Side Effects Include Game

Feralfartitis: Feralfartitis is a very serious side effect of consuming huge amounts of leafy green vegetables - whilst it is acknowledged that leafy greens are an important part of the human diet it should be understood that consuming excessive amounts will create many problems, chief among them feral farts that escape without notice

Gluttonectalis:
After effect resulting from getting your money's worth at the lunch buffet.

Hacking cough: This is the side-effect cough you get when you participate in hacking with other horse-riders who haven't had the appropriate number of covid jabs... it is not unusual for your hack to get a hacking cough also, Equine influenza being a common malady among that class of animal

Irregular Interpretation of Reality: If after taking Represitol you find yourself outside in the snow chasing after something whose paw prints are curiously missing while yours are quite plain to see, and a neighbor witnesses your abnormal behavior and contacts the authorities, it is important that you NOT mention the fact that you take Represitol.

If an unfortunate side effect such as the one mentioned above does occur, and you do decide to mention Represitol to the authorities, it will result in the disappearance of your medical files from your doctor's office. Though it may come as a shock to you, your doctor's loyalties are such that your well-being is not even in the top forty on his list of things that matter, whereas we are number-one on that list due to generous kickbacks and other generous incentives. In fact, if you were made aware of the "you-scratch-my-back, I'll-scratch-yours" relationship we have with all medical professionals who prescribe our drugs, it would likely make you sick; in which case, you should ask your doctor if our new anti-nausea medication is right for you.

Also, it is not advisable to consider filing a lawsuit against the makers of Represitol in the event that you are observed engaging in loony-toons behavior. After all, who do you think a jury is going to believe, you--a psychologically challenged nobody in possession of a bottle of Kalmitol without your name on it who chases after nonexistent mammals in the snow--or the well-dressed, well-groomed, and hard-working professionals at Represitol?

LOL! Get real!!

^

Jitters: 'Jitters' is the side effect of giving up alcohol, drugs, tobacco, some breads, exotic fruits, and certain grasses that have a hallucinatory effect... 'Jitters' provided the name for that dance-craze of the 1930s and '40s whereby the unusual bodily movements of a personage undergoing withdrawal from the above-mentioned medications were copied by layabout teenagers and others of that ilk and named 'the Jitterbug', the 'bug' portion of the name appended because they thought their crazed so-called 'dancing' would bug the oldies

Knockeritis headache
Result of hearing too many Knock-knock jokes

Lycanthomorphosis: You may experience accelerated hair growth in unexpected areas, and accelerated nail growth in expected areas. You may also experience aggressive, hostile . . . hell, even violent feelings toward others, in which case, stay away from all things silver.

Moreitis: Moreitis is a side effect of being a glutton and never being satisfied with what is on your plate; the word first appears in Dicken's tale of woe 'Oliver Twist', although it never made it into print, the Censor deeming it a word that would encourage more such action, making Moreitis self-generating and therefore unsuitable for public consumption

Noncirculosis: In some instances, people who took Restashurd experienced a sudden stoppage in blood circulation. If this occurs, call 911 using as little movement as possible, and keep your breathing down to a minimum while considering the possibility that Reshashurd was not to blame.

Oddityitis: This is a side effect of moving among eccentrics, bag ladies, hoboes, tramps, lawyers and earth-moving contractors... it all seems a little bit funny in the beginning but soon takes on a sinister note as your Oddness increases... the only treatment available consists of several months at 'Dant's Kick-It Resort & Antiques Saleroom' (Bookings Essential)

Pisscatorious
Inflammation resulting from rubbing a cat's bottom

Quiltface: Self-explanatory, but for those not up to the effort, this malady is a side-effect of falling asleep drunk on a quilt... there are other ills of this nature, among them Tileface, Toiletbowlface, Carpetface and Footpathface

Reptiliousness: If you experience an indifference to the feelings of others, or the plight of others who are suffering in dire straits, discontinue use of Wurymyass . . if you care to, which you probably won't.

Sowhatitis: No, not Sow Hat It Is! So what itis! Who cares anyway

Tortillanus

Swelling of lower region,after consuming 4 helpings of re-fried Pinto beans

^

Undoneness: This is a side effect of being caught out, caught short, caught cheating and caught with your hand in the till

Vacantlocusis : Possible side effect from self induced frontal lobotomy

Thank you Stepan! That explains Igor's behaviour!

Water-on-the-knee (Knee Effusion): This affliction is a side effect of walking into water of a depth that exceeds the height of the calf muscles

EXtemperaneousitis

Resulting from unscripted impromptu foot in mouth.

Yessiritis: An affliction most suffered by acolytes, apprentices and 'Yesmen'. Visible symptoms include... a brown nose; loss of hair above the forehead from continually pulling at the forelock; worn patches at the knee of the wearer's trousers; a flat forehead from continually palming oneself thereat; treatment consists of removal from the workplace, counselling, a good stiff belt of some spirituous liquor or similar and being sacked.