11
   

Looking for advice. Was I assaulted?

 
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 05:41 pm
@whitebars,
whitebars wrote:
The truth is that sexual assaults is something that very rarely ever happens to men.


this is not correct

Also, further in your post you reference a questionable statistic. You'd better be prepared to back it up with serious research.
whitebars
 
  0  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 07:29 pm
@ehBeth,
Quote:
Also, further in your post you reference a questionable statistic.


Wow. Are you really a woman? If so, I've encountered women like you before. It may be hard to explain this in a way that you will understand, but it sounds like you have internalized misogyny. You have been listening to the sexist messages in the media and society and have internalized it in a way that's very unhealthy as a woman. People who question women when they say that they've been assaulted are furthering our culture of misogyny.

Quote:
Did you skip all of the classes on healthy sexual development while you were studying to be a teacher? Seriously.


I am fully aware of sexual development in children, but this felt different to me. This was not normal behavior. This child is slightly older for his grade, and he has large hands. I think he knew exactly what he was doing, and I think it's because someone in his family is teaching him these sexist attitudes about women. It starts somewhere you know. Babies aren't just born hating women. And when he touched my breast, it was forceful. My breast actually shifted and moved partially out of my bra. I felt very violated. I don't want to see this sort of behavior continue. What if this boy grows up thinking this Ok, and then he becomes a rapist?

I hope you will think about what I've said as a woman. If you've internalized this sort of self hating behavior, part of the healing process is first identifying that it exists.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 08:21 pm
@whitebars,
Engineer... should I let you take this?

First of all, the idea that you think a 6 year old assaulted you is funny. I am sorry, but it is funny. Yes, woman do get assaulted in society. Yes it is a serious problem (although the 1 in 5 number is a politically-motivated myth, but so be it).

But no, women are not assaulted by 6 year olds, in fact the idea is ridiculous. I was agreeing with Engineer thought you were trolling for the other side (i.e. trying to trap people into seeing how ridiculous feminists could be.

But after this last couple of posts, I don't know.

maxdancona
 
  0  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 08:23 pm
@whitebars,
I don't know what career a gender studies degree is good for, but evidently it isn't teaching.

(Please, please be for real Whitebars.)
ehBeth
 
  3  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 08:30 pm
@maxdancona,
The poster doesn't scan like a woman, but anything is possible.

The story gets less believable as it is questioned.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 08:32 pm
@maxdancona,
I've had enough friends in women's/gender studies programs over the past 35 years to be suspicious. None of them (in my experience) come out sounding like this. The rigors of academia knock the silliness out of them.

Now, if it was a social work program, I'd believe it. They all seem to be barking mad.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 08:32 pm
@ehBeth,
She is the female version of Nonono. There has to be a female version of Nonono, doesn't there?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 08:33 pm
@maxdancona,
or simply be nyetnyetnyet
0 Replies
 
whitebars
 
  -1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 08:43 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
trying to trap people into seeing how ridiculous feminists could be.


Let me ask you this. Do you believe in equal rights for men and women? If yes, then you are a feminist. But I get the feeling that you don't. When you question whether a 7 year old (he's 7) can assault a woman, that is indicative of a sexist attitude. Young boys are taught sexist behavior from their fathers and older males in their lives and their peers. That you question this is why victims of assault are hesitant to come forward. They think they will be mocked.

I think you all are getting the wrong idea about me. I'm not a troll, and I don't hate children. I did a google search for "advice" on this issue, and this site popped up as "ask an expert". Well, where are these so-called experts?

People who say that the 1 in 5 figure is a "myth" are the kind of people who are often rape apologists.

When you say that feminism is ridiculous, you are showing yourself to be very misogynistic. The definition of feminism is wanting equal rights for both women and men.
whitebars
 
  -1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 08:58 pm
I'm honestly very irritated by the responses I've gotten here. I came here because not only do I feel violated and worried for other women that this boy comes into contact with, but I'm also worried about losing my job.

I get the feeling that this site is not what it claims to be. Perhaps this is some kind of troll baiting site. That's sad.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 09:10 pm
@whitebars,
You have all of the catchphrases down. Your education has clearly had some value.

I like you, WhiteBars. I hope you stick around for a while. (I do think this child should be removed from your classroom.. for his protection, not yours).

whitebars
 
  0  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 09:19 pm
@PUNKEY,
I didn't reply to your post, so I just wanted to say thank you.

Quote:
A first grader kissed a girl at recess? Not that unusual, if you ask me.


