Husband's consent before abortion

Forums: Legal, Relationships, Abortion, Parenting, Custody
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July 2006 in CT, my WIFE; 3 months pregnant, called in a firvolus portective order against me and got me kicked out of the home. She never came to face the court after that and charges were eventually dismissed. While having me out with temporary protective order, she aborted my child within a week of separation visiting NY. Couple months down the road we did unite but again in 2013, she is repeating the same behavior and not allowing me to see my 2 toddler daughters inspite of paying allimoney and child support. Unfortunately the legal system is clearly biased against fathers and any sane person will clearly tell that judge's decision was wrong about order but still they do it. Of course, it generates them money and runs this crapy family court's system where judges benefits are promoted for their numbers of protective orders and forced jails they order to fathers. I can write a book on the societal detrimental effects of current family court's abuse of fathers but will be beyond the scope of this forum. Anyways; the question is Can I do anything legal against my wife regarding her one sided abortion decision while forcing me with protective order in 2006. If there are differnet aspects about where and how to file it? what should be the language of petition? what kind of compensation I can ask for? or other relevant things? please answer in detail. Ladies: If any of you think that I am an abuser; you are wrong. I used to cherish my wife and love my kids, well educated physician with no bad records at all what so ever. No infidelity, no alcohol, not even family to interfere. I am purely a victim of protective order abuse. So please keep your biased opinions with yourself and do trust that legal system abuse by women against their spouses is something that is hurting your own benefits in the long run. you are changing the bond of marriage to a business model and even that is not working due to one sided benefits. Also trust me, you still don't win; even if you think you do. you loose and your kids suffer for the rest of their lives. So honest answers please and assit me if you know some specific legal articles about my question. Thanks a lot.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 6 • Views: 1,837 • Replies: 18

@myoneQs,

You have a wife who aborted your child and then you got back together and have more children by her?

Yes, the legal system can be very unfair to husbands and fathers but even if it was far fairer it would not likely offer must protection to someone like you that such poor judgments.

The first time, I found out that my then wife was lying to a court over a protection order I have my lawyer file for a divorce and never lay eyes on her again.

I also have over a twenty years relationship with my current wife before I sign another married license.

Oh to answer your question a woman under the SC ruling have a Constitution right to have an abortion and no one else on this earth have any rights in the matter including the fathers of the children to be.

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@myoneQs,

Do Connecticut laws require a woman to have a man's permission before having a medical procedure?

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@Butrflynet,

Quote:

Do Connecticut laws require a woman to have a man's permission before having a medical procedure?

Connecticut laws can not take away a constitution right no matter what it happen to be and state laws that grant husbands a said in their wife medical decisions, assume the wife have the legal capacity to run her own affairs, is long in the past.

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@Butrflynet,

Abortion is more then a medical procedure. A man can't give a woman a tumor that would have to be removed. It takes two, man AND woman, to get a woman pregnant. Why should the wish's of the "father" be ignored? What if the man was willing to care for the child if it were carried to term? After all if they do not want the kid, the law still says they have to pay child support does it not? The wish's of men mean nothing. They can't refuse to pay for a child they did not want but they also have no recourse to get the child if they want it.

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@Baldimo,

Quote:

Why should the wish's of the "father" be ignored?

Perhaps because she and she alone is taking the pain and the risk of carrying a fetus to term within her body?

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@myoneQs,

myoneQs wrote:

in 2013, she is repeating the same behavior and not allowing me to see my 2 toddler daughters inspite of paying allimoney and child support.

If you are paying alimony and child support it suggests you are at least legally separated, if not divorced.

If separated, is this a person you are hoping to reconcile with in the future?

Are you hoping to gain legal access to your children?

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@BillRM,

So then why force the father to pay for the child if the mother is assuming all the risks? It is all one sided and removes any doubt that there really is no war on women, they seem to be in charge.

1 Reply

@Baldimo,

Quote:

So then why force the father to pay for the child if the mother is assuming all the risks? It is all one sided and removes any doubt that there really is no war on women, they seem to be in charge

Your comment does not make sense.

As a woman needing to assume all the risks in bringing new life into the world does not somehow mean that a father have no economic responsibility for the child.

My guess is that most women would love to share the discomfort and the risks to their health with the father if they could do so.

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@BillRM,

Is the DNA of the child not half the fathers?

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@Baldimo,

Quote:

Is the DNA of the child not half the fathers?

An that fact somehow give the father the right to demand that the woman place her comfort on hold and risk her health and perhaps her very life to carry the fetus to term?

