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My daughter cries when dad leaves

 
 
Reply Sun 17 Aug, 2014 06:43 am
My 6 years daughter's dad and I been separate for nearly 5 years now. Recently my daughter cries when he leaves or doesn't want to come back to my house any more. He used to sleep in my house one night a week but I stop that, now stays till she is asleep but if he has to go earlier she doesn't let him go, cries and doesn't want me. I'm so hurt I do my very best for her, he lives his life and doesn't pay for her but looks like she prefers him. I don't know how to cope with this and not to do or say something will affect her even more. Please I need some advice how to cope.
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 966 • Replies: 3
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Aug, 2014 08:16 am
This is not unusual. Little girls are in love with their daddy at that age - idolize them. Later, she will transfer those feelings to the little boys she sees every day. So she needs to have healthy relationship with her dad. Encourage him to help make her more confident and realize she will see him again.

She is also picking up feelings from you. Did you put your live on hold after the divorce, or are you an independent, vital woman who is confident in the world?

You must model behavior for this child to follow. Be sure she gets exposure to lots of people.
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Aug, 2014 05:52 am
@Gheorghe,
Quote:
I'm so hurt I do my very best for her, he lives his life and doesn't pay for her but looks like she prefers him. I don't know how to cope with this and not to do or say something will affect her even more. Please I need some advice how to cope.


Assumming there are no other issues. I would not be worried about this. Many young children will the same thing with a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or other caregiver that isn't even related to them.

It isn't even that she may prefer her dad over you. Does she cry for a long time after he leaves? She probably simply just misses him or maybe was having fun with him or simply the transition is difficult for her. Most likely she will eventually grow out of it.

Try to make the exit with dad as quick and routine as possible. If you can make it typically the same time each time he comes by. She will get used to this as the norm. Simply let dad say at say 5pm ok time for daddy to go will see you at 10 on Monday. Give a hug and kiss and say bye-bye. Then he leaves whether she cries throws a fit or whatever. Leave her alone after until is done with crying.

It may make you feel better if you realize it is not that a child prefers one parent over another as much as it could be a change in routine.
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deenamathew
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Aug, 2014 03:44 am
@Gheorghe,
Because every will get very attached to their dad. Max of the girls will love to be with their dad. Its separation anxiety I would think. Means they have a pretty strong bond. It should just be a phase.
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