Why have children?

People have kids because they can't figure out how to use a rubber.

Makes me so angry....seeing people who cannot take care of 1 kid, let alone 4, keep on getting pregnant. Getting pregnant on mistake while you are young once, I can understand. Twice, you're pushing it. Three times and you're an idiot. And it happens so often....

The point is don't bring children into this world if you can't provide for them. No matter how badly you want them. It's just not fair to the kid.

There, I feel better now.

Cav, I used to say to myself that if I ever had an irresistable urge to have children, I would go to Mexico City and spend weeks eating the delicious, the oh so delicious, food from the street vendors and eventually drop dead from the consequences. I've also thought that if I am ever disagnosed with inoperable terminal cancer I will do the same thing. Ultimately, it's about food. Isn't it?

Kristie, I have a friend who relied on condoms to avoid pregnancy. It failed. His kid's nickname is Gummy. Guess why.

I truely believe everything happens for a reason, to have the good you must balance out with the bad... so I could go and say that for all the evil people in the word what would you say to their mothers, but what would you say to the mothers of those good people? The wonderful people? You need one to have the other, I'd say to her well done you've created a monster, but hey, at least we can be prepared for next time eh?

I understand mistakes. Some of the best people in the world were "oops" babies.
However, what I can't understand is people who use no form of protection and wonder why they have 5 kids. Or people who keep having kids and can't pay for food, medical expenses, clothes and the like. That is what I can't understand.

The state heath departments can provide low cost or free birth control pills and condoms to people. No excuse as to why people can't be more responsible.

If kids are people's gifts to the world, I wanna look up the return policy on a number of 'em.

Yeah, I've yet to see a gift receipt. :wink:

I was at a restaurant a couple months ago and it was a spectacular illustration to me of the problems I have with most children.

At the table to our left, there were two children and their parents. I know the older child was named Michael because the younger child asked him to 'please pass the blue crayon'.

This was a startling contrast to the three children sitting with their parents to my right. Alex, Lisa, and Stevie. I know their names because they were repeated about 600 times. "Alex stop picking on your sister!" "MOM! LISA IS TOUCHING ME!" "Lisa, come sit over here with me now!" "Stevie come back here!" "waaaaaaaaa (don't know how to spell that keening noise. I think it was just a prolonged b flat) I wamnmm an mnmmmmm [incomprehensible because child was whining while trying to speak]" "Stevie sit down in your seat"

It was endless and so loud my teeth were itching by teh end of the meal. The comparison was so stark that I swear I could see halos over the two children on my left by the time we left. (I made a point to remark to the parents of the two quiet children that their kids were amazingly well mannered.)

All those kids were about the same age, but something happened to the ones on the right to make them join Al Quaeda and act as weapons of mass destruction in a restaurant.

My problem is that about 90% of the kids I come in contact with are closer in behavior to the three devils than their cardinal opposites. And if that is what kids are most often like? I want nothing to do with them.

Limbodog I have two children and I cannot stand the situation you described. However, this is not a problem with the children, but a problem with the PARENTS. The children that were being polite were doing so because their parents taught them manners and what behavior is appropriate in a restaurant.

As a parent, thank you for making that remark to the parents of the well-behaved children. I always try to do the same as it does seem to be less and less children that learn manners.

Maybe it is not that 90% are devils, but that you only hear the noisy children. You could overlook the quiet, well-behaved ones because you are not hearing them.

I certainly am not encouraging you to have children, because some people are better off not raising them. But a parent can raise a child to not act like a devil, it is up to the parents to teach the children.

It is also nothing less than human instinct to want to recreate beings. If everyone tried to be nice to an unborn child and choose not to have them, the human race would die out, then the question would be, why dont people bring children into the world?

No doubt. But those parents, had they not become parents, would simply be two people. I can deal with two people, but the explosive family unit? Nope, I lack the ability to cope for long.

And yes, I shouldn't have kids, this is clear.

Of course, that won't stop me from offering advice to parents around the country.

Specifically:

Kill your television. You'll do more harm to your kid with that glowing box than you will by sending them to public school or accidentally leaving out your handcuffs and porn collection. ESPECIALLY when they're between 0 and 3.

When W.C. Fields was asked if he liked chidren, he answered, I think: "Of course. I love them, especially with a little garlic and a nice chianti."
(the wine is my addition)
HL.

what nobody is mentioning
First hi to all I'm new here.