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@BillRM,

I would agree with you if the majority of abortions were done for medical health reasons. Unfortunately that is not the majority of abortions. If the sex was consensual why shouldn't the abortion be? The baby is not purely of the woman. If it were then I would say that men shouldn't have any say. But that isn't the case. A father rights shouldn't be denied just because he doesn't have to carry the baby. I'll say it again, if he didn't want the baby, should he be forced to pay child support? It seems when it comes to fathers they don't have any rights at all. They are either evil sperm donors, or they are meant to be cash machines. Where does a fathers right come into play?

Comfort? A woman would get an abortion because it would make her uncomfortable to be pregnant? Talk about narcissism at it's finest.

I have had some friends who have been in this position. Their fiance was pregnant and they were set to be married. She broke off the engagement and had an abortion. He wanted the child and nothing else. He would have cared for the child and it would have been 9 months out of her life. Nothing more.

I have another friend in about the same situation except she said the baby belonged to someone she had an affair with. They broke up and she married the other guy. 10 years later she and the state of CO came after him for 5 years of child support "she was owed" from when she divorced he ex husband. A woman lied and a man walked away. 10 years later she comes asking for money for a child she said wasn't his. They took DNA tests and it was his daughter. He agreed to the payments if he could see the daughter. The ex said no and he didn't get to see the kid but was still forced to pay.

Can you explain where the fathers rights were in all of this?

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@Baldimo,

Quote:

If the sex was consensual why shouldn't the abortion be? The baby is not purely of the woman. If it were then I would say that men shouldn't have any say

No way on this earth or any other earth does a man have a right to tell a woman that she need to carry a fetus to term against her will.

If a man wish a woman to carry his child to term I would suggest being as nice to her as possible.

In any case it is her body and her rights one way or another.

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@Baldimo,

Now I will support a lot of men fairness issues once a child is born but not one second before.

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@BillRM,

So you would support the father not paying child support for a child he didn't want?

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@Baldimo,

Quote:

So you would support the father not paying child support for a child he didn't want?

Yes, under very limited conditions.

Not being married or in a long term relationship and not letting a reasonable woman to believed that he would indeed support a child if one happen.

He would have to declare at once and soon enough for the woman to have an early abortion if that is what she wish to do so.

An he would need to finance the abortion if that is what the woman decided to do.

Of course he would need to renounce all rights of parenthood in writing.

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I have read everyone's replies. thanks for that; I appreciate.
I have seen the horrible face of family courts,it's lawyers/judges and their anti fathers biased preoccupied minds. The family courts are truly serving not merely to break the families but also forcing fathers to be criminals.
Its a judicial torture without any evidences and facts. Lies win; the courts, the so called victim helping hands organizations win. The worst losers are kids who suffer for life. Strictly doubt courts have any idea what a mess they are creating in families lives.
To convince father's to keep accepting anything and everything; there are organized programs like fatherhood support groups which play drama under the same courts supervision to convince fathers that they are wrong.
There is just no limit of fathers abuse in current laws; right when the heat is on and forever.
I am ashamed on the current antifamily practices of family courts. This is one of many reasons why marriages are dying and nation of bastards in growing kicking fathers from their kid's life.
I suggest all guys..............never, ever, ever get married and even if you do...only make kids after making sure she makes more money than you so she has no interests to hurt you abusing your kids.
I hope some authoritative personalities take a look into this serious matter our nation is facing. The percentage of such cases has risen so high that there is an open market and incentives for those who want to abuse the system.
God bless all

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@myoneQs,

LOL....Yes indeed getting married and then starting a family with a woman is similar to handing her a loaded shotgun and after cocking it telling her anytime she get mad at you for any reason she should just pull the trigger.

An I was at least as bad/mad as you are now after my divorce over never never getting myself in a situation where any woman could cause me that kind of pain by marrying her.

The only solution is to first find and get to know beyond question that you can trust the lady before marrying her as the only protection you now have is not the law but your own judgment concerning the character of the woman.

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@myoneQs,

Document and have witnesses.... to withhold visitation rights is a serious offense. It sounds to me like you have unresolved emotional issues concerning the relationship. As far as the abortion...it's her right. It's her body. It's surprising that as a physician you don't recognize that. You stated that you "USED TO" cherish your wife and love your children..yep, go back read what you wrote. .there are many reasons protective orders are dismissed, for example, if the husband and wife get back together. Many women return to abusive relationships. That doesn't mean they are not truly being abused.

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Husband's consent before abortion

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