Can abortion be forced on a minor by a legal guardian?

Wildflower non-consensual sex can end in a pregnancy too. A woman being raped can get pregnant as easily as one that willing engages in sex.

I understand and do agree with you that the father (if it was consensual) should have a say. However, you also have to consider that it is the potential mother that is carrying the baby for 9 months. It is the mother who has morning sickness. It is the mother whose body changes forever. It is the mother who goes through labor. I believe if there is a difference of opinion, the potential mother should be the deciding factor.

Also, as far as a parent of a teenager deciding. Again I think it should be thoroughly discussed between the two. The teenager again is the one being most effected. If the teenager is too immature to raise a child or the future grandparents do not want it, there is always adoption and newborns are in high demand for adoption in the US.

Understand that I have discussed teen pregnancy, in great length, with my daughter. She has a 17 year old brother, which she is very close to. These boys are not exactly the tame sorts either, so she hears it all. The pregnancy problems have occurred in his age group. Together, we have discussed this problem.

I was not ready for the shock of a newborn, when married, at 23. I told both of my kids how hard the adjustment was on me, the only person I can realistically speak for, and their father. He was 25 years old.

I have told my children the truth about the birth of my, very much loved, but trouble maker son. We thought we were plenty adult enough for this, having a child. We bought a house that we could afford and tried. We didn't know, as young adults, just how hard it was, for both of us. I can tell my kids that they were loved and wanted. I can also tell them the hardship their father and I went through, which ultimately destroyed our marriage.

I do also explain it was our problem, not a problem of children, loved and wanted, that caused the demise of our marriage. It was an extremely stressful and difficult adjustment for us. We didn't have much money. Pregnancy and childbirth is a definite stress, in a relationship. It has nothing to do with the child at all. The child is very much loved and wanted, but can parents cope with stress of this in their relationship? It is hard, very hard.

I am not against abortion, by any means. I feel it is a personal choice. I would like to see it done as early as possible, if that is the decision. I can't say that I believe that partial birth abortion is anything but murder, with a healthy infant, not one who will live a life of disability.

If it was a tremendous stress to myself and husband, as young adults, able to buy a house, I can't say that I agree with teens raising children. I know how my teens act. They know it all!

Pregnant teens do not understand the serious responsibility they have towards another life, unless very exceptional in maturity. This is not the normal level of growth, for any teen, no matter how intelligent. I cannot agree with a kid raising a kid and have made my thoughts clear to both my children and why I think so.

For a grand change, both of my kids agree with me, on this subject. My daughter already knows that I have no objection to a request to birth control. You have to bite your tongue sometimes!!

My son is extremely selective about girls and sex partners, at 17. He has no choice of life, just personal responsibility, on his part. Women decide and men pay, which he understands.

I don't have to force my daughter into abortion. She doesn't want the responsibility and knows that our pup is more than what she wants to deal with. A baby is much more demanding than our dog!

Some families are against abortion. I am not and think it is the right choice, depending on circumstance. Kids should never raise kids, in my opinion.

Teens don't understand the responsibility…I completely agree. In my 20s, I think I was incapable of raising a child forget about being a teenager and doing it. I completely agree with you on that teenagers should not raise kids in almost every circumstance. You did the right thing wildflower and thoroughly discussed the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. Your children can know make informed decisions. However, I do not believe that you should force an abortion on a teenager. But making this decision for them you are now taking away that ability to make their decision. I always can only imagine how traumatic it would be for a teenager to be forced into such a procedure against their will. How would they ever respect you or trust you? I think it would be better to discuss all the pros and cons and work with them to come up with a plausible solution.

By the way I do commend you on raising your children at such a young age and being so honest with your children. I doubt, like you said, it will even be an issue for you.

I completely agree with you, Linkat. There is no way that I would or could ever force abortion on my daughter. This is clearly wrong. My kids may be well informed about teen pregnancy. My daughter does not know what it is like to carry another life, within your body.

This is a very serious thing. I opt for birth control, not abortion. I want my teen children to know what it really is to be a parent. I want them to know that they should plan their family, with marriage. If pregnancy occurs within marriage, there is a choice between parents to be made, in order to plan their family.

Although I am firm with my belief that kids should never raise kids, I would never force abortion on my daughter. I know what that means for me. I will be raising another child, my grandchild. I don't expect a teen to be able to deal with a newborn. It was very hard for me. I did it.

I am fearful of getting attached to a child my daughter brought into this world and I cared for. I will love that child, but have no rights at all. I don't want my heart ripped out of my chest with her irresponsible decisions. If my daughter was so responsible, a teen pregnancy would never occur in the first place.

