Judge says mom lied, so she'll lose custody

How will his wife treat twins



Judge Goldberg was off her rocker. We don't know if it was a lie. Judge Goldberg didn't even question the girls about it. She just assumed it wasn't true.

More importantly, what about the fact that the majority of her decisions favor the father getting custody no matter what the situation is?

How about the fact that the man and his wife tried to "pressure" Bridget to get an abortion and now all of a suddenly they both want custody after Bridget dumps him.

How do you think his wife will treat these little girls? After all, they are the result of an affair he had. What about the fact that he insists that they call his wife "Mom"?

The Judge knew this, but only considered one side of the case. She needs to be investigated to see if she is impartial. When according to a lot of her cases people believe she is not impartial.

The only ones who have not been hurt by this is the CEO and his wife. Bridget Marks got hurt and more importantly, the little girls got hurt.

Judges on the NY bench have been known to accept gratuities. Makes one wonder.

None of the NY judges I've ever known, au.

This story is similar to hundreds of thousands of abuse victims around the world - especially the United States and Australia. We and/or our children were abused, perhaps our former partners were arrested for battery - perhaps not, but we and/or our children have all been abused. What I am most upset about is that in our modern world, when couples separate and divorce - as is usually advisable in homes where domestic/sexual abuse exists - the batterer is not always held accountable for the effects of the abuse on the children. Spouse abuse IS child abuse - whether or not the children were abused directly. What I experienced in my case - as well as other former victims I have read about in my research - is that family courts do not want to believe the victim(s) when domestic/sexual violence is brought up in divorce and custody disputes, although we think it is safe to do so - and we believe the courts are there to protect us. I am sure that some people are evil and accuse their former partners of things they did not do, but most victims are just trying to protect their children and/or themselves from the abusive behaviors they experienced during the relationship.

In my case, after my spouse was arrested for spousal battery (which concluded several years of spouse/child abuse), he was quickly released from jail. I had a police report, photographs of the abuse, a child abuse report, and an emergency protective order. The ex was let out of jail, quickly went to the bank and withdrew every penny out of our bank accounts, and hired an expensive, experienced attorney. In my case, the ex took what is called "the pre-emptive strike" in batterer's treatment programs. He served me with ex parte notice for divorce and full custody of our daughter before I had the chance. I had 4 hours to look for and hire an attorney (without any money). I had already interviewed 2 attorneys prior to my ex's arrest, but neither seemed experienced in Domestic/Sexual Violence, so I just hired the next attorney I was going to interview. Fortunately, my parents were able to assist my children and I (I had a 15 year old son from a previous marriage). My parents did not have the funds to hire an experienced (expensive) attorney. Also, I was not expecting any income for another 6-12 months, as I had just had back surgery just 2 weeks prior to my ex's arrest, and I still had 15 staples in my back from the surgery when those final blows fell.

As it turned out, my ex was able to confuse the family court with multiple accusations, none with any basis in truth, of drug addiction, drug abuse, illicit drug use, lesbianism, and basically being a horrible parent. He claimed he had extensive evidence, but produced only the accusations at the ex parte hearing. I had plenty of evidence of domestic/sexual violence, but because judges do not need to be trained in domestic/sexual violence - they are usually uncomfortable with hearing evidence in these cases, and out-source them to psychologists or psychiatrists who sign up to be paid $300-400 dollars per hour to be a "forensic evaluator". We were sent to an "evaluator" - which was the kiss of death for my relationship with my child, as so many abused women and their children have found out. These evaluators are also not required to have any on-going training in domestic/sexual violence, but they are used as "experts" in deciding custody cases where domestic/sexual violence is very much an issue.

In my case it was VERY clear, at the onset, that our evaluator was bias in favor of my former spouse. Every accusation against me was looked into with the minutest detail - and facts were mis-represented in the evaluator's report. On the contrary, none of the "evidence" I presented was taken seriously, none of my leads were followed up on - while every lead my ex presented was followed up on and mis-reported in the evaluator's report - counter to the evaluator's own notes in his case file. The ex's arrest and charges of spousal battery were never included in the report - nor was the fact that the spousal battery charges were still pending as of the date of the evaluator's final custody report. The statements by the professionals who had been treating me for PTSD as a result of the abuse were dismissed as "not candid" - even though I had 3 experienced, highly professional DV experts who all gave the evaluator the same diagnosis. Why he thought all 3 of these professionals were not "candid" was not mentioned in his report - but I did note that the evaluator was male, and all 3 of my treating professionals were female. Everything positive about my life was left out of the report and anything negative was magnified, vilified and pathologized. Everything good in my ex's life was touted as evidence of what a great father he would be (even though the only time he lifted a finger to help with the kids was to show off when friends and family were present). Every negative and abusive behavior of my ex was explained away and minimized by the evaluator. He did not even mention that my son recounted the horrific abuse by his step-father, but the evaluator decided to believe when my ex reported that my son's behavior was "problematic", therefore, my ex's "aggressive punishments" were "understandable" to the evaluator.