Well, he's a first grader, she's a 2nd grader.

Quote:
He sounds like he may be precocious, hyper and doesn't know his boundaries. Not unusual for an 6-7-8 year old in this day.


I've dealt with lots of hyper children though. I don't know exactly how to describe it, this boy is different. And when I've met his father, it's just given me a bad feeling. Just phrases and things his father has said that don't sit well with me.

Quote:
What does the school psychologist say?


I haven't spoken with her. If I do at this point, because it's been a while I may face disciplinary action.

Anyway, I appreciate you and jespah giving me thoughtful responses instead of belittling me. I didn't mean any offense at my claim that this site is faulty in regards to you or jespah. I appreciate people who aren't cynical and mean spirited on the internet. There aren't many left these days.
0 Replies
 
whitebars
 
  0  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 09:28 pm
@maxdancona,
If you want to harass and be hateful to women on the internet, that's your choice. It's nothing new. Women are harassed almost everywhere on the internet. You are the one who is looking disgusting. I feel very sorry for your daughter.
RABEL222
 
  1  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:11 pm
@whitebars,
The sixth grader is just a normal kid. You on the other hand need to see a psychiatrist before you not only ruin a 6 year olds reputation but yours as well. If this is a joke you still need to see the Dr.
maxdancona
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:13 pm
@RABEL222,
I think she is legitimate. I am sorry that there are kids involved.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:14 pm
Well, let's not forget the kid who raped and killed his 24 year old teacher last year. We don't know what young boys are capable of and if the father was a few shades off, he most likely teaches his son similar traits.

When my daughter was in first grade, one of her classmates who was also six years old, could have passed for a fifth grader, that's how tall and hefty he was. He was very intimidating towards all girls and since my kid was sassy and outspoken, he especially had it in for her. The teacher observed him making a gun gesture with his hands and pointed it up at my daughter's
head telling her she's next.

Now mind you, they're all six year old kids, but the teacher was so alarmed over this that she took the boy to the principal and after some discussion
the boys mother was called in and I was notified as well. The school took this incident very serious and I was kind of surprised that it was such a big deal to them, but I thought they probably have much more experience in dealing with these type of incidents and wanted to stop it before it escalates into something more.

Now, having said that, I don't think the boy assaulted the teacher, but he certainly violated her and he may or may not know what his boundaries are, but he should learn that his behavior is unacceptable and he should face some sort of consequences that are age appropriate. If it were me and I knew that the boy didn't touch me by accident, I'd report the incident to the principal and let them handle it.
maxdancona
 
  4  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:24 pm
@CalamityJane,
Come on Jane! This is really ridiculous. There is a big difference between a 7 year old and a 14 year old. If you don't believe me, go find a 7 year old to talk to. 7 year olds are not rapists.

Read this woman's posts... if they aren't a joke (and I am still not sure) than this woman is crazy.

Whenever a feminist narrative is used, the craziest things are accepted with question. Why are you more willing to accept a sexual assault committed by a first grader (with an adult victim) than you are willing to accept the much more logical conclusion that this woman is crazy?

There is a time when you have to drop your ideological beliefs for the sake of common sense.
roger
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:30 pm
@maxdancona,
None of us was there and knows exactly what happened and how it happened. CJ's being as objective as any of us can be.
maxdancona
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:35 pm
@roger,
Read this woman's posts.

If a six year old did act inappropriately, any reasonable teacher would act professionally. I would first be concerned about the kid... was he or she being abused himself? If his behavior worried me, I would get a therapist involved and maybe have a conference with the parents.

Even if what this woman is saying is true, she isn't acting reasonably. She is concerned about herself above the needs of her student. She is putting her personal ideology above the needs of her classroom. And, she is accusing a seven year old of sexual assault. Her job is to care for this kid, how can she possibly do this if she is labeling him as a misogynist (a word the kid would have trouble even pronouncing)?

This isn't reasonable behavior from an educator.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Fri 19 Dec, 2014 10:39 pm
@maxdancona,
You don't get it, do you max?
It's not that this 7 year old boy will rape the teacher NOW, but if you don't stop his behavior NOW, it can result in rape a few years down the road.
Why do you think that every 5th women is raped in this country? You think they snap one day and decide to rape? Not a chance! They're groomed towards it, haven't been given boundaries, haven't learned to respect women (it always starts at home), no consequences if they overstepped their boundaries, etc. etc.

If you don't start at a young age and teach Johnny, you'll never be able to teach John later on.
 

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