6
   

Do Women Sexualize Themselves?

 
 
Olivier5
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 10:51 am
@mismi,
Quote:
Being a sexual being and actually setting myself up to achieve sex ("sexualizing" myself) should be two different things.

Okay for this alternative definition, as long as it's understood along the same pragmatic lines of putting on a good front and showing some skin or cleavage as Eliusa's definition. I would call it: 'prettying up with a view to get lucky.' (there must be nicer ways to put it)

Because one can "set oneself up to achieve sex" in other ways, such as internet dating, or offering oneself to people in the street for that matter.

As I said earlier, since the highest antiquity women (and men too) have practiced the noble art of beauty enhancement -- quite frequently as a way to get noticed sexually and consequently laid. Is that a bad thing?

Let's ask the feminine press, who makes massive profit from it:

http://www.jesuisfeministe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/tiny.turk-@-flickr.jpg
mismi
 
  2  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 11:07 am
@Olivier5,
Well...I thought we were talking about me. Razz
I tend to be self involved...take that any way you'd like.

Eh...of course there is nothing wrong with dressing up to get lucky.

I just don't think it should be assumed just because I am clean and my breath smells good and I put on some lip gloss I want to get laid. But other folks - it could be different.

Eliusa
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 11:25 am
@mismi,
I said total opposite to what you read.
I said shower is not sexualizing.
Makeup is.
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 12:50 pm
@mismi,
Sure. Hence intent is an important aspect. But i would argue that 'in order to seduce' should be the right formulation of the motive, rather than 'get laid'. Seduction goes beyond mere sex.

In short: "prettying up to seduce."
mismi
 
  3  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 12:53 pm
@Olivier5,
But seriously - putting on makeup does not mean you are sexualizing yourself. Of course you COULD be.

I don't have enough breath in my body....

Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 01:04 pm
@mismi,
From your own posts, i got the idea that intent matters: it makes a difference whether you're putting that gloss just to look good to yourself, as many women say they do, or with the desire to please a particular someone and attract him or her in your carefully manicured, expert manipulative hands... ;-)
mismi
 
  2  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 01:12 pm
@Olivier5,
Lord have mercy.

No body wants to look like shat going out. Ok - so some don't care. I have seen the People of Walmart site. eeesh.

If I didn't have a mirror I suppose it wouldn't matter as much.

So my intent when I put on the lip gloss and take a bath and brush my teeth - yes and even do my hair is so other's will not be grossed out and not mind having contact with me in general day to day transactions. I am not wanting to seduce them. Honest to God.

I try to leave folks and places better than when I got there -
nothing sexual implied. Of course intent matters. Very Happy

But sure - some women may want folks salivating for sex when they do the same thing. I can't speak for everyone. That sounds more like a personal problem to me though.

Quote:
From your own posts, i got the idea that intent matters: it makes a difference whether you're putting that gloss just to look good to yourself, as many women say they do, or with the desire to please a particular someone and attract him or her in your carefully manicured, expert manipulative hands... ;-)


.....manipulative hands

you are something else.
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 01:23 pm
@mismi,
Okay, relevant hygiene, dress codes and good manners apply. This said, the presence of make up in that arsenal of good manners seems bordeline to a man like me, who would never use it. Make up does technically concern enhanced seductiveness more than hygiene and good manners.
0 Replies
 
mismi
 
  2  
Reply Sat 14 Feb, 2015 01:28 pm
@mismi,
ok....ok....ok....

So I have been thinking about this as if I am now. I am happily married. My husband has seen me at my worst and says he still loves me so I have no need to visually please him - though I like to. Smile So - some of it is so that he will be proud of me.

But if I wasn't married I am sure I would do it then just in case. I mean you never know when you will meet someone that would be THEE one.

However - the same still applies. Sometimes being clean and put together (which would imply fixing hair to a certain degree and a minimum of makeup - in my opinion anyway - I am just an old fashioned southern girl - so...) just means you grew up being told that was the least you could do when you went out. Other folks don't care what they look like. I admire that too.

Now if I put my push up bra on and do my cat-eye liner and red lips - baby, you would know what I was after. THAT would be sexualizing myself....at least for me. But there would be action as well. You don't want to waste all that effort.

Now - some girls dress like that all the time. Sounds exhausting putting that vibe out all the time but ok. No - nothing is wrong with that.