We are talking about minor children having children. As parents, we are still responsible for our teens, until the age of 18. Our daughters may bring a life into this world before that age. I know how to care for an infant, but my daughter is a teen and minor. This leaves me with a big problem.

I would care for my grandchild. I would love him/her very much. The problem is the fact that it turns out to be the grandparent's problem, given the fact that a minor daughter gave birth.

I expect my teen mother of a daughter to take full responsibility for the life she brought into this world. The problem is, we are talking about kids raising an infant. They are not psychologically capable, without full support, which I would do for my grandchild, not my daughter.

When is it that the grandchild I cared for and loved will be taken from me? As soon as my daughter turns 18 and decides on some live in boyfriend, taking the child I loved and cared for with her.

I am going to be hurt beyond belief. Given the fact that I know no teen is capable of full care of a child, I will be devastated by her taking her child that I cared for. I will not trust her. She couldn't be trusted to be responsible for her own sexuality. Why should I trust her with another life? I can't and don't.

Am I being unreasonable? I don't think that I am. I feel that I am the one that is going to be responsible for my teen daughter and her child. I am going to love that child, given the fact that I was the one who cared for that life. Yet, I have no rights at all and that scares me to death.

My oldest son, Robert, is 14 years old. He is a product of violent rape.

My wife was lucky to survive. She bears unspeakable scars.

Robert is here, though, alive and dragging himself through life just as his mother and I do.

And God is he trouble... We know the police and child protective service workers by first name.

His name is Robert, and he is brilliant.

A very hard child to raise, but worth it. I have actually been incarcerated in the process... twice.

Noone said it would be easy.

I feel for both of you Harmonic. This is far from the easy road to take. We all have to do what we feel is right.

My son was born in marriage and wanted. He is nothing but trouble. This can happen to anyone. I know exactly what you mean about Social Services! My son had drug parties and allowed drug sales out of my house, while I was working. My house got a full drug raid and complete search.

I am now fighting for my daughter only because of her brother. He was wanted by both parents in marriage. That doesn't mean kids don't have minds of their own and will not cause you serious problems, just as my irresponsible son did.

I never raised him to be this, but he is a big problem to me. I also have Social Services on my butt over my 17 year old son's drug parties. I was at work! Are you supposed to be able to hold a job and baby-sit a 17 year old high school drop out druggie kid?

It doesn't necessarily matter what parenting you gave, how much attention, and your efforts at correcting problems. I did it all and I am counting the months before he is 18 and scared to death.

I am in the middle of a divorce, with an unemployed husband living with his mother. She hates me for insulting her parenting and intelligence. She is MENSA and above us mere mortals.

They will not give my son back. I am trying a last ditch effort, while he is still a minor and I can force him into psychiatric care. I raised him. He is a stranger to father and his mother. Mother owns unemployed son, so she is the one I have to fight, not my husband.

My 17 year old son cause a drug raid on my house, with pot parties and allowing a friend to sell drugs out of my house, which he knows I do not approve of, but you can't watch them while at work on second shift! They never dealt with or paid for all of his problems. I did.

I am begging for them to give my son back. Mother in-law is angry with me, for things I said. I don't approve of her parenting and do not want her influencing my children. She is! You wouldn't believe the nightmare I am going through!!

I demand return of my son so that I can get him psychological care, as a last ditch effort. We are talking about an intelligent and charismatic kid able to manipulate. I feel he has a serious problem and want help for him, before he is 18 and parents have no choice.

It only took him a few weeks to cause a drug raid on my house and total his father's pick up truck. Get this, he had five teens in the bed of that truck, which I have lectured endlessly about seatbelts and accidents. I have even told him all about my patients who pee in a diaper and don't even know their own name because their head was hit during a car accident. Everyone has to have a seatbelt, no questions asked. This kid has a big problem, which he is being coddled from by my mother in-law, who hates me.

I am waiting for Social Services to do another surprise inspection. My lawyer advised me to get rid of my dog. I didn't do that and he isn't happy. I did not buy a pedigree Boxer because I did not want a dog! She is less than a year old. I have had her spayed. It is going this far, because of my son's drug parties, while I was working. I am supposed to get rid of my loved dog? No way!

The whole Social Service thing is no joke. It isn't fun at all and extremely scary thinking you might lose your innocent child because of the guilt of another. There is nothing you can do about it, but live with being under a microscope.

I know how hard it is and my thoughts are with you, Harmonic, to get through this. It isn't because it is a child of rape at all. Any wanted kid can be problematic, like my son. I wish you the best!!

