...the only way of dealing with the word "reality"
If you can't sleep, look up anti-representationalism. You might learn something !
Nominalism is a metaphysical view in philosophy according to which general or abstract terms and predicates exist, while universals or abstract objects, which are sometimes thought to correspond to these terms, do not exist...Nominalism is primarily a position on the problem of universals, which dates back at least to Plato, and is opposed to realism – the view that universals do exist over and above particulars.
Your perception of reality stops when you die, so then you perceive non existence.
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
And with their swords they shot one another.
British Childrens Rhyme.