I still think one should be careful thinking that just because a woman has makeup on she is putting herself out there. Sure she wants people to think she is sexy - attractive. But it doesn't mean she wants to have sex with whoever sees her. But I see where that could be considered sexualizing yourself. It should not be seen as an invitation is all I am saying.
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Sun 15 Feb, 2015 11:08 am
@Olivier5,
Yeah...right??? lol
I never say I put makeup to like myself more.
If I do - there is a reason to make people whoo haaaa...or whatever.
But women so used to deny it so I am not surprised they are
believing their own words. Written or told.

But you can see trough us, right? Smile
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Sun 15 Feb, 2015 11:12 am
@mismi,
I do not think 'southern girl' means 'modest and shy' after Toddlers in tiaras and Dancing Moms something...

Just be true to yourself and say it out loud - when you are applying that lipstick what goes trough your mind?
I'll tell you what goes trough mine - good enough to fk!
Or sexy as hell. Or he better die. Or she better die. LOL

This subject will never have a winner but it is fun to talk about it right?
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Sun 15 Feb, 2015 11:38 am
@mismi,
Huh huh... I know the drill. My wife can't go out without make-up either. And her Air du Temps... Ok for it not being an invitation, and a social expectation.

Still, nothing wrong in sexing up a bit. Shouldn't be overdone and bitchy, that's a downer.
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Sun 15 Feb, 2015 11:40 am
@Eliusa,
A little bit... Smile
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 08:50 am
@Olivier5,
You can see trough us a little bit
or
it is fun talking about it...little bit? LOL

How do you friggin quote in this place?
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 11:11 am
@Eliusa,
I understand women a little bit. Not as much as i would like to though ... Smile
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 12:54 pm
@Olivier5,
If you understood more wouldn't that be just bo-ring?
Love Unplugged
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 02:49 pm
There is nothing wrong in sexualizing oneself. The term used and its intention is well challenged and deserved to be. The most concept accurate term should be self-esteem. Nothing wrong with looking good for yourself and others. The appropriateness level do come into question at times and the motives or attire choices should not be jumped to so hastely. Respect shouldn't be part of the equation in this question.

Men are also sexualized with the sort of differences we accept and perform. So in effect we are portraying what we want to the world and we need to accept what the world throws back at us
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 03:20 pm
@lizaveta,


Certainly, "some" women have body dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, depression and consequently feel that by wearing lower cut tops, or tight jeans or showing off their legs may get them more attention and that's what it is, attention seeking but what for?

Some to attract the male species for believe it or not, relationships as that's all they know, they see the Models, read the magazines, find the girls attractive, hear their friends of the male species comment on their butts, boobs and feel that if they looked like that, they would get the attention and consequently a man.

Some for the purpose of money, be it that they are a waitress and want more tips, be it that they are a Model and want a rich guy.

Then there are confident women who like who they are, inside and out and dress for themselves, not caring if some guy is sexualizing her and have no intentions of wanting anything from the male species.

There is sexuality / sensuality - of one self with total respect. Yet a male may perceive her as sexualizing themselves for "them".

There is also sexuality - to gain attention, but inadequate self-respect can be only one portion not the be all and end all of the reason. A person can feel inadequate about their body but that does not mean they don't respect themselves.

As for wearing lipstick and therefore sexualizing I totally disagree. I dress for me, wear make-up for me, there is nothing at all wrong with wanting to look nice, attractive for me, if others find that also the case or want to fantasize that's their problem. After all if there was no sexual attraction there would be no relationships, babies. The problem is, a lot of men sexualize women. She wears jeans and has a nice butt. She merely put on a pair of jeans. Yet, this attracts many a stare from a man because he likes nice butts. Doesn't mean she was asking for sex or trying to get attention.

It's a tricky individual situation.


Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 06:28 pm
@Eliusa,
Boring? No, not the right word. More like a kid who wants to know all the tricks of the illusionist performing for him, but at the same time understands that these tricks, once known, might look to him ordinary, banal, almost sordid compared to the illusion that was produced by them. I'm not sure I want to be disillusioned...
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  2  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 06:42 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Quote:
Some to attract the male species for believe it or not, relationships

And some to attract the female species for, believe it or not, same-sex relationships. Let's not assume a sexual orientation here.
 

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