Are some kids manipulative and psychologically abnormal or it it all the parent's fault? I believe that no matter how hard you try, that some kids have serious problems parents don't always see, until too late. This is my son, most unfortunately.

This is a sad, but true story. My best friend, as a teen got pregnant at about 16 years old. Given that she was a minor and her mother had complete control, my best friend was pregnant, by a beloved boyfriend, who did not object to her pregnancy. He was the exact same age and could not contrubte financially.

This was a single parent family. Her mother didn't put a gun to her head, but did use her authority to force an abortion. It did happen. My friend resented this deeply. She even deliberately got pregnant again and went on welfare. She couldn't forget or forgive her mother for taking the life of her unborn, as she saw it.

I know this family very well. This did happen many years ago, but I don't think emotions or people really change that much. Her mother was divorced, raising two kids with a lousy child support check, where every guy seems to think this is robbery, but it isn't. Her mother lived the single parent life. She loved her daughter deeply. She couldn't deal with her daughter living as a single parent, with such difficulty, as she had.

This is why abortion was forced upon my best friend. The mother did what she thought was right. The daughter resented this to the point of another pregnancy, with no father at all, where the first one would have had one, but a minor, just as she was.

I know the result of force utilizing manipulation and parental power. You have to give teens the facts. I would not give it my acceptance, for a teen pregnancy. I had it hard enough, married and a full adult. I really don't wish to raise another child or I would have one of my own.

If my daughter can't figure out simple responsibility with things like cleaning her room or picking up after herself or doing dishes, what on earth could she provide for a child? She isn't grand at taking care of our nine month old dog! Parenting is the last thing I would wish on her, besides cancer.

I have my own personal beliefs and I couldn't care less whether anyone agrees or disagrees. I will not defend them. I am entitled to this. Here it goes! I do believe that abortion, in early stages, as a form of family planning and being responsible for the life you bring into this world.

Partial birth abortion sickens me, if for family planning and I find unaccepatable. I do feel complete responsibility to my daughter, until an adult, so why wouldn't I feel grand responsibility to her child? I do not agree with children having children, but know the horror of outcome, if emotionally forced to abort, if not desired, by my daughter.

I would be the one caring for my loved grandchild, if given birth to and I know it. I will raise no child and have them ripped away from me because my daughter decides to move out, if I can't approve of lifestyle and be completely assured that she takes adequate care of a grandchild I love. I did all the work and have no choice!!

I can never allow my blood to be given to a stranger, meaning adoption. I do not want or desire another child, but cannot accept never knowing my own grandchild. I will take that child and raise it before ever considering adoption to some stranger to raise.

Teen pregnancy puts me, as a parent, in a very hard situation. I first opt for early abortion, to give my daughter a shot at life. I have kids. I have experienced single parenting. It is so hard and do not wish this life on an idealistic teen, that will learn different.

Members may not agree with my views. It is my daughter's and my own life at stake, not theirs to agree or disagree with me. This is my stand, abort early, with any teen pregnancy. I will never force my daughter to do so, but will never agree to bringing life into this world, with no father or family, which I strongly believe in. I have no problem at all with early abortion as a method of family planning. I see it as being responsible for life brought into this world.

Go ahead, hate me for my thoughts!!

Ok, that'll teach me to read all the posts before flying off the handle. I can sort of see some of your point, and you're not sick, but my responses to the remarks are the same; at least of they were made by such an insensitive parent as I thought you were, before reading all the posts anyway. kwim? I'll keep the rest of my response because it's how I originally felt.



But, if your child has developed the belief that abortion is wrong, then it's not your right to make the decision. Just as if she felt that abortion was a reasonable solution to a pregnancy caused by rape, and you didn't agree; she should have the right to terminate, and not be forced to live with the reminder and got through the pain(possibly worse than the original attack). Conversely, if your child believed that adoption is the appropriate solution, then it's still not your decision to make.



No. Instead you prepare her for the responsibility. She should be prepared for a great deal of responsibility by 13 anyway. She should be helping with chores, not because you nag her but because she was raised with a positive work ethic. True, at 13 she won't be able to go out and provide for herself, but you can help her and her boyfriend to become responsible parents. Then again they may choose to put a child up for adoption; it would be their choice, not yours.



While they are young, and pursuing their educations, teens may not have the financial means to provide for their children, but they can give them the love and attention that a children need.



