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Funniest/most embarrassing travel tale! (Or What NOT to do!)

 
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 03:17 pm
Then pretend you're a Kiwi...
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 03:20 pm
What - and LIE?!
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Heeven
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 03:22 pm
LOL - I've got a funny flight story too. Not me but my best friend, also back in the day when smoking was allowed on planes.

We were leaving Ireland for a trip to Portugal, myself and three other crazy gals. We were in the duty free, selecting our poison, when our names were called as the last passengers for flight blah blah blah. We ran, giggling, onto the plane, only to be confronted with a plane-full of angry passengers. Helpfully our seats were at the very rear, so they got some digs in as we struggled all the way to the back. Pilot comes out and we thought "oh oh, we're for it!" Fortunately he habitually gives 50p (Irish currency) to the last passenger as a good luck charm on each flight. My gal pal, who was awarded the token, apparently did not believe in good luck charms, since, mid-flight, she drops her lit cigarette down the side of her chair and sets it ablaze. Screaming and jumping about, all four of us are beating the chair with our magazines (helpful!) and jackets until finally the crew suceed in abating the flames. A few minutes later, upon hearing of the incident, the pilot walks towards the rear of the plane, holds out his hand, and my gal-pal deposits 50p in his palm!
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 03:33 pm
Heeven!!!!! Ohmigod!
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Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 04:05 pm
That's funny, Heeven. Those were the days when we could smoke in flight.

I have an embarassing but true tale about using the onboard facilities. I was drinking too much and chatting away, then realized I needed to use the restroom for a quick pee before the plane landed.

Well, I rushed to the bathroom and locked myself in. Somebody started pounding on the door. Of course, I couldn't then pee. "What?" says I.

"Come out of there immediately," says a distinctly unfriendly voice.

Uh-huh, my pants are down and I'm sitting on the toilet. I'm going to finish peeing somehow. "Oh, just a minute." The pounding continued, then stopped. At last, I could pee in peace. Nearly finished just as the plane touches down. Good grief. Do not try this. I don't know whether it was a particularly bumpy runway or what, but it was a very bumpy landing. My worst thought was, migod, what if we crash? Luckily there are handrails throughout the bathroom (you may never have noticed or needed them, but some are very, very important!).

Finally, I was able to pull up my pants, wash hands (of course) and drag myself out of the bathroom as we were taxi-ing to the gate. A stewardess grabs me and puts me into one of those flip seats, buckling me in but refusing to look at me or say anything except gruff monotones. I might as well have been spanked.

And that is why I never get drunk on airplanes anymore.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 04:08 pm
Piffka!!!! LOL! The traveller's nightmare! I find it hard to pee in moving loos at the best of times - but when you have an angry hall monitor yelling at you!!! Good on you for stan...er...SITTING your ground!
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Heeven
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 04:16 pm
You crack me up - crack geddit?
Okay so that was a piddly pun - piddly??
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Asherman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 04:30 pm
Bunny,

I don't think the Father-in-Law knows to this day the awkwardness of that moment. I think the vice-president who got to be our driver got a bonus later.
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Eve
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 04:46 pm
It didn't happen to me but I read of two ladies visiting an Asian country who bought bamboo hats in the market and wore them back to the hotel, thinking everybody was particularly friendly on their way back as they got lots of smiles. They were later told that their hats were wok covers.

My own embarrassing moment was on a very long haul flight after a debilitating illness and while waiting to get into the toilet I fainted. The embarrassment was when I was coming round and heard the steward say "She's OK, she's coming round" and then he hastily pulled my skirt down over my knees. Now why didn't they do that before I woke up!
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Eve
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 04:47 pm
Patiodog - you can't pretend to be a kiwi - we are unique.
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patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 04:50 pm
I'll say.
http://www.new-zealand.com/nzguide/images/kiwi.jpg
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JoanneDorel
 
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Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 05:03 pm
Eve it is so easy for Americans to be stupid in Asia. Just had to edit this one Ameircans can be seen being stupid stuff while traveling in any country even in the US.

While sitting on the bench at a bus stop in Honolulu on my way home from Japan several Japanese tourists came up to me and asked for directions. I expalined I was just visiting and did not have a clue. When they asked where I was going and from where I told them I was traveling back to the states from Japan, we all had a good laugh.

