Reinstatement letter // help make it better (reviews?)

please i really want to get back to my college.. help me out maybe? make this a better letter i beg you guys please! desperate!

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from California State University Sacramento. My academic suspension did not come as a surprise but I was nonetheless devastated to receive this news. I hope you will consider reinstating me for the fall 2013 semester.
I admit, I had a very difficult time last semester, and my grades suffered as a result. I don't mean to make excuses for my poor academic performance, but I would like to explain the circumstances. At the beginning of my semester in college my grandfather became very ill. He had requested the presence of his grandkids almost every day so I had traveled to Maxwell, Ca almost every day which took more than 4 hours of my study time. Our family was going through a very difficult time and I was deeply affected by this family matter. I lost my grandfather in the beginning of spring 2014 semester; I fell into a deep depression, it felt as if my world came crashing down, I was truly lost within myself. I couldn’t concentrate on my studies for the following semester after his death. Shortly after the funeral we were facing a lot of financial issues; we were in a deep risk of losing our house so I had to start looking for any type of money source and having to work late I was losing alot of study time.
Faced with academic suspension, I have realized that I cannot maintain this self-destructive behavior. I am deeply disappointed in myself because I have the ability to do better. I have decided to switch my major from Computer Science to undeclared (just until I find the appropriate major for me), I first chose this major because I thought it might be something I would enjoy doing, but I found it was not the right choice for me. If reinstated, I plan on going to tutoring after class, utilizing office hours, and completing available extra credit assignments in order to achieve good academic standing. Also, once I receive my schedule, I will construct a study time table for homework assignments and preparations for exams. That was also one of the reasons why I didn’t do well. I will never let my personal matters interfere with my college life again; I now realize that college is a serious matter. This is my future, and I will not let go to waste.

If I am reinstated my motivation to succeed will be at a level that can push me to my limits and beyond. If I’m allowed to be put on probation one more time I will have the upmost gratitude for a second chance because, I know that they don’t come around too often. I will focus much better on my schoolwork, take fewer hours, and manage my time more wisely.
Please understand that my low GPA that led to my dismissal does not indicate that I am a bad student. Really, I'm a good student who had one very, very bad semester. I hope you will give me a second chance. Thank you for considering this appeal.

Sincerely,
To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from California State University Sacramento. My academic suspension did not come as a surprise but I was nonetheless devastated to receive this news. I hope you will consider reinstating me for the fall 2013 semester.
I admit, I had a very difficult time last semester, and my grades suffered as a result. I don't mean to make excuses for my poor academic performance, but I would like to explain the circumstances. At the beginning of my semester in college my grandfather became very ill. He had requested the presence of his grandkids almost every day so I had traveled to Maxwell, Ca almost every day which took more than 4 hours of my study time. Our family was going through a very difficult time and I was deeply affected by this family matter. I lost my grandfather in the beginning of spring 2014 semester; I fell into a deep depression, it felt as if my world came crashing down, I was truly lost within myself. I couldn’t concentrate on my studies for the following semester after his death. Shortly after the funeral we were facing a lot of financial issues; we were in a deep risk of losing our house so I had to start looking for any type of money source and having to work late I was losing alot of study time.
Faced with academic suspension, I have realized that I cannot maintain this self-destructive behavior. I am deeply disappointed in myself because I have the ability to do better. I have decided to switch my major from Computer Science to undeclared (just until I find the appropriate major for me), I first chose this major because I thought it might be something I would enjoy doing, but I found it was not the right choice for me. If reinstated, I plan on going to tutoring after class, utilizing office hours, and completing available extra credit assignments in order to achieve good academic standing. Also, once I receive my schedule, I will construct a study time table for homework assignments and preparations for exams. That was also one of the reasons why I didn’t do well. I will never let my personal matters interfere with my college life again; I now realize that college is a serious matter. This is my future, and I will not let go to waste.

If I am reinstated my motivation to succeed will be at a level that can push me to my limits and beyond. If I’m allowed to be put on probation one more time I will have the upmost gratitude for a second chance because, I know that they don’t come around too often. I will focus much better on my schoolwork, take fewer hours, and manage my time more wisely.
Please understand that my low GPA that led to my dismissal does not indicate that I am a bad student. Really, I'm a good student who had one very, very bad semester. I hope you will give me a second chance. Thank you for considering this appeal.

Sincerely,