Also, because my ex's family lied for him on every point, I was painted a "liar" - when it is obvious that a family could/would lie to cover for a family member. Therefore, all accusations that my ex made were taken as "fact" with no evidence. All evidence I presented was dismissed and not followed up on. The evaluator even allowed my ex - a former NYCPD sergeant and now a Private Investigator - to perform "investigations" on me. These "investigations" were written dialogues some other P.I. supposedly had taped during interviews with some of my old friends and former spouse. These reports contained false and negative statements about me. I followed up when I learned of these reports (years later) with all the people quoted in these reports. Not only had none of them said what was written in the reports, none of them had ever spoke with this other P.I. who supposedly interviewed them. Additionally, they all told me that they had only spoken with my ex, and the "Evaluator" never called them to follow up on whether or not the reports were accurate and truthful. When the evaluator's Report and Recommendation for Custody was completed, the judge just rubber-stamped the report and gave my ex physical custody of our daughter, and visitation to me. Over the past 9 years, my ex has continued his efforts to punish me for his arrest, and I now only see my daughter 1½ days per week and I have no legal custody because of his on-going accusations of "alienation".

I was blamed for "alienating" my daughter against her father by not allowing him frequent, easy access to our daughter (due to my fear of his behavior and the effects it has had on her). This is the biggest problem I see today in our family law systems. There is no recourse for the victims of the batterers, "evaluators", or judges using alienation unless one has large funds for an experienced attorney fighting "Parental Alienation" and other "syndrome's" assigned to the protective parent. The children are torn from the arms of the nurturing, protective parent and put into the abusive, neglectful, selfish arms of the batterer.

For my part, I am searching for a way to stop this abuse of the family law system from continuing. This crazy idea of alienation came about from a psychologist name Richard Gardner, who states that when issues of DV and Abuse arise in custody disputes, they are "concocted" to turn the child(ren)against the "alienated" parent, and accuse the "alienated" (a.k.a. abusive) parent of abuse that has never taken place. In my case, and every other case I have heard of or have seen in my research, the "alienated" parent is ALWAYS a man. The one being accused of "alienation" is ALWAYS a woman. In my case - I would have loved for my daughter to have a father like mine when I grew up. My parents were divorced and I developed a great relationship with both my biological father and my step-father. They were both important mentoring relationships in my life. The difference is that I had stable fathers in my life. My daughter does not. Unfortunately, it is not safe to be left alone with an abusive and negligent parent. Gardner's theories have been rejected by peer-reviews and medical scientists as junk science, but the courts continue to use these phony syndromes to punish the protective parent for trying to protect her innocent and frightened children.

I have begun to train domestic/sexual violence volunteers and interns about this subject. My research led me to a man named Lundy Bancroft, who created the first Batterers Treatment program in the nation (U.S.), only 15 years ago, and is the first to really delve into the mind of the batterer and expose their cruelty and malevolent intent for what it is. Reading his books on the subject have helped make sense of all the trauma my children and I have been put through. Now, I would love to get the word out about the damage caused by the purposeful mis-use of these phony "syndromes" against women in family courts around the world. If our children could be raised by the non-battering and nurturing parent, there would be a significant positive impact in the amount of violence in the world by raising children in loving homes with nurturing role models. In a few generations, we would see a huge positive impact in our economy as well, as fewer women and children would suffer the horrific effects of PTSD. More women would be able to focus and be capable of regular work. More children would be able to focus in school - further benefiting society by reducing juvenile delinquency and increasing the productivity of future generations.

Jespah.
Payoffs and other dirty deeds have been in the paper time after time. It has always been so. As far back as I remember there have been judges caught with their hand in the till. Judges are after all put on the ballot by political parties. In essence they are political appointees.
You are probably correct when you say none that I have ever known. However if one was would you expect to know?
Most people I know disagree with the Judges ruling and the first comment they make is she must be on the take.

What sticks in my craw about this case is that the man carried on an adulterous affair with the woman and when she was with child, he along with along with his "ever loving"wife wanted the children to be aborted. The Women refused, went thru with the childbirth and provided a good and loving home for her daughters. IMO the man lost his parental rights when he insisted upon the abortion. As for his wife she must be some dish rag.

Your fabricating things again. For all any of us know her home was a living hell and she was a bitch on wheels. Your insistance that there was some idealistic home has yet to be demonstrated.

While you are quick to point out that he was married and having an affair you ignore that for two years AFTER the twins were born she continued to carry on this adulterous affair with a man she knew was married.