But you don't know for a fact that the child of teen parents won't have a father. These days teen fathers are becoming more a part of their children's lives. True, you shouldn't have to raise the child(if your child became pregnant), but you may have certain financial obligations for your child. You can also provide some tough love; letting her know that grandma won't be babysitting so she can go out and party, reminding her that care of the baby is her responsibility and if she neglects the baby you will report her to CPS, etc.



That's like saying you should have the right to force her to get a hysterectomy or mastectomy because you have uterine or breast cancer. You don't have the right to have something so invasive, violating, traumatic, and permanent done to your child.



Actually, we are talking about individuals that are (physiologically) young adults. A few centuries ago it wasn't unseemly for a 14-16yr old girl to be getting married and beginning a family. The only difference between girls then and now is education. True, it's not a good idea for one with a body that hasn't finished growing to become pregnant; it's a significant burden on a female body at any age. However, young ladies were taught their jobs by the time they were 13. Now they have a wider variety of paths they can take in life, but all young people should know the basics by 13. They should all know everything there is to know about reproduction, the risks of sexual activity, how to prevent disease and pregnancy, and actively practice those methods; there's a difference between not having sex because you're afraid you're going to get caught and actively practicing abstinence(or safer sex). Young people should know all the standard life skills. They should have a strong working knowledge of keeping a home and car in proper working order(maintenance & repair), developing and following budgets and menus, and proper shopping methods. My son(just turned 13) even has an in depth knowledge of gardening and animal husbandry; he can grow and raise his own food, as well as process it, and we've only lived in the country for a year.



You would actually permanently damage your child in such a horrific manner and feel good about it? That has got to be one of the sickest things I've ever read.



Maybe you should get some help for those negative feelings you have. You may pass on such negativity to your daughter. Perhaps you should teach her, in a positive way, why it's so important to abstain from sexual activity until she is truly ready to face the risks that come with it. You may also want to make sure that she is also well educated in the prevention of disease and pregnancy. Teach her about all the different methods, so that she can make an educated choice.



What kind of "shot at life" is she going to have if she has been so horribly violated and betrayed by her own mother? You woud force a surgical procedure that nobody can agree whether is alright or not, you would take the right of self-determination from your own child, for what? Do you really think that a teenage girl would appreciate that you thought you knew what was best for her? Do you really think that she would take that "shot at life" the way you want her to? Do you really think she could concentrate well in her studies, and work toward a better life, when she would be spending so much time in therapy?
It could go way wrong. Let's used rape as an analogy. Say a young girl gets raped, oftentimes she reacts in one of three ways; she developes a hatred for men, she becomes promicuous(putting her reproductive and emotional health at serious risk), or she learns to cope and recognize that she did nothing wrong. If a parent forced an abortion on a teen girl she could react similarly; she could develope a hatred for her parent, she could become promiscuous and go on to have numerous abortions(putting her reproductive and emotional health at serious risk), or she could learn to cope and recognize that she did nothing wrong. It's an unfortunate fact the the learning to cope is the most difficult reaction, and as a healing process is the one that takes the longest. Usually, it happens that a girl goes through all three reactions; first she goes through a promiscuous phase while sort of hating guys, then goes through a time of actively disliking men(after she's enabled them to use her), and finally she copes with the reality. It's likely that in the case of a parent forcing abortion a girl would become promiscuous as a way to act out her hatred of that parent, then actively despise that parent and be tormented by a great deal of guilt, and finally recognize that her parent did do a horrific thing but maybe they thought it was best; of course, she should then just drop such a dispicable person from her life because they aren't worth the energy spent feeling so awful. It's so sad to think that you would actually feel good about damaging your own child, your own baby, like that.
Please, consider learning a bit about adolescent psychology before you do serious damage to the emotional health of your children, as well as damage to your relationship with them. Yes, it's sad that teens today are so ill-equipped for life, but that's not their fault; it's the fault of society for saying that they shouldn't be prepared, and their own parents for heeding such nonsense and not preparing them.

Actually, no she couldn't legally force you to get an abortion. However, I hope you don't go getting pregnant until you're fully developed; carrying a baby is hard enough on a grown woman. However, I agree that if you were raped, abortion may be a safer alternative. Still, it would be your decision to make, and no one else's.