On one trip to Hiroshima I flew up to some folks in the shopping district to say hey since they looked like non military Americans - they were German from Germany Embarrassed
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 06:31 pm
I used to travel for a living. 200 days away from home per year does not make for fun times. It took me a few years before I would travel for pleasure again.

One of my first trips on business was to Honolulu. This, of course, is many hours in the air and many hours differential in terms of jet lag. Anyway, this was a fairly large group audit and I had to make the hotel and car arrangements. Fortunately, everyone took care of their own plane tickets. There were four of us on the audit - two from Boston and two from California.

The audit was to start on a Monday. So, I flew out on Saturday, as did everyone else on the team except for my boss, since we all figured we'd have a fighting chance to shake a little jet lag before starting. I was a new employee and this was the last part of my training. I was verrrry nervous about this job. Anyway, I had no idea the boss was planning to fly out on Sunday, but she was. She had not bothered to tell me, even though we sat only a few offices from one another. I had better communications with the CPA in California!

So, she doesn't show up. And, I'm concerned, and I don't have her home number. I send emails, they go unanswered. Finally, I just figure she's coming in later, as there's nothing I can do about this.

She shows up the following day. And, naturally, her reserved room is gone. I hadn't realized it would be a good idea to cancel it or something. And, the hotel is charging her for the unused day. The hotel had a room for the following night, though.

So, I put her up in my room (there were 2 twin beds in my room). There I am, a new employee, with my boss seeing me in my ratty tee shirt and shorts (sleeping attire), plus of course I was the cause of most of the travel problems (although she should have told me she was coming in later than everyone else). Finally, the hotel was convinced not to charge her for the unused day. Since they lost her dry cleaning, I suppose they figured that'd somehow make up for things.

The audit lasts all week, and we work 12- and 14-hour days. We see absolutely nothing of Hawaii, except for the airport, the conference room of the law firm we're auditing (out of its window, we can see the beach - torture!), and the hotel. Everyone is delirious with exhaustion and jet lag - by the last day, I am practically begging to go somewhere for five minutes so that I can stick my toes in the sand. Of course, this request is refused, as there's too much work to do.

We finally head home and I am on the same flight as my boss, who I try hard not to talk to. But, I still need to be good, as we're sitting next to each other. So, I take out my laptop and do the report for the Audit from Hell.

Weeks later, her dry cleaning still doesn't show up. She had brought all of her dry cleaning to the hotel as she didn't have the time in her life to give it to a cleaner in Boston. So, she was out a couple of thousand in clothes, and finally got a settlement from the hotel about a year later - six months after she'd left the company and gone to work for a competitor.
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margo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 08:16 pm
C'mon Deb - we'll accept Oz stories. Razz Oz is overseas for at least some here!

As you know, I'm a sensible, conservative, organised, respectable traveller. I don't have any embarrassing stories.

It wasn't my fault I got deported from Yemen! Twisted Evil
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JoanneDorel
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 08:48 pm
Jespah that is terrible, did you get her position when she left?

Margo they kicked YOU out of Yemen, must have been that funny way y'all talk.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 08:55 pm
I still can't think of any really good stories. I bet my traveling companions can
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 09:24 pm
Do we win a prize or someth'n for the best one? Wink c.i.
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 09:29 pm
it was a hot summer day on July 23, 1952, but then every day in Cairo was hot. i was but a mere prat of a child and we landed at Cairo to refuel on our way to Rome. Upon disembarking from our plane we were surrounded by a troop of Epyptian soldiers armed to the teeth that escorted us into a baggage holding area at the airport were we were locked up. there we no seats nor food but we remained in that locked room overnight with no word as to why or what was happening to us. The following morning we were again marched out to our plane and we flew on to Rome. Reading the local papers at the airport in Rome when we arrived we discovered we had been through a revolution in which King Farouk was overthrown by his son. It was quite an adventure.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 09:31 pm
wow, dyslexia, that's amazing!
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jan, 2003 09:39 pm
Wow, dys, the Cairo airport is still the same one! When we were there in March of last year, some of our baggage didn't arrive with the plane, so we had to fill out 'missing baggage' forms. It was already dark outside, and the light went out! Some guy in our group had a flashlight with him, and I thought, wow, he must've been a boy scout too! c.i.
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