Ok, the reasons why people have kids, we all know them, and most of you "pro-reproducing" already stated nearly all of them, so I'm not going through it again.

Most people accuse of selfishness when people "dare" to say that they're not so sure about having kids.
Ok, I would say that having kids is selfish, not the other way around.
No parent on this planet, no matter how brilliant and dedicated to their children are, or how horrible and lowsy they might be, absolutely NONE is gonna confess that they really didn't want the kid on the first place, that just "happened", or worse still, that they had them for selfish porpouses.

Example... Selfish reason 1: Reproducing your genetic code.
How important you think you are, that you can't bare to carry on living without spreading your SO important and beloved genes. Even if your a carrier of health problems and genetic desorders or even if is something as simple as you're as ugly as it can be, asuering that your offpring will be, teased at school etc, and in those cases, let's not forget that... you know, looks don't matter. -please-

Selfish reason 2: You don't wanna die alone, and since you "invested" you're time and effort into bringing your kids into excistense, you expect the same payment by the time they reach adulthood, and "bless" you with a high number of grandchildren, and that way, having the peace of mind that even if you get divorced of your partner, or your partner dies, well, you got your own kids to fold back to, and grandchildren.
Not only that, when you're really really old and weak and most probably sick, you garantee that way, to have a least one person around to look after you.

Personally all of this reasons, sickens me. The worst part is that most parents feel that way, but won't tell you.

My view is that not spreading your genes around is NOT the end of the world for anyone, and it will certainlly not be the end of humanity either since there's always plenty of braindead people, bringing people to this world for no reason at all.
And dieing alone, or being old and on your own how bad can that be? Get a dog. Find friends. Go to the local bar. I don't know.
I imagine myself, with my parents telling me, we had you coz we didn't get to old age with no one around. You know what my answer would be? Well.... he-he... old and alone you can stay. Don't count on me.

And the ultimate question that someone raised about:
"What if your parents had decided not to have you?"
My answer would it be... HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU POSIBLY KNOW! You don't excist on the first place, how can you feel good or bad about the fact that your potencial parents didn't have you? Is madness asking such idiotic question on the first place.

Now how would I feel if my parents wouldn't have me, but ovbiouslly I'm here, hypotetically how would I feel? Ok. Perfectly OK with it. I'm not missing much being alive, and having lived. And NO 1 second of joy, doesn't make it for a lifetime of suffering and despair. NO godamn way.

And before you start... Once you're here, you're here, is pointless to kill yourself, doesn't solve anything, and depenpending your beliefs, might even make it worse, so why risk it?

I think having kids is selfish, sure.

Eating is selfish. Lots of things are selfish.

If someone doesn't want to have a kid, no problem. I disagree with people who feel like they can criticize other people solely for not having a child. (I'm starting to get that for having ONE -- as opposed to more -- children.)

Most everything people do can be considered as being selfish. Even charity work can be considered selfish. Why do you do charity work, it fulfills you - that is selfish. Also, I did not have my children to continue my family's genes - as I would have adopted if I could not naturally conceive. Also, I did not have my children to take care of me when I get old as I expect my children to fly the coop once they are capable of caring for themselves - I can always hire a nurse if necessary. I simply had children for the selfish reason that I love children.

Linkat wrote:
"Most everything people do can be considered as being selfish."

I agree. When we benefit at the expense of others, that's usually a "selfish" act. When we benefit other because doing so fulfills us, that's selfish as well." But it's far better to benefit ourselves in ways that benefit others than in ways that injure others. I guess I'm contrasting altruistic selfishness with egoistical selfishness. The former might sound like an oxymoron and the latter like a redunancy until one things about if.

-edited on 9-10

Re: Why have children?


10) They are a great tax deduction

9) They will eventually get old enough to mow the lawn and wash the car

8) Wife bakes more cakes and cookies

7) Someone to blame when you want to cover up something you did

6) Excuse to watch cartoons

5) Excuse to buy video games, electronics, etc.

4) Excuse to go to fairs and carnivals

3) Excuse to leave a boring affair early

2) Get the joy of picking fun names like Humphrey, Poindexter, Bartholomew, Lucifer, Chair, toilet, doorknob, Etcetera, etc. etc.

1) Will have someone to change my diapers someday

NOW THERE YOU! NOW YOU LOST THE PLOT AND YOU'RE GETTING SILLY.

