Forgiveness ~ A Discussion

No. Killing people shows conclusively a lack of morality.

It's some I've preached for years in my business! We need to forgive for ourselves first & foremost! Then WE can move on regardless of the other party!!

My belief is religious in nature- that in order for me to be forgiven by God I have to forgive those that hurt me. I truly am struggling with this. Way easier said than done. How do you forgive someone when they keep doing the same thing? It's easy to forgive someone from a distance- but when the individual is your sister and lives with you- and has a young daughter- how do you keep forgiving someone for repetitively lying with every breadth- a new lie forms... It's not even like its superficial- like to not hurt someone's feeling-- or to cover up huge transgressions- but just habitual lying about the time an event starts- the color of something- or the sequence of events.... How can you anyone trust a liar? I'm finding it very difficult to move on- and what sucks more is that I know that my anger and hurt is really only hurting me- not her. And if I say move on- I will forever be this evil person that made a child homeless... It's seems like a loose loose scenario.

Easiest thing to do is, stop depending on your sister for honesty. If she says the event starts at 10, check independently, and then show her. "No, ___, it starts at 9, see?" She will undoubtedly claim she was mistaken, or it's a misprint, or she was confused, or she was joking, or whatever and will deflect til the cows come home.

Do it again and again. You'll save your sanity by really knowing when things start, etc., and you'll be telling her that you're onto her. You know she's unreliable. Her daughter won't be left homeless.

Also, in all seriousness, habitual lying could be coming from some sort of underlying illness. She has nothing to gain by telling you that the movie starts at 10 instead of 9. It might be a good idea for her to get a full medical checkup.

Forgiveness is the practice of letting go of the suffering caused by someone else’s wrongdoing (or even our own). Two decades of research in social psychology has repeatedly shown that the emotional benefits, physical and social forgiveness. True forgiveness relationships repairs and restores inner wellness.

I think forgiveness is a practice rather than a single punctual act

thanks for posting this

A revived thread, still an interesting one.

Forgiveness: You will be whole again, but not the same. Not that you'd ever want to be the same as you were, but you won't be.
You'll be new.

Joe(and shiny)Nation

I don't understand the nature or method of forgiveness for things like killing or great, intentional harm.

I can forgive easily small infractions against me when the person asks for forgiveness. For these relatively minor things, I may forgive before they ask.

But for great emotional or certainly physical harm (thankfully never experienced) against me - or God help you, my loved ones - not only will I never forgive, but I'll try to make you sorry.

Forgiveness for great harm can't happen, but I don't like to be left with the seething anger. I try to process what happened - just to understand the offender's motivation. Why did it happen? Did I deserve it? Did I contribute to it? Can I learn from this to avoid it happening again?

It has taken me a couple of years to work through some offenses, but I almost always feel a palpable weight lifted once I work it out.

I can't call something forgiveness if I don't forgive. I believe that some things are unforgivable.

Forgiveness, I've come to realize, is not about releasing the offender from his guilt, but about releasing the victims from their pain.

The unforgivable only holds those most needing release in their prison.

Joe(that took a long time to learn)Nation

If someone physically harms you, is it possible to see that person as unbalanced in their mind, and therefore not guilty by reason of insanity--albeit a temporary insanity?

If someone tries to hurt your feelings in some way, is it possible to see that person as lacking something--something which they mistakenly believe they can acquire only by hurting your feelings?

Maybe the ability to forgive is nothing more than the ability to see the shortcomings and character defects of the offender, and to not buy into their illusion.

At least that's what I try to tell myself when such situations arise. But . . .
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If you have anything negative to say about what I just wrote, I suggest you keep it to yourself, as I am not the forgiving kind!

I have forgiven every soul that has caused me distress with the exception of the Australians. I sincerely believe that forgiveness should be relegated to the western hemisphere, while the eastern should be cast aside like bananas that are discoloring.

I could forgive the Australians just about anything except for calling Australia a continent, it's just a very big island, that's it. AN ISLAND.

Joe(there, I've said it)Nation

It's so ******* big that it's a CONTINENT! Your bloody continent is just a big island, too....especially since the Panama Canal.

Sheeesh! Australians are such gentle, calm and caring people (well, most of us), how could you possibly not forgive us anything. Gus - you've caused me such heartache.

JoeNation - of course we're a bloody continent - and a bloody big island. You're lucky we're so good natured, or we'd rip ya bloody arms off for even thinking that!

You're obviously a raging nutter . . . but i forgive you.

Not raging too much - it's 1.17am and I can't sleep (maybe all that rage?)

Off to Sri Lanka today!

Oh . . . very cool . . . say hello to Ceylon for me, while you're there . . .

That's one place I've never been.