Is it okay for my boyfriend to talk flirtatiously to other girls on Facebook?

Reply Sun 11 Jan, 2015 08:56 am
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. This is my first relationship and I'm 20. I'm a really shy and this is why I started dating so late. I don't have much knowledge of how relationships work.

Let me start off by saying I rea love my boyfriend, he means the entire world to me. He says I'm the best thing that's happened to him, he has even mentioned to me that he really wants to marry me.

Unfortunately, I lack of a lot confidence and have been depressed for a couple years now.

I started noticing that all these girls on Facebook like his things constantly, leaving him flirtatious comments. This upsetted me, but he said not to worry. He would be on the middle of showing something of Facebook and a girls name would pop out on the chat, he would just close it and not address it. I started getting paranoid and did what I swear never to do, I snooped through his Facebook.

To my surprise, I found he chatted to quite a bunch of these girls. He straight flirted with them; calling them "cute", "gorgeous", "doll", asking for their numbers and even saying "I wish you were here" or "you should come over". I even saw he told his ex that the only reason that they weren't dating is because he didn't have a car, well he has a car now! What if the girls did hang out with him? I Felt crushed after seeing these, it made me feel like I wasn't special or good enough for him.

I confronted him about it, but he was just mad at me for snooping, which is completely understandable, he denied all of it, but I can't help it. I know what I saw.

I was warned by his last ex that he had cheated on her plenty of times during their relationship. Plus, we started flirting when he was in a relationship. How do I know that he won't do this to me.

He says I dont trust him, but how could I? I really love him and I know he love me too. He has made me so much happier, but I want to feel like I'm special an the only one; just the way he is too me.

Any advise, how could I make things better? I really don't want to end this relationship. And please just tell me if I'm being crazy and jealous, and let me know how to fix if so.
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Reply Sun 11 Jan, 2015 09:16 am
Our responses aren't really going to matter much. The question is whether you think it's okay.

You're right, I think, to be a bit concerned that you were flirtatious with him while he was in a relationship. Will he do that to you? Well, you've got precedent there.

You're not necessarily being nuts and overly jealous here.

The key is communication. Talk. Explain that it worries you. Listen to what you're being said, including whether he just blows off your concerns.
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Banana Breath
Reply Sun 11 Jan, 2015 09:33 am
Yes, it's ok. He has my permission. The real question is whether you consider that a deal breaker, and that is indeed your choice. Some people, both males and females, are naturally flirtatious; it doesn't necessarily mean that they're out to jump in bed with everyone who returns a glance, but it might mean that you have incompatible personalities.
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Reply Sun 11 Jan, 2015 09:40 am
Anna484, your topic heading is "Is it okay for my boyfriend to talk flirtatiously to other girls on Facebook?". My answer is "It's okay if you're okay with it, and it's not okay if you're not okay with it." You obviously aren't. If you are asking for permission to go ahead and mention this to him, then I hereby give you that permission.
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