Sexism and birth control

@ehBeth,

ehBeth wrote:

cortnik wrote:
I've heard talk and promises of male birth control for about a decade now,

make that at least 45 years of hearing that on my part

The science behind a male birth control pill is a lot more complicated than the female pill.

Given the fact that a male birth control pill would mean more options, more control and more reproductive freedom for men, I really don't see how this sexist conspiracy theory makes any sense.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

The biological process of pregnancy lasts only 9 months. Actually it is not that important in the grand scheme of things. Going through the process of pregnancy does not ensure that someone will be a good parent.

Parenting is far more important. Being a parent lasts a lifetime.

re the bolded sections above....Obviously.

I have always known I would not be a good parent, as well as not wanting children in the first place.

Why then, knowing I didn't want to go through 9 months of pregnancy, childbirth, or any part of child rearing or care, would I not want to be responsible for my own actions?

I don't want the baby, pregnancy, childbirth, child rearing, expense, or anything related to raising a child into adulthood, or then having a relationship to that adult.

Hence, it's my responsibility not to put myself in that situation.

In the case of making sure your partner takes their bc, it's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of forgetfulness. Anyone can forget, and if someone doesn't want to get pregnant, it's their responsibilty to make sure the other person doesn't forget.

That is so naive to suggest that because a person trusts another, that means that other person will unfailing do what they should, not even out of design, but accident.

My husband is on specific supplements and so am I. At night before bed we have a habit of asking each other if we remembered to take them. There are times when both of us say "whoops, I forgot", then go and take them.

Do we trust each other in life? Of course, we wouldn't have stayed together for decades if we didn't. Do either of us have unfailing memories? No.

Would I have ever allowed myself to get pregnant based on a "whoops, I forgot"? Of course not.

In fact, when we first decided to get intimate years ago, my husband told me he had a vasectomy. My response?...."Show me the scars."

Which he did.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

Personally, I'm not sure that I would trust anyone else with the responsibility of preventing me from getting pregnant, either. However, I think that should be an option, both for those women who do have a partner they trust, and for men who want to be better able to protect themselves. Besides that, I think if men were able to and pushed to put their own bodies and dollars on the line when it comes to preventing pregnancy, it would help at least some women who struggle with these issues. Currently, hormonal bc is the predominant method. It can cause many side effects, some serious and even life threatening and is hard for some women's bodies to take. Also, at least as far as the men/couples I know of, I think it's uncommon for the man to pay for the "women's" bc. The new health care laws should help that issue, but unfortunately there are still close-minded, chauvanistic people out there fighting these laws.

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@chai2,

maxdancona wrote:

The biological process of pregnancy lasts only 9 months. Actually it is not that important in the grand scheme of things. Going through the process of pregnancy does not ensure that someone will be a good parent.

Parenting is far more important. Being a parent lasts a lifetime.]

I tell you what Max, get back to me after YOU have been pregnant with twins, can only sleep in an upright position because if you recline you pass out. I would also love to hear how the whole nursing baby thing worked out for you. You know as much about this as I know how it feels to be kicked in the testicles by a horse. Birth control for men is complicated because many men think any restrictions on their mighty sword is emasculating, but accidental pregnancies are no big deal because women's bodies are designed for a mans need to ultimately relax and light a cigarette.

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Guys wear condoms out of fear of expensive babies, not because we want to. Nobody is in any hurry to change this (STD's).

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@glitterbag,

Glitterbag, I have no problem with your complaints about how physically taxing a pregnancy can be. Clearly you are correct, I have never directly experienced pregnancy. I don't know how long you have been a parent. But I hope you agree with me that raising children is both challenging and deeply rewarding.

However, I have a big problem with your bitter characterization of men.

And I have a really big problem with your implication that sex is something that is solely for a man's pleasure. I mean come on! Would you say that men's bodies are designed for a woman's need to ultimately relax and light a cigarette?

We decided in the 1950's that women enjoy sex as well as men. Please Gitterbag. Come join us in the 21st century.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Guys wear condoms out of fear of expensive babies, not because we want to. Nobody is in any hurry to change this (STD's).

That, or if it's a one night stand, out of fear of STD's

If it were a one night stand, you could be sure I'd insist on a condom.

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@chai2,

Quote:

If it were a one night stand, you could be sure I'd insist on a condom.

