Do the 9/11 rememberance ceremonies help or hurt bereaved people?

Same question goes for any tragic event which we hold anniversary celebrations for.

I was listening to a radio programme the other day in which a lady whose husband had died in the 9/11 attacks said that the celebrations made her feel like a living symbol of the event, and that her husband had been made into a symbol of everything she stood against (as in, the government used his death as an excuse to go to war).

Do governments actually consider the impact of memorial celebrations on survivors or bereaved people's lives? Are they healthy?