Teehee - coming down the freeway from the hills early in the am, if there is nobody around, I like to drive on the cats' eyes - and pretend to be a train...... blush!
ahhhhhhhhh
afternoon delight
i loved that song
Ditto! Well sort of hated it - but loved the concept - and I was a student then, so......heehee
I was in uni - we applied the lessons found therein.
errrrrrr this isn't the oral sex thread is it?
The blushing peppers of marycat.
Teehee!!!!! Lunch with a difference!
Hi Deb! Excuse me, but, I digress!How to Torture Telemarketers
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you sure could use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I am so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name, then company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
6. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out Goat blood? How about Human blood?
9. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the Telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I am not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, How's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up..louder...louder ...louder...
20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write down EVERY WORD !
dlowan wrote:hmmm - I said that I have revealed a few of my more vanilla flavoured secrets - can you not reciprocate?
don't have many "vanilla" flavoured secrets, alot of dark, dark, chocolate ones though. suffice it to say that when anything strange happened in my neighborhood, the police always came looking for me first.
Joan Dark is a tormenter!!! I notice the "Seinfeld Manouvre" is in there.
Hmmmmmmm - sounds as though your dark chocolate secrets are on a par with my vanilla ones, in terms of relative awfulness, given the general nature of the secrets held by each of us - can we have some of your dark chocolate ones, then?
maybe not right now. they are very dark, dark, secrets. maybe one day.
luckily for me the marine corps straightened me out, to be a fine upstanding citizen.
stop laughing, deb! it's true
Are you standing up ALL the time!!!!! (Poor guy - look what they did to him!!!!!)
dlowan wrote:Are you standing up ALL the time!!!!! (Poor guy - look what they did to him!!!!!)
standing all the time.
someone must stand and be counted, right?
g'night all!
I'm going to have to try #2 and #4.
*ahem* that looked really out of context and confusing. I mean #2 and #4 off of Joan's list of entertaining things to do to telemarketers.
pueo, that must be exhausting. Do you even stand up in your sleep? Sharks keep swimming in their approximation of sleep. I usually lie down, though.
sleep? what's that? does it require lying down?
I thought you went to bed? tee hee --- Oh. That doesn't sound very good either!
Minnamurra -- I remembered it, but wanted to refresh my memory and then couldn't find it. AAkkkk. I like the sound of it.
Telemarketers can always be picked on, but sometimes I'm nice and let them say the whole thing (I imagine their supervisor standing over them, looking down approvingly), but I've set the phone down and don't say a word... ever.
JoanDark, I see lots of fun for me in my future. Now come on telephone - ring!!