Ten years ago in swing clubs no guy would even ask to forgo the condom, now condoms tend to not even be mandatory by club rules, they are advised. I think now it is assumed that unless needle tracks can be seen or the guy seems gay the chances that he has HIV are practically zero, and every thing else is no big deal. I dont know how this tracks the general public but I sure see a lot of fluid exchanges on Tumblr....and almost never a condom.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

Glitterbag, I have no problem with your complaints about how physically taxing a pregnancy can be. Clearly you are correct, I have never directly experienced pregnancy. I don't know how long you have been a parent. But I hope you agree with me that raising children is both challenging and deeply rewarding.

However, I have a big problem with your bitter characterization of men.

And I have a really big problem with your implication that sex is something that is solely for a man's pleasure. I mean come on! Would you say that men's bodies are designed for a woman's need to ultimately relax and light a cigarette?

We decided in the 1950's that women enjoy sex as well as men. Please

Gitterbag. Come join us in the 21st century.

In the 20th century we had Masters and Johnson. Women have known for centuries that males who love and want to share love knew that women enjoy sex maybe more than men.

I'm not bitter about men, you just annoy me with your simplistic view of pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, all the things that keep mother and child tethered for so long. If you don't play a big part in your children's raising, that's on you. My dad took me everywhere. He was a rock. So was Mom, always there for us.

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@glitterbag,

Glitterbag wrote:

Birth control for women is complicated because many women think any restrictions on their mystical uterus takes away their femininity, but accidental pregnancies are no big deal because men's bodies are designed for a woman's need to ultimately relax and light a cigarette.

Read what you wrote again Glitterbag. Don't you see why I might find this a little bit offensive?

All I am suggesting is that in the 21st century, we should view both people in a sexual relationship, or a parenting partnership, as equals. Birth control is part of this.

If this is a simplistic view, then so be it.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

Glitterbag wrote:
Birth control for women is complicated because many women think any restrictions on their mystical uterus takes away their femininity, but accidental pregnancies are no big deal because men's bodies are designed for a woman's need to ultimately relax and light a cigarette.

Read what you wrote again Glitterbag. Don't you see why I might find this a little bit offensive?

All I am suggesting is that in the 21st century, we should view both people in a sexual relationship, or a parenting partnership, as equals. Birth control is part of this.

If this is a simplistic view, then so be it.

You not only sound ridiculous, you sound like Mike Huckabee. When you old guys and young men who learned at your knee, learn to see it as an equal partnership and step to support the children they fathered, I will fly a flag. Until that day, perhaps all male babies delivered in a hospital or registered at birth will have a DNA sample taken in order to lessen the burden on the taxpayers. If we can identify a dad, then we know who needs to chip in (and I don't mean diapers). I think it would be a wonderful step toward eliminating poverty.

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@glitterbag,

Putting boys in a law enforcement database the instant they are born based only on their gender...

I don't see why any reasonable person would have a problem with that.

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@glitterbag,

Amen sister.

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@chai2,

Here is an interesting question since you are talking about forcing people (at birth) to give DNA for a paternity tests.

You each had children. Did you have paternity tests done on them?

This is really funny. I would think that insisting on paternity tests is more offensive to women than to men in the same way that male birth control pills would benefit men more than women.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

Here is an interesting question since you are talking about forcing people (at birth) to give DNA for a paternity tests.

You each had children. Did you have paternity tests done on them?

I suggest you actually read my post that is the second one on this page idiot.

1 Reply

@chai2,

I just went back and read your posts Chai. The only thing you said in this thread about paternity tests is "Amen sister".

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

You each had children.

I guess I need to spell this out to you max. You made the above comment referring to both me and glitterbag.

Now reread that post again.

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There are a few romantic notions that need to be identified as "not everybody thinks the same way", not every little girl dreams of her wedding as as the zenith of her life and not every male hankers to be the patriarch and provider for children they produce.

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@maxdancona,

I think I agree with just about everything you have written in this thread max. Time to hang yourself.

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@cortnik,

How is it sexist?

Condoms predate the pill and most other means. Were they sexist?

It easier to come up with a way to chemically prevent pregnancy in a woman than it is to perpetually kill or disable sperm cells in a man. This is sexist?

Exactly who has been promising you a birth control pill for men?

For the time being, only women get pregnant. Some women see this as a blessing and others see it as a curse but only fools consider it sexist.

Blame evolution.

All the snarky comments about how men would think about pregnancy if they were the ones getting pregnant are based on the silly premise that the biological tables were turned in an instance. If the male gender gave birth from the very start, it would be very much like the female gender today. Some clowns would even be arguing that women couldn't handle getting pregnant.

1 Reply

Sexism and birth control

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