Abortion
Ok, like I'm 16 and a half and I'm a month pregnant. I live in Texas, and I'll be 17 when i have the baby. Me and the father are still together and we're going to stay together and get married after I graduate next year. We both know we can do it, even though it's going to be a bit of a struggle and so does his side of the family. But my side of the family thinks I should get an abortion or give it up for adoption. I'm sorry but I can't kill my child, I would never live it down. I'm a Christian, and I know for a fact that God did not intend for me to get pregnant and then kill it. And i can't let somebody else raise my kid, that's mine., so adoption is definitely out of the question for me too. And my boyfriend agrees with me. Well me and my mother have been arguing about this alot, and she said that in the end it'll be her decision and she wants me to get an abortion. Can she legally make me get an abortion against my will when i want this child? And the same goes for adoption, can she legally do that either. I don't think that's right I mean I'm the parent of this child, not her. I should be able to make this decision, and my decision is i want to keep this child. But is it possible?

- Jesse C.[/B]

Re: Abortion


Possible? Anything is possible. From a legal perspective, the decision is YOUR'S however.

If your mother "decides" (i.e. attempts to force you) that you will get an abortion then open your mouth to the medical professional you end up going to. You will have time where it is just you and the doctor or a nurse in the room. Tell them what YOU want. No medical professional is going to abort a your child against your will.

well thank you that help me a whole lot!!!

-Jesse

Absolutely not! Or at least it shouldn't. The legal guardian doesn't own the minor.

I agree with you 100 percent. I would also like to add that I think it is really messed up that A parent can not force a minor to have an abortion. A minor in most cases lack the maturity it takse to make sound decisions for herself. In some cases Some minors are not even able legally seek employment. So why should they have the right to decide if they can keep a child or not. I think that federal law should step in and assume care for the minor and the baby. On the flip side, in some states a parent can be held responsible for the actions of their minors and therefor punished.

Food for thought

I agree with you. 100 percent

The right should not be given to the minor because ultimately she is making a decision for herself and her parents. No minor can decide my path for me. I dont care if its my child or not.

Here is something to think about......... Where I live, the legal age for sexual consent is 16. Under 16 you are considered not of sound mind or not mature enough to engage in sexual activity. It is against the law for evan a 16 year old to engage in sexual activity with a 15 or 14 year old. The charge is statutory rape punishable by prison time. Even if the minor admits that it was consentual, it is still against the law and charges will still be filed. So my question is in a case like this, what if the minor gets pregnant? Her parents can not legally force her to have an abortion?

Little girl you neeed to step back and listen to yourself. At 13, your not old enough to work, your not old enough to vote, your not old enough to drive you, your not old enough to even receive assistance for a child. Your parents can not receive assistance because they are not the legal guardians. So really..........ask yourself this.. How in the hell can you take care of a life??

What I'd like to know is NOT if we can force our daughter to have an abortion but can we force her to give the baby up for adoption?

I want to know if WE have any rights on stopping our minor daughter, who will be 15 when giving birth, from bringing a child into our house simply because she wants to have a baby. She can't even keep her room clean and the only chore she has is doing the dishes each night after supper and she can hardly handle those 7 minutes of work. She has to continually ask how long to microwave leftover food, thought (until a few months ago) that water was free, and failed two courses last report card of high school. When not on phone restriction, the majority of her free time is spent amassing 20,000 to 25,000 sent/received text messages a month.

It's arlready bad enough that EVERYTHING will have to be paid for by us as we wouldn't qualify for government assistance and our son will be starting college in the fall of 2010. BUT, in reality, we will be raising the child because she has no clue on what to do, we will be woke up in the night with all emergencies, pay for all clothing, food, medical care, toys, etc. There is no place for this child in the house (unless you think cramming a child into the daughter's bedroom, an already congested area) is going to suffice. Both of us work so if our daughter isn't too lazy to pursue a high school diploma, where will the child be? Will we also have to pay for daycare?

This immature selfishness of our daughter to demand to have the child and keep the child at our time and expense isn't fair to us and it isn't fair to the other child who may now have to live under a "tightened belt".

So, for all you bleeding hearts, WHY must we accept this and WHY don't we have a right to take the child from the minor and place the child in an adoption agency? WHY in any reasonable society would a 14-15-year old self-centered child have the legal right to have a baby and keep the baby and force us into being the responsible adults. After all, we told her she wasn't mature enough to have her own kitten and take care of it...why would we then allow her to keep a child?

No, I don't think you can force your daughter to give up her baby for adoption, and unfortunately Dickensian workhouses are no longer an option. You are legally obligated to provide for your minor child, and your minor child is legally obligated to provide for her baby, which means (by the transitive property of irresponsibility) that you are stuck with taking care of your grandchild. I suppose the only thing you could do is either petition the court to have your child declared emancipated or else declared a ward of the state. That way you could palm off the burden of supporting both your offspring and your offspring's offspring to the taxpayers of your state.