Do you follow your Head or your Heart?

It reeeeally depends on the matter at hand and my history, or 'batting average' with such matters.

Depends on the situation. In business I go with my head. In making large purchases or investments with my head. I am basically a thinking type of person so I mainly go with my head. However, in things like children and family I tend to go with my heart.

Yeh, I suspected that most people would answer with "it depends". That was my first inclination as well, but then I began to question my own answer and decided that I almost always follow my head, no matter what.

So, you go with your heart in "family" situations even if your head says it's wrong?

Can you give an example? Maybe I just can't think of a time/place when I do this.

Thanks,

When it comes to a job, making large purchases, personal decisions (like writing a will for instance) I always use my head. If I see a piece of expensive jewelry that I really want I will go home and wait a few days. If, after a couple days I still really want it, I'll go back and buy it. Well actually, my hubby will buy it for me. :wink: Most of the time though, after time passes and my head rules my heart, I find that I don't want it so much after all.

When it comes to family matters, I will initially go with my heart. Give the family member/situation the benefit of the doubt. However, I am not beyond using my head when it comes to family. An example of that would be my son who is 22. After 3 years of getting in trouble...screwing up in general, I've decided it's time for tough love. No more enabling him. I find that practicing tough love has been liberating for me. I am no longer responsible for the bad choices he makes. Realizing and understanding that he is an adult gives me a peace of mind. I've put his future in God's hands and focus on mine....while continuing to love him nonetheless.

Here is a heart example:

I go to pick up my daughter at my mom's house, she comes to me crying and I pick her up instinctively. I know in my head my mother did not do anything to her and she is just tired, but I still baby her even though I know in my head it is better not to encourage such behavior.

Like I said before I am more of head over heart position, but there are times like above where my heart takes over. I once took a personality class at work. Basically my personality came up stronger with thinker over feeler (even though I am a woman). One exercise called for us to determine who should be saved from a sinking ship with only so much room - for the majority of the people, I used my head to determine who should stay and who should go. I threw the 80 year old lady off without any regret, but when it came to the 6 year old boy whose parents have already perished, I vouched no matter what he should be saved. Upon some one arguing he would be a dredge on society because he has no parents to take care of him, I proclaimed, "No he wouldn't, I would adopt him!" Now that was my feeling side!

As doglover stated above, I don't always go with my heart in family matters because that can lead to trouble, in my opinion. It's our nature to give, give, give to those we love and care about but while we're giving, they're taking and, especially with older children, they can end up spoiled and incapable of doing for themselves so, you've done them more harm than good by giving them everything. Even with family, it's best to run ideas by both your heart and your mind.
Does anyone see a difference between decisions coming from your heart as opposed to your gut? Intuition? Instinct?

So often the heart has already decided and the head just marshalls reasons to justify that decision.

Whenever I've made a decision that was based on the feelings in my heart, I often turned a blind eye to the obvious. I've chosen to 'look the other way'. As I've gotten older, more and more decisions come from my gut. Gut decisions are based more in fact/reality.

Purchases made based on the feelings in my heart happened when I was younger (wants as opposed to needs) haven't ever been anything I really regretted. After paying off the note, I learned real quick to 'sleep on it' before making a large purchase.

I agree with Linkat. Sometimes I go with my heart, others times with my head, and occasionally with my balls. Context is all. Oh, appropriateness is also important.

But in all cases I'm going with my spirit (but that's another topic).

A combo works best for me. Of course, sometimes I end up with an even split and so I just follow my feet.

I think I follow my head to much, and it gets me in trouble.

I guess you could say I go with my heart, if that means I'd pick a job I liked over a job that made more money, for instance. I really can't think of an instance where I'd pick a more logical thing over something I wanted more. What's the point in life if you can't do what you want?

I used to be ruled totally by my heart; and now, it's almost the opposite.

There are very few times, IMO, that the heart is right.

Like rufio's job decision... Picking the lower-paying job isn't a heart choice, IMO. If he weighs logically, how the higher-paying job may affect his health--how the longer hours, or increased stress may impact his marriage or ability to balance his life--the head choice may be the lower-paying job.


You can employ your head in choosing for health, comfort and balance.

This reminds me of the airplane depressurizing question. The oxygen masks fall in front of the parent, who's heart says--Put the baby's/child's mask on first--when the head choice is to put yours on first.

Interesting, I was just talking with a friend about how my combo tends to work. I often have very strong "heart" feelings... but I won't ACT on them unless my head is on board. Heh. It came up in terms of my house hunting -- I have had very very strong feelings about the house I'm going after pretty much from the get-go, but my head has forced me to be ruthless about PROVING that it is the best possible house. We got the toughest home inspector we could find, I did some serious number-crunching, and at all points I have kind of told my heart to sit down and shut up and wait until the coast is clear. But my heart usually is what gets things going, and has had pretty good instincts.

When I asked myself the head or heart question, I began by thinking that my head rules my actions. But then I realized that my head is basically trying to fulfil my hearts desires. And my heart wants things, but it's more desirous off things which also satisfy my head.

So I'm having trouble deciding if I can separate them at all. They seem to be entwined to the point where I can't tell which motivates the other.

Basically, I'm OK going with head or heart.
It's certain other body parts making the decisions that get me in trouble.

Yeah I certainly can relate.

A couple of years ago I followed my left elbow --- oy what a mess that caused!

I know exactly what you mean George.

Used to play basketball with a guy like that. My ribs still hurt.