Why am i only gay when horny?

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I am 18, And usually it would start randomly i would see a hot woman or see something sexually arousing and i will have a craving to think about guys, its not always
but it started to be more frequent now. and all of the sudden i would find women completely uninteresting i would start to think about hot strong men fantasying that i am having sex with them i would start to crave it and really want it, i would search for gay stuff on the internet and in that moment i am almost completely gay, but as i am going to orgasm i stop and then i turn straight and think guys are 0% arousing.. so i switch to women i orgsam thinking of straight stuff. and then i say to myself why am i doing this? i can get of to women i dont need to think of guys.. This is going on for 5 years already and i dont know whats going on...
when i am going on with my daily life i would look at girls and think they are hot, i would never look at a guy and think of him like i do to girls, its really weird... also when i am horny and think about guys,i keep telling myself to accept that i like guys more sexually that i would never be satisfied with women in bed like with men... its like i am different person with different desires. Is it cause i never had a father? i was always been a mom's boy... and this is why i seek a guy? i don't understand this..am i in denial? am i gay? help? also i never had sex.

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@Nikola,

All I can say is you are one VERY confused human being!!! Seek professional help is my advice...

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@Nikola,

It could be that you crave it because you truly desire men as opposed to women, or that of environmental factors, but doubtful it's the fault of family. I don't really know your situation, so I cannot give an adequate assessment, but don't feel disconnected by this because it's something that is (for whatever reason) a part of your consciousness. It's who you are as an individual. I had those thoughts when young, and I've learned to embrace it as you should. It's all a part of the human condition. Perhaps you should try it, you may find that you either will, or will not enjoy it.
I myself have not had the chance to find out, but I'm sure I'd like it.

You think in this way of confusion because you are trying to confront your upbringing. The attraction is there, just learn to embrace it. In the end, you will define your true self.

I wish you well in this struggle.

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@Nikola,

I cry foul.

About a year and a half ago, this is what you wrote:

http://able2know.org/topic/227944-1#post-5506922

Nikola wrote:

I am 18 guy and i am really confused... it all started when i was 16 i watched some tv and saw some guys kissing and i noticed that i was exremly atracted to it... and that it got me hard.. so i wonderd if i was gay... so i started watching gay porn... and i liked it i masterbated to it.. but i never orgsam to it cause it feels wierd...so sometimes i would watch gay porn, download hot guys pictures...and then it stoped for a while... until by best friend came to sleep over and while he was taking his clothes off i watched him and i could feel that i was getting really hard so we went to sleep and i masterbated thinking about him... wanting him to sleep with me so i orgsamed and it felt really good.. but i lost intrest in him and i was like wtf....and for few days i would masterbate thinking of him...and now i would time to time go watch gay porn... i noticed when i fantasise about guys that my penis becomes alot sensetive and bigger then usually when i think about girls... it feels to good...the reason is why i am confused is cause i dont want to be with a guy.. i find girls hot.. and i want to have kids with a girl..but when i am horny i have cravings to be with a guy.... am i gay?

According to you, you haven't aged at all since the first post.
According to you in 2013, this has been going on since you were 16.
According to you in 2015, this has been going on for five years.

Other than that, not much has changed in your two posts other than your spelling has improved a bit.

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@Butrflynet,

Hi butterflynet. If this is true, I had no idea about this predicament, and I wouldn't have responded at all. I was just trying to help.

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@Lexx Luxor ,

Ya did good, Lexx. Your comments will help someone else genuinely looking for advice.

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@Butrflynet,

Thanks so much for the kindness and encouragement, Butterflynet, this makes me feel much better as I myself remain in the closet and have nothing to gain in all of this. I just love people in general and always wanna help them out.

Thanks so much for that. Smile

1 Reply

@Lexx Luxor ,

You are more than welcome to stick around, Lexx. There's plenty of people around here looking for advice and it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders.

It makes me sad that your circumstances have you in the shadows. I hope that some day you will be able to shine a bright light and celebrate your life without any judgements.

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@Butrflynet,

I hope you don't mind my saying this, but that was beautiful. How very kind of you sir. I'm at a loss for words, but I want you to know how much I really appreciate your kindness and respectful attitude. I've been kinda down lately, but your kindness has enabled me to stand again. It's been hard for me because it took a very long time to confront my sexually and desires. You are so very kind. Thanks so much for that.

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Why am i only gay when horny?

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