@Messenger of GOD,
You still haven't told me who this God is, and I can't guarantee any sort of repentence until I know whether I'm covered or not.
It gets very confusing sometimes, all this deity lark. Only last month I had the local Imam round here, promising me forty virgins. In all honesty, I find one woman expensive enough so I had to turn him down.
The day before yesterday, three women turned up on the doorstep, trying to sign me up into some new fangled cult which included regular tantric sex.
I took advantage of their introductory session, and I'm in no way complaining about the two hour orgasm at all, but honestly, today I have been totally exhausted and on top of that I've had to have the bedroom deep cleaned.
Religion is SO tiring sometimes.