Now EVERYTHING is potentially selfish, including eating? Well, hey, go on without your selfish act of eating, and let's see how long you last.
Eating is necessary, not selfish, you don't eat you die.
Having children is not necesary, don't have them and you will survive regardless.

Let's not be childish ok? And you're the ones bringing kids to this planet? Being inmature yourselves? Oh-MY.

Having children is particularly selfish, because the ones that "plan" the new arrival has NO WAY of knowing for sure if that new person will like it here or not, or if he/she will even like her/his own parents.
What if you bring a new kid to this world with the VERY best intentions, he/she grows up, HATES excistence, and the good old question arises of: Why the hell you got me? I didn't ask to be born. Life sucks, and the "life" you've provided me with sucks even more.

Now everybody dismisses such comments as inmature, silly, "missing the point", of not knowing enough about life, etc.
The truth is that, in my opinion, such points are extremely valid. Either who hears it likes it or not.
Like who ever started this thread mention something about the state of the world we're living in, and what kind of world we're leaving behind for future generations to HATE, not enjoy. And I'm not talking about the enviroment alone. Anyone cared to take a serious look at the state the world is in today, politically. And all that it's bound to get worse.

Most breaders are ants, worker ants, and I say that just to be polite, the truth is that we're slaves. Paint that fact of all the pretty colors you might like, but that doesn't change the fact that we're slaves..... you know... a prison cell is a prison cell doesn't matter how pretty it looks....
So you breaders of the world, are ready to accept the responsibility, particularly with your children when they grow up, and face the fact that the best they can get out of life is working seasesly, for peanuts, just to pay bills, just to keep head abobe water, and worst of all in a place like McDonalds, and they might be NEVER able to do what they like.

i havent had the time to read through all 8 pages yet, but i can see where people are coming from.

I think the only reason I'd have children is to be able to die knowing that i have given others a chance to do what i didnt. In having children, wouldnt you teach your children, some of how you were taught but also with what you have learnt?

Its like evolution, as the generations go by, the teachings get better and the next generations will be smarter, stronger and be able to make better decisions in their lives.

I want to be able to look back on my life and at least say that i gave someone else the opportunity to experience what i didnt, by creating a new life. Im not going to get into the whole "theres no point to life, only death" topic though, becuase in this case i think its irrelevant.

For sure our children will experience the same pain, torment and suffering that we all did, and our parents did, and theirs, and theirs etc etc. But if children are taught about such things in appropriate ways, then gradually there becomes less pains.

As to having children being selfish, i can only think of a few things that make this true. The fact that you want to have someone to talk to and look after you when your older, which is only fair if you raised them if you want to get really narky. But also if you leech off your children and use them as a toy, then obviously that is selfishness.

I would honestly think that if i raised a child, then it would be more selfless than anything else. I would have to give up time, money, energy and a large portion of my life, just so that my child can have the knowledge and skills they need to be able to understand the world, let alone what else i would try to teach them. More is given up than what is gained, some mothers would lose their lives giving birth... But still as it has been said the reward would be great.

Thats my roaming thoughts on the topics, im only 18, i dont have kids and probably wont until my mid/late 20's, but what value do you place on a human life, one which could live life fuller than you, and not make as many of the mistakes you did. 18 yrs old and already ive made so many msitakes, which is common, but the ones in earlier life are the ones which stay with you and pain you the longest i think.

small_brother, in regard to your post. I hate my life, i dont see the point, but i still see the point in giving someone else a chance, and i still accept the challenge to go on and live. If someone choses that they dont like this life that has been given to them, or that they dislike the ones who "brought them here", as you say, then that is their choice and theirs alone.

And once a child is concieved, how much of your time in the womb do you remember? the only time you can begin to hate life is once you have experienced what life is like. You cannot technically do this unless you experience all lifes pains and all lifes pleasures, which in itself is impossible. So regardless whether your child experiences all the hurts at the age of 2 months, or if they are given the world and all its splendors it is still their own bloody choice to accept life or not. If not, they can go kill themselves, or something equally stupid and "selfish".

The point im trying to make is that a child until given a few years, is unable to decide what they think about their current life. Regardless of working like slaves or living like kings. Id think some of the children who are actually slaves in the poorer countries would decide that they are lucky to be alove, and make out of life what they can.

Im blabbing now, but small_brother, i must ask you this, and yes it is antagonising, but nevertheless: Were you one of those kids who hated their parents, refused to listen to what they taught and hated life in general?

I do however respect your opinions, and these ^^ are my opinions.

Thanks