@Messenger of GOD,
You feel powerless,latching on to the old testament and beating up on all the people you encounter who (innocently) highlight that powerlessness with "gods word" makes you feel less powerless,you suddenly believe that you have something on the world outside which enables you-perhaps for the first time in your life-to assume an air of superiority,you have found a means of convincing yourself that it is everyone else who is wrong,and that they are wicked sinners who have turned away from god-and who will "get their's" on judgement day.
You would like to be the one who administers gods judgement when that day comes and then all the people who make you feel such an inadequate will be made to pay for all the pain you experience.When you say that "...everyone who ever lived falls on their knees before god>>>" what you really want,what you really NEED is for all of us "sinners" to fall to our knees before YOU.