11
   

Looking for advice. Was I assaulted?

 
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:41 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
To anyone answering this thread sincerely, I ask you to think about how you would answer if the genders were reversed... i.e. a male teacher wondering if he was sexually assaulted by a 6 year old girl.


Very good question. We can even ask it to Whitebars: what if a 6 year old girl would have touched her breast? Would she feel sexually assaulted?

Added: And would she report a little girl kissing a little boy?
maxdancona
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:44 pm
@CalamityJane,
I get it perfectly well Jane. Let me explain it to you.

1) Read this woman's posts. She is projecting her ideology onto this kid. This is unprofessional and bad for the child.

2) The 1 in 5 number has been discredited by scientists. It probably doesn't matter here. Except this is another case where the ideology gets you to believe things that aren't fact based and to use them to jump to illogical conclusions.

3) You seem to be arguing that stigmatizing 7 year old kids as potential rapists is a good thing for them, or for society at large. Am I misunderstanding your point Jane? Because I strongly disagree.

CalamityJane
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:46 pm
@Olivier5,
What good does your question "if she was touched by a girl" do, Olivier?

She was not, period!
Pearlylustre
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:48 pm
@whitebars,
This is ridiculous. If you're joking then it's ridiculous and if you're not joking it's even more ridiculous.
Pearly Mum
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:53 pm
@maxdancona,
You're just a dodo, aren't you?

Scientists discredited that 1 in 5 women are raped? That's the absurdest thing I've ever heard. Are you bunking with hawkeye now?

We are not stigmatizing 7 year old kids, but if that 7 year old hasn't learned to respect others and takes liberties towards violating girls and touching women inappropriately THEN his boundaries need to be set and if his parents don't do it, the school needs to step in.

It's very well scientifically proven that serial killers abused animals in childhood. It is also a fact that if you don't teach boys to respect women, they won't respect them as men either.

maxdancona
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 11:09 pm
@CalamityJane,
Jane,

Being a rational person means putting reason and facts above ideology. I am a Democrat. However, there times when Democrats don't make sense on an issue. There are times when Republicans have the logical position. I am fully willing to admit when my "side" is wrong... critical thinking is a good thing.

I am an anti-feminist. I often agree with feminists (when they say something that is clearly correct to me) and I will stand up against anti-feminists when they are clearly wrong. Again, logic and facts are more important than ideology.

Read this woman's posts. Keep in mind that she is responsible for taking care of this 7 year old child. She has said nothing that has shown the slightest bit of concern for this child... that is why the word "stigmatize" is correct. Even if this child is guilty of what she claims (i.e. it isn't just her projecting her issues on him), she is still acting illogically. She is being very unprofessional by any way of looking at this story.

My issue with you is that you are putting ideology above logic. Step out of your ideology, and go back and read her posts with an open mind. Remember that she is a teacher with responsibilities to help this child... and ask yourself if she can possibly meet her duties as an educator.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 11:17 pm
@maxdancona,
I am sorry, you are telling me that your way of thinking is logic and mine is illogical? Think again!!

I actually re-read her initial post. She is concerned because he has done several alarming things - that's in addition to her having met the father and being further concerned. What makes you think it is her responsibility to HELP that child? She has a responsibility towards all the children that are trusted in her hands and if one of them is acting contrary to the rules, it
is her responsibility to take actions against the child in order to protect the
others. Additionally, that kid has also put his hands onto the teacher's breast and in order to help him - as you put it - she should have dragged his ass to the principal.

That's logical thinking, max......nothing you ever come across Smile
maxdancona
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 11:43 pm
@CalamityJane,
Quote:
What makes you think it is her responsibility to HELP that child? She has a responsibility towards all the children that are trusted in her hands and if one of them is acting contrary to the rules, it
is her responsibility to take actions against the child in order to protect the
others. Additionally, that kid has also put his hands onto the teacher's breast and in order to help him - as you put it - she should have dragged his ass to the principal.


This is a seven year old. She is an adult. There are many ways that she could have acted like a responsible adult with this seven year old child in her care, including seeking help for the child from a therapist or social worker (which would address any real problem and keep everyone involved safe). She didn't do this.

She could have even "dragged his ass" to the principal. This at least would have gotten a (hopefully) responsible adult involved and given the kid a possibility to be treated fairly. The principal would give the kid another chance to get help if he needs it (or at least to move to a classroom with a better teacher).

What she is doing is the worst thing she can think of. She has decided in her mind that this kid is a future rapist. And, she is keeping it to herself. Not only is the child in an impossibly unfair situation where he has no power to protect himself from an adult with authority, but in the case he actually needs help... he will not get it.

What this teacher is doing is unprofessional (and pretty horrible) no matter what the truth is with this poor kid.



0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 11:50 pm
No, you were not assaulted. Sober up.
roger
 
  2  
Sat 20 Dec, 2014 12:04 am
@glitterbag,
Really, if someone has to ask, the answer is very likely "no".
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  3  
Sat 20 Dec, 2014 12:55 am
What is wrong with a teacher just pulling the kid aside and saying "Johnny, I want to talk with you about what happened yesterday when I was helping you down from the jungle gym and your hand brushed against my body. I don't know if it was an accident or intentional, but in any case, I want you to know that kind of touch is inappropriate. I'm going to assume it was an innocent accident. Let's avoid it happening again."

Alternatively, have the school nurse come talk to the class about inappropriate touches and personal space. There is no need to blow it up to something more than it was. That is a good age for kids to learn about personal space and inappropriate touches. Use it as a teachable moment for the whole class and not anyone specific.
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Sat 20 Dec, 2014 10:38 am
@CalamityJane,
CalamityJane wrote:

What good does your question "if she was touched by a girl" do, Olivier?

She was not, period!

How do you know that for a fact? Maybe she was and didn't think much of it.

The point of the question is to assess if Whitebars is treating boys and girls with equal respect and love and care, or whether she thinks of boys as somewhat lesser beings than girls. She said she studied gender, so she should understand the question and its purpose.

Because if it turns out that people studying gender are condoning and practicing sexism, i think we have a problem. And if the teachers of our sons think of them as lesser being, maybe they will internalize that and become lesser beings...

OR maybe I am being to romantic. Maybe i should report to the police the next little girl I see kissing a little boy, or approach the parents to make a big fuss about it?
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  2  
Sat 20 Dec, 2014 10:45 am
How large hands of a 6 y/old could be?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  4  
Sat 20 Dec, 2014 10:47 am
It sure was a teachable moment. In fact, kids that age should be talking about "good touches and bad touches" and know the difference.

Look - 7 year old boys have sexual feelings and if this child deliberately touched her breast, he needs to know that she knows what he did. He can't feel as though he got away with it. The issue is that it was in a situation where holding and grabbing and bumping bodies happens, and there is the element of doubt that this was nothing more than a small kid grabbing an adult for support.

Then there is the "kissing" incident (we don't know WHO initiated that) and then there is the uncomfortable feeling this teacher got from the father.

So . . . is a "case" of concern being built here? Maybe, maybe not.

This teacher should talk to the school psychologist or counselor or principal and relate all these incidents ASAP, even if it happened some time ago. Then several people can be on the lookout for a pattern of behavior from this little guy. If nothing happens, then it can be put down as a 7 year old's antics. If more things happen, then intervention can happen with professionals who deal with this kind of situation. Terms like "sexual assault" and "misogynist" need to be used very carefully.
maxdancona
 
  4  
Sat 20 Dec, 2014 02:20 pm
@PUNKEY,
Quote:
Terms like "sexual assault" and "misogynist" need to be used very carefully.


I disagree. These words have no place in a first grade classroom. First graders can't possibly understand them.

PUNKEY
 
  4  
Sat 20 Dec, 2014 04:58 pm
@maxdancona,
obejezzus. I didn't mean in the classroom.

The OP has used for labeling activity and other people.
0 Replies
 
nononono
 
  -3  
Sun 21 Dec, 2014 04:49 am
@whitebars,
This is one of the most batshit crazy things I've ever read. I don't know who's more ******* looney tunes, whitebars or calamityjane!

A 6-7 year kid is not capable of "assaulting" a teacher! You people are ******* INSANE. Whitebars, you're a ******* LUNATIC. Teachers are by default in control of students! For a teacher to claim "assault" is to admit that they are INCOMPETENT at their job!

There are so many messed up things that have been said in this thread that it makes my head spin!

But there are some things that I find personally offensive here. First, how could anybody insinuate with a straight face that this nutjob is my "alter"? I could not bring myself to say the horseshit this woman has said without throwing up in my own mouth. I SINCERELY hope this is hawkeye in disguise. Because if it isn't, we have some serious problems as a human species.

The woman who wrote this should be in jail for child abuse. But that's what a gender studies degree and feminist indoctrination will do to you!

A couple things that really piss me off about this thread: ehBeth, I've actually quite enjoyed reading what you have to say since I came to A2K. I may not have always made that known, but I have. I really like your personality. What concerns me is when you say:
Quote:
I've had enough friends in women's/gender studies programs over the past 35 years to be suspicious. None of them (in my experience) come out sounding like this. The rigors of academia knock the silliness out of them.


Are you serious??? "Gender studies" is the most bullshit degree ever. Who in their right ******* mind goes into a gender studies major to"knock the silliness of them"??? Gender (women's) studies fills people with nothing BUT silliness!

Also, maxdanconna. You wrote:
Quote:
She is the female version of Nonono. There has to be a female version of Nonono, doesn't there?


**** you Max! I've defended you in god knows how many posts. What do you mean by that comment? Last I checked, your stance of being anti feminist propaganda wasn't too popular amongst the marxists on A2K. I'm so sorry I stood up for you. I would expect this kind of **** from engineer; he's happy to be a mangina. I guess I should consider you in the same camp.

I'm just beside myself at the level of delusion in both the woman who posted this thread and the comments. God bless the fuckin' 'Merica!
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  2  
Sun 21 Dec, 2014 08:39 am
I agree the author of the OP is badly screwed up in the head. Like she conludes from this that this boy hates women. That is absurd. A boy kissing a girl (or touching a breast for the pleasure of it, if indeed this happened as described) does not hate girls, he LOVES them a bit too much for whitebars' taste evidently...

Love = hatred in gender studies novlang?
0 Replies
 
orangeharley
 
  -2  
Sun 21 Dec, 2014 08:06 pm
I think you're right! The behavior of the kid that you've been told us was not right from the start, the Teacher should be their second parents only. So what I mean to say is, the parents took the responsibility of their children while there're in their home. I think you are also right the behavior of the children must know in how their parents mold them in their houses. But, Teacher, you need to catch the attention of the parents of the kids you've been saying, why? It is because you as their second parent, you have also responsibility while there're in school. Remember, what they've learned in school they'll tell them to their parents after school.
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  1  
Tue 23 Dec, 2014 11:22 am
All this sounds like another operation lollipop campaign.
 

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