:I know that there are still some twisted things in my brain. I want to weed them out. I've been trying to do it on my own because I don't like asking for help. Primarily because I have spent the last 15 years being wacked from every angle you could think of and I am tired of it. I do still believe in God, but I also know there are greater truths to be discovered due to some of the false things I have believed.
I'm not qualified to help you with most of what you wrote. I know how science currently understands the Universe and I know what works for me, but I don't know the path you've traveled or what might be blocking your way ahead.
But if it helps, I can tell you from my own experience that there is a non-religious view of the world which is profoundly elegant and rewarding and comfortable. For me it comes from simply observing and understanding the natural world without judging it. I don't need to go to church to see it, I don't need to hear it from someone else. It doesn't ask for money and it doesn't ask me to believe things which don't make any sense. We are born with it and it is the first way we perceive the world. We carry it with us all the time and as long as it isn't blocked by the rubble of false assumptions and religious dogma, it is refreshed every time we stop and look around.
I hate to quote old TV shows for advice, but I'm going to do it anyway, so as Master Po once said to young Caine, "Know when to let go of the things which no longer serve you".