Now, since she was willing to continue on with the affair after the issue of him requesting she have an abortion and knowing he was married how does that reflect on her judgement? Is it that maybe he's not the creep you keep trying to make him out to be or is she just a total idiot? Which part of your arguement would you prefer to swallow?

Fishin
Your fabricating things again. For all any of us know her home was a living hell and she was a bitch on wheels. Your insistence that there was some idealistic home has yet to be demonstrated.

There was no claim or even hint that she did not provide a loving home for the girls. If there was even a hint of that I am sure you know full well it would have come out in court. That should be demonstration enough. The children had to be literally ripped out of their mothers arms. I will say again I think the judgment is entirely off base. And what makes it worse are the obstacles set up to make it as costly and difficult as possible for the mother to see the children.

Fishin
IMO the biggest creep in this case is the judge. Hopefully good sense will prevail and the judgment will be overturned.

Re: How will his wife treat twins


Upon what evidence do you base these assumptions?

There was also no claim that she provided a loving home in any court records that any of us have seen is there? The entire point is that you are making this woman out to be a saint here when there isn't any public evidence to support that either. You and I have no way of knowing exactly what came out in court. At this point the only person talking to the press is Ms. Marks and I doubt she's going to reveal any details that might not look to good for her.

Re: How will his wife treat twins


How about the fact that an investigation was never brought up to find out if the allegations were true. All that was said was that Marks claimed this happened. No mention if the charges would be looked into.

If an investigation was done, wouldn't that have been brought up whether they were true or not? But absolutely no mention. Except that the Judge personally feels they are not true.

I still believe this Judge looked at one side of the case. As far as Marks being hateful to the father. He and his wallpaper wife haven't exactly proven that they are fit to raise these children (don't forget they wanted her to abort these children). HE also insists that they call his wife "Mom". They already have a mom.

Did you even see the interviews?
OMG...have you people seen the interviews and other coverage on the Today Show and Goodmorning America?? It was shocking!!!

I have to say, I don't know many of the real details, and I'm looking at this entirely from the news coverage, but the mother came off as a total lunatic.

I can't believe she secretly stalked and video taped the father with the children during their visitations, worse yet she admitted to it!! And what was she thinking about with her behavior during the exchange and insisting that it happen in public with the press covering it? I'm sorry, but that is no way to behave. She was clearly upsetting the children, instigating fears and being hysterical, pulling them out of the car...

Sure she isn't a "robot", but any adult should have control of their emotions, and she obviously doesn't. What she did was clearly show the tremendous hatred she has toward the father, worse yet right in front of the children. How is that NOT Parental Alienation?

On her behavior alone, the judge is likely right. I can only imagine what other behaviors or comments that she made that the Judge heard, but the public hasn't.

I have to commend the father for keeping his mouth shut, and trying his best to shelter his kids from this disaster. He is the only one looking out for the childrens' best interests.

Honestly, I would like to hear from a single person who saw those interviews and still feels that she is the better parent. I mean, afterall, didn't the father pick up his entire life and move to New York on a moment's notice to encourage and make possible visitations with the mother? You can't tell me she put in the same level of effort...

Wanted an abortion...
I've seen a number of people saying that he is not a fit parent because he wanted her to have an abortion. I'm curious, does the mom have any proof of the claim or has the father admitted to it?

If not, why should that "statement/claim" carry any more weight than the false abuse allegations? That it the problem when you lie even ONCE to a judge, they will tend to not believe a single thing you say from then on.

I think she cried "Wolf!" one too many times.

Re: Did you even see the interviews?

Why are these poor kids being exposed to the media in this way?

Here, in Oz, the media cannot report on Family Court proceedings in any way that identifies anyone.

This is to protect children from just such occurrences as these - where either, or both, parent/s - and/or an unethical media - are prepared to exploit them for publicity, or to feed the voyeurism of the public.


I cannot believe these children are being exposed in this way.

By all means allow the press to discuss the ISSUES - I think this case raises any number of questions that are of legitimate community interest, in a general way - but identifying and FILMING the children? Please!!! This is group child abuse.

I have no idea of the rights or wrongs of this case, and nor does anyone else on this thread, I believe, but that these children are identified and made the subjects of a media feeding frenzy is appalling.

Re: How will his wife treat twins


Where was this "fact" established?

Same thing in Canada. Report any detail that would allow the children to be identified and somebody's going to jail.

Re: How will his wife treat twins


That's not a fact, that's an apochryphal claim, ironically coming from someone who had touted evidenciary standards.



This is an outright falsehood again, and you can't support these claims.



That's fine, everyone is entitled to factually baseless opinions, thing is, when they vociferate them they might be asked to support them (and you will not be able to do so, owing largely to the false nature of your claims).

By the way, after some research I think the claim that the mother is losing the kids due to the lies about abuse itself are misleading.

It seems to be a case